Who's Really from Venus? The Tale of Two Genders (Paperback)

~ Peggy J., Ed.D. Rudd (Author) "Mars is the Roman God of war, the husband or lover of Venus, the planet named for him, and the exemplary model of masculinity..." (more)
Key Phrases: femme side, dozen bits, chromosome pattern, Barbara Jean, Dozen Bits of Wisdom, Learning To Face Conflict (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Who's Really from Venus? Is the best book written by Dr. Peggy Rudd to date and should be a must read for everyone on Planet Earth". -- Jane Ellen Fairfax, M.D.

Product Description

Finally the answer to the question: Can the balance of masculinity and femininity improve human life?

Mars is the Roman God of War, husband or lover of Venus, the planet named for him and the exemplary model of masculinity. Venus is the Roman Goddess of Love and Beauty, the planet for her and the model of femininity. But there are millions of people on Planet Earth who choose to embrace the better qualities of not Venus and Mars rather than stay with the stereotypical model or expected norms of their birth sex. Their stories are presented within the pages of this thought provoking and beautiful book. Many of these human mortals are transcending gender lines in their endless journey between Mars and Venus.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Pm Pub; 1 edition (March 15, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0962676241
• ISBN-13: 978-0962676246
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,274,119 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointment, August 6, 2001

By	Robert A. Fesmire (California, United States of America) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

After eagerly anticipating an in depth treatment of the subject, I frankly found Ms. Rudd's performance disappointing and shallow. Much of the book seemed to be devoted to ordinary issues arising in two people getting along harmoniously in any relationship...for example, her extensive quotes of Gen. Powell. Further, nothing was said about the absurd inequity in this culture where a woman can dress fully as a man and be perfectly socially acceptable, even down to the boxer shorts. Is the male in the relationship going to go into a big number over the female wearing jeans or business suits?? So why should the female such as Ms. Rudd make a big deal of her husband 'cross-dressing' (is a female cross-dressing when she dresses like a man?)? She makes it appear that the shocking business of her husband/boyfriend 'cross-dressing' is fraught with issues for the (injured) female in the relationship to work through??? Not much of a substantive analysis was ventured as to WHY many men have this desire....such as perhaps because in this distorted macho culture the normal human characteristics that are associated with being properly limited to females (such as sensitivity, passivity, weakness, being emotional (except anger which males are allowed to feel)) are off-limits to the successfully American inculturated male (cf. Jung and discussions of the animus/anima which all humans possess). In any event, I found Ms. Rudd's treatment shallow and superficial, and much ink was wasted on the common relationship issues that don't specifically address the subject at hand. I certainly do agree that the issues raised are important, and that males need to appreciate and accept their 'feminine' sides along with their 'male' sides. For some males cross-dressing seriously or just in fun or just in a limited fashion perhaps can be part of that. After all, females due to the women's movement now can act and dress exactly like males and nobody makes an issue of that. Time for a little equity, guys. Time for one of you to write a book from the male perspective, not the female's perspective as illustrated by Ms. Rudd's superficial and subtlely judgmental treatment.

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Who's Really From Venus? made me laugh, cry and think!, August 23, 1998

By A Customer

Who's Really From Venus? presents guidelines that are essential for anyone seeking fulfillment in any type of relationship. The caring, understanding, companionship, trust and communication advocated in this book transcend the boundaries of all relationships, not just those of the transgendered community. As the partner of a gender gifted man, I would recommend that this book be required reading for anyone in a new relationship or to improve an existing one with a spouse or partner. Dr. Rudd's insight into the components of lasting love in any relationship are on target and are applicable to every couple in today's society. Acceptance of the side of the transgendered self that is of Venus can be difficult for some compared to the acceptance of the side that is of Mars. The loss of any one side would diminish the whole. Dr. Rudd has put forth an elegant and comprehensive text. It is well researched and thoughtfully presented. It is a poignant reminder that balance and acceptance are not so easily gained by all, but are realistically obtainable goals. I also loved the 30+ pictures.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars When Worlds Collide - Genesis, November 13, 2001

By	DJ Loput Sr "DJLSr" (Los Angeles, California) - See all my reviews

Looking at the message from the author that she so thoughtfully placed on the inner cover - "Dear Dana, Please accept this book as my token of appreciation for your many contributions to the gender community. Keep up the good work. Love, Peggy" - shows what a kind heart was behind the words of this book.

Dr. Rudd is married, and her life partner is transgendered. This book is an open love letter to her soul mate and not a primer on "How to Apply Make-up". Peggy displays, in her own wonderful way, the ability to put into words her life experiences of what is real about the "world" of living successfully with a transgendered person. She makes no excuses nor bears not one iota of regret or shame. Peggy is happy with her life - and she shares the important factors of living with a TGirl which makes her/their relationship work.

Dr. Rudd's book is actually controversial. When a MtF TG reads her prose it seems kind of shallow - at first. Here's why. The average MtF in a marriage or "traditional" relationship has made up his/her mind that what they are doing is what his/her partner will accept. He/She has rationalized everything out as to why this is acceptable - problem being? - He/She hasn't shared all of the lifelong rationalizations in a way that can be understood by their life partner. He/She has a tendency to only share the "conclusions".

Peggy Rudd does her best to try and get the point across that life partners of MtF Tgirls need explanations - need reassurances - need answers. Life partners want to listen - they want to love and accept. Life partners just need answers. Peggy accomplishes this in a way that not many authors have the ability and skill to do. Through the clever use of lists, recommendations, poems, and examples - she lays out easy scenarios that can lead to discussions that will allow both the Martian (him/her?) and the Venusian (him/her?) to vent, clear their thoughts, and understand.

If you want a book that is an easy read, will give you the opportunity to open up a dialogue between you and your life partner without embarassment, and will allow you to honestly discuss the issue of transgender - this will get it done. If you are looking for a "How-To" book on applying make-up then look for something else. This is a book about relationships - and it is your ticket to easy open dialogue.

Here's a crazy suggestion! Buy two books and each of you read one simultaneously. You will laugh together, cry together, and open your souls together.

"A woman is not born - she becomes".