Healing the Shame That Binds You (Paperback)

~ (Author) "Because of its preverbal origins, shame is difficult to define..." (more)
Key Phrases: perfectionistic system, shame siren, toxic shame, Alice Miller, Lost Child, Surrogate Spouse (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

In an emotionally revealing way, Bradshaw shows us how toxic shame is the core problem in our compulsions, co-dependencies, addictions, and the drive to superachieve, resulting in the breakdown in the family system and our inability to go forward with our lives.

About the Author

John Bradshaw has been at the forefront of the self-development and recovery field for more than ten years. He has helped millions of people improve their lives through his ongoing lecture series, his nationally broadcast public television series and his bestselling books.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 245 pages
• Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (October 1, 1988)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0932194869
• ISBN-13: 978-0932194862
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #18,819 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #5 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Recovery > Adult Children of Alcoholics
  #46 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Psychotherapy, TA & NLP

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

138 of 144 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars retrieve your soul from hell, January 7, 2002

By	Orva Schrock "[e-mail]" (goshen, in United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

It is no exaggeration to say this was the most helpful self-help book i've ever encountered. For a long time I was always a seeker but could never get to the bottom of the "soul sickness" I felt within my deepest sense of self. I was operating under the general theory my soul had been stolen from me in my early childhood. [I was raised by a brutal Amish preacher father who was very abusive physically and emotionally] I could never feel right about who and what I was as a person. This book truly opened my inner eye and gave me the insights and tools to take that mythical inner journey into my own "underworld" and find and retrieve my soul. After many years of depression, divorces, alcoholism, feeling absolutely defective as a human being, this wonderful book brought tears to my eyes, light to my mind, and true healing to my heart. I feel now I am a completely different person than I was during those years of toxic shame hell. While the healing is still ongoing, the light and growth of self esteem I've found are sure and precious treasures "The Universe" , [God?] has blessed me with. If your life seems depressing and out of control and sad; please read and reread this masterful work of self exploration. It can save you from much shame and pain. If you are as toxically shame based as I was, this book could very well save your life and engender a new feeling in your heart and soul: peace and happiness!

84 of 88 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars For All Those Living In the Shadow of Shame..., June 27, 1999

By	Elizabeth Hunyadi (Greenwood Lake, NY) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Many suffer from the damaging effects of Toxic Shame. A little-explored subject, it causes one to feel defective from the core of one's being. The roots of shame come from abuse and dysfunctionality in the family and early socialization in school. People then tend to measure their worth against external standards and feedback and when it is negative or lacking, can feel a devasting loss of self. Whether perpetrated on an overt or covert level, the damaging effects can last a lifetime, leading people into mental illness, addiction, and crippling disfunctionality.

Bradshaw gives a diagnostic and thereapeutic vocabulary to those who desperately need it. Some people are shamed by the same people over and over again (ie: spouses and family) and need the tools with which to cope. Based on the twelve-step paradigm, Bradshaw shows us how to recognize the signs of toxic shame and how to (with the help of a therapist and/or healing community) eventually overcome it.

51 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Sensitive, probing study of toxic shame, August 9, 1996

By A Customer

John Bradshaw has written a thorough, concise guide to victims who suffer from toxic shame, in order to help them identify the shame they are feeling and then to alleviate and eliminate that shame. An all-intrusive emotion, toxic shame can devastate a life, destroy marriages, and leave the suffering victim alone and confused. Bradshaw has drawn a road map for these victims to help themselves find the way out of the endless cycle of shame and guilt that surrounds their lives every single day. Since he is also a victim of childhood abuse, Bradshaw has a keen insight into the haunting terrors of being ashamed of your family because of alcoholism, drug dependence, sexual abuse...he covers it all. This book is a must-read for the adult who has been raised in a traumatic setting. Healing the Shame that Binds You is a life-line to victims, and can be the first step on the road to recovery from toxic shame and other psychological problems brought on by dysfunctional family situations.