How to Survive Your Own Gay Life: An Adult Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships (Paperback)

by Perry Brass (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
In this "adult guide to love, sex, and relationships," Perry Brass reminds us that the most successful romantic life comes from living an authentic one. Consequently, he says, gay men need to be honest with each other--and, more importantly, with themselves--about their emotional and sexual intentions. You don't need professional counseling to achieve this honesty; if anything, Brass argues, "gay men have become too attached to therapy--and to their relationships with their therapists." Instead of promoting falsely intimate, "nurturing" relationships that allow continued avoidance of one's problems, Brass advocates confronting your issues--particularly internalized homophobia--directly and consistently. Whether he's encouraging gay men to reject commercialized erotica in favor of their own imaginations or making a case for distinguishing between your lover and your best friend, Brass lays his argument out in a straightforward, provocative style that should inspire every reader to make some changes in his life. --Ron Hogan

Review
Everybody has a philosophy, in this ancient and noble sense of the word. But few writers have Mr. Brass's credentials. Author of numerous works of poetry and science fiction, he's also been involved with gay liberation and health institutions since their inception. So he knows a little something about survival, and it shows. Mr. Brass's lovely phrase for the special contributions we make is "the gay work." The gay work involves, for example, open friendliess to strangers, in contrast to the paranoid insularity of general urban experience and the ever-beleagered Great American Family. The gay work includes "celebrating male beauty," which in Mr. Brass's vision, is somewhat closer to understanding Whitman's poetry than to subscribing to the Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue I may find so much of this book appealing because its author is my peer in age. But is it possible it's also because he's wise? Maybe its because he suggests queerness might authentically have something to do with living by your own rules, not fulfilling either a clinical or political set of criteria. How to Survive Your Own Gay Life is a book that looks forward, not backward. -- Bernard Welt writing in Lambda Book Report, November, 1998

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Product Details

• Paperback: 221 pages
• Publisher: Belhue Press; 1st edition (August 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0962712396
• ISBN-13: 978-0962712395
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,113,277 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars a wise meditation on surviving as a gay man in hostile times, November 20, 1998

By	[e-mail] (San Francisco, California) - See all my reviews

This is a beautifully written book addressing the problems gay man have living today. Perry Brass is wise and cares enormously about gay men and wants us to have more fully realized and happy lives. Perry offers many practical suggestions on how to cope with life today and how to make our lives better. He covers many aspects of our lives, including relationships and anti-gay violence on the streets and in the workplace. This is a very readable book many gay men will find useful and touching to read. I highly recommend reading this lovely gift to our community

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Brass never brighter..., January 12, 2002

By	Craig Leavitt (California) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Perry Brass has his lighthouse of gay orientations on full blast, and everyone is going to see some light. Here are one gay man's uninhibited, intuitive, sensitive and spiritual ideas superimposed over gay life as most experience it. In purely intentional and non-abrasive ways Perry Brass willingly becomes your new best friend for the length of the read, and encourages all who "listen" openly, to spend time reinventing themselves in positive, meaningful ,surprizing and lasting ways. This is the book that convinced me I was my own best friend.

If you are depressed, this is a fine place to rest.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars To the Point!, March 9, 2001

By	Spot (New York) - See all my reviews

I originally bought the book for my partner who cam out recently, he is 37 years old and is a bit behind in the knowledge of Gay Liberation. I am a twenty-seven year old who came out when I was 19 thankfully, I think coming out at a young age is the best time. I was inspired to let you know that this book is very informative and clever with a wit rarely seen in books like these. I thank you for the historic knowledge, some I already knew after living in San Francisco and now in New York, discovering this book was good timing for my partner and I. This book is real, as real as it gets and I highly reccomend it to every gay male, in the closet or out of the closet.