When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within (Paperback)

by Matthew McKay (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"A fine job! . . . I very much like its practical, applicable techniques and the friendly, constructive tone." --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Product Description
While anger can serve vital functions to protect and defend the integrity of the self, it is too frequently an instrument that destroys and abuses. Hostile reactions often lead to guilt, regret, and alienation; uncontrolled anger exacts a heavy price from the mind and body. Research suggests that individuals who are quick to anger are vastly more likely to die early in life than those whose reactions to stress are more pacific and controlled. This book is a complete, step-by-step guide to changing habitual anger-generating thoughts while developing healthier, more effective ways of meeting your needs. It is ideal for therapists who work with families or teach anger control and helpful for health professionals who treat the effects of Type-A personality. This book guides you through the process of creating your own personal intervention strategy for controlling angry impulses. Learn about the "two-stage" model of anger production. Find out how to recognize pre-existing stress-producing conditions that often lead to angry moments without directly causing them. When you work through the exercises and lessons in this book, you will immediately see positive change in every aspect of your life. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 319 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications (November 1989)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0934986762
• ISBN-13: 978-0934986762
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.1 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #536,780 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

56 of 57 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book on anger really works!, November 5, 1999

By A Customer

[e-mail] from Tulsa, OK., USA Nov. 5, 1999 I consider this to be an excellent book on the subject of anger! Why? Because it helped me!

I read the reviews of this book on Amazon, and I am pleased to say I am one of the extremists. I thought it was well written and direct, not clouded with excessive rhetoric or "powdered sugar". It places the responsibility for anger right where it can be fixed, on me. It does not involve itself with painstaking research into the "Why" of anger, although that may come out through the use of the Anger Journal. It does contain many suggested causal areas, and my mind was quick to point out my guilty participation. I have gone from multiple angry outbursts per day to one or so mild angry responses per week in less than two weeks. Learning about "Shoulds" and "Blamers" can do that! And was I surprised to learn that I was contributing to my cholesterol problem by being angry! Anger was killing me!

It is behavioral in nature, and for those looking for, and brave enough to use, a path to correcting anger as a response to problems, this is your book! I strongly recommend it!

When Anger Hurts (chapters)

Understanding Anger

1. When Anger Helps 2. The Myths of Anger 3. The Physiological Costs of Anger 4. The Interpersonal Costs of Anger 5. Anger As A Choice - The Two-Step Model 6. Who's Responsible? 7. Combating Trigger Thoughts 8. Controlling Stress Step By Step 9. Stopping Escalation 10. Coping Through Healthy Self-Talk 11. Response Choice Rehearsal 12. Problem-Solving Communication 13. Images Of Anger 14. Anger As A Defense

Anger At Home

15. Anger And Children 16. Spouse Abuse

I have made a detailed outline of the book. If you'd like to have it, e-mail me.

45 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Facing Anger, February 12, 2000

By A Customer

"When Anger Hurts" is an excellent book. I had mistakenly believed that to hold in anger was bad for your health both physically and psychologically. Although I never got angry with my casual friends, my "loved ones" were not spared. I realized something wasn't right about the way I was expressing my anger. This book was an excellent source of information for me. It made me look at how anger is good if we use it to propel us to positive action. If you read this book, you will gain tremendous insight on what triggers anger. It will amaze you! This knowledge alone will help you to use your anger more effectively and appropriately. We need not make our lives painful. Holding onto anger and blaming only make our lives less joyous. This book will help you live a life that is more fulfilling. It will at least give you a wonderful start.

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Long-haul read, but very effective for me., April 19, 1999

By	Mike Hession ([e-mail]) (London, England) - See all my reviews

I picked up the book in a library, and have been looking for a copy to own ever since. The book painstakingly talks you through the argument that anger is not in itself bad, but that anger is a response which at some level is a choice.

The chapters take you through the process of identifying the patterns of thoughts which trigger anger, such as blaming, globalisation (making a mountain out of a molehill) etc. Once these triggers have been identified, the book offers a number of strategies to cope with them.

The book emphasises that by controlling your response to the trigger thoughts you can choose not to be angry. It's hard work, and no quick-fix, but I found it more helpful than anything else I've tried.

As a bit of background, I am a happly married family man with two kids, but I found I had this bullying side to my nature which was out of all proportion to the stimuli received. It's still there, but the techniques in the book kind of slow down and separate the stages of becoming angry in this way, and so have given me a chance to choose a different way of coping with the stimuli.

Anyway, it's a book I would recommend.