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30 of 39 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
An amazing tale of a life-and-death struggle with terror., March 19, 1998
This book is about death, being scared to death by uncontrollable panic. It happens, though, that Ms. Stewart's fears and resulting panic attacks were of a curious, ineffable sort. They make little sense to those uninitiated to panic disorder. What should cause panic, a helicopter ride, bungee jumping, losing a job, or being followed? Ms. Stewart's attacks were triggered by shopping, walking around a track, or just driving a car. Surprisingly, panic attacks don't result from real trouble, or as James Russell Lowell said, "The misfortunes hardest to bear are these which never came." Like investors who buy on rumor and sell on news, Ms. Stewart "used to worry that I had Hodgkin's Disease until the cure rate went over 80%." I couldn't put this book down. It's authentic. It's irreverent. I read it from cover to UPC code in one sitting. Evelyn Stewart's story. Prognosis: "What do you wear to a meeting with your own dark side? I could not go to work, could not even finish dressing. I was crazy. I had lost the ability to accessorize. I would have to go on disability. I would wear stripes and plaids together and not care. It was the beginning of the end." Hospital: "She took me to a small room with an examining table where I could lie down and panic in private." Treatment:"The ENT...offered me the opportunity of taking a test which consisted of pouring water in my ears at intervals to measure what? Endurance? Stupidity?" Cure:Beside the bed I have a shotgun loaded with Valium>" Announcement:"Ralph was graduated from his small-engine repair home study course, and Evelyn can almost walk to the mailbox alone now." In truth, she eventually finds a caring professional and emerges not healed but healing, scarred but animated. Her recovery, poignant and revitalizing, is made more powerful by her relentless determination to enter the dark and exit alive. Jawaharial Nehru said, "Logic and cold reason are poor weapons to fight fear and distrust. Only faith and generosity can overcome them." Faith and generosity gives the tormented writer of this remarkable book, from whom paralyzing fear has yielded and"...grown so free from care since my heart broke," the chance to live again.
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by Claire Weekes
