French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France (Paperback)

by Polly Platt (Author) "On November 3, 1991, the London Times, which, unlike the hysterical London Sun, expects to be taken seriously, came out with a story that rocked..." (more)
Key Phrases: New York, Grandes Ecoles, Eiffel Tower (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Let's face it: the French have gotten a bad rap. Mention that you're considering a trip to France and everyone will warn you about rude waiters, supercilious shopkeepers, and snooty concierges who won't give you the time of day--and worse, pretend not to understand your high-school French. Not so, says Polly Platt, author of French or Foe?; "The French are generous, exhilarating friends," but they are different--wonderfully so. The trick to getting along in France is understanding the culture and learning to accept it on French terms instead of your own. Though the book is designed primarily for people who will be living or working in France for extended periods, the lessons Platt teaches about manners, attitudes, and culture are invaluable for even those visitors just passing through. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 292 pages
• Publisher: Distribooks; 3 edition (September 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0964668424
• ISBN-13: 978-0964668423
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (76 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #55,493 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

82 of 82 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Outdated and not all that practical for the middle class. . ., March 28, 2006

By	M. Lindner (PARIS, France) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I bought this book before we moved to France in 2004. The only edition I could find was the 2nd one. Granted, the new 3rd edition has come out, which I hope contains some corrections, but in the 2nd edition (written in the late 1990s) lists Mitterand as the President (still!) and Jaques Chirac as the Mayor of Paris. Considering this had changed several years before the 2nd edition came out, it made me question what other outdated information was in the book.

When I first read through the book, I thought it was excellent. I honestly thought it was going to prepare me for life in Paris. It certainly freaked me out completely, and I thought for sure we were going to be completely lost in this "proper" world with rallyes, snobby dinner parties, and having to forge close relationships with the cashiers at our local grocery store.

Our son attends Maternelle, which is where Polly Platt says a "rigorous and demanding" education begins. Not true!! I was actually afraid to send him to a school where teachers would talk down to him and force him to sit still for hours. Instead, his teacher is the sweetest woman, and the children spend their days painting, learning songs, reading, and playing. . .much like an American pre-school. In addition, whenever my son says "Bonjour Madame" to a woman in the store or on the street, they are always surprised, and quick to praise both of us. It is not something that is common, and children at the age of 2 (unlike stated in the book) do not usually do this.

After living in France for two years, I picked this book back up, and was frustrated with the poor advice. Polly Platt truly envisions herself as part of the upper crust of Parisian society, and most of her advice is ridiculous, at best.

I was teaching English at a local school, and tried to use the phrases Polly Platt has scattered around her book, such as "mal élevé" and "bien élevé." I was greeted with blank stares from my students who understood the words, but didn't quite grasp the concept. It wasn't an automatic given, as Ms. Platt likes to make it seem. Furthermore, on the playground, children come up to my son (a "stranger") and ask to play with him all the time -- something Ms. Platt claims will never happen due to the French pressures to be "bien élevé"

I gave the book two stars, because some of the advice is true. The French do have to be handled carefully, but most of this is common sense. Many Americans do not travel frequently, but one of the first international destinations on everyone's list is Paris. It can be disorienting to a traveler to come into a new culture, and I think this is why a lot of the misunderstandings occur. The rules aren't the same, but they are in no way as strict as is made out in "French or Foe." Nor should travelers be in the habit of rudely demanding anything from anyone, no matter where they go. I would say to the majority of people, this is common sense.

I have never shaken hands with a French person, unless I was the one who initiated it. Even in places of business, you will find people doing "la bise." One (French) friend of mine even took to feigning constant colds to get out of doing "la bise" with one of her co-workers who she didn't like all that much. I'm sure there are many situations where this is not appropriate, but it is very doubtful the average American coming to Paris will be shaking hands with the French all day long.

As other reviewers have already mentioned, the French make mistakes in their own language. Much like English has evolved, French is evolving. It is not spoken perfectly an precisely, especially by the younger generations. Dropping the "ne" in a negative sentance is quite common, turning "Ce n'est pas" into "C'est pas." Their language is protected with pride, but not quite as fiercly as Ms. Platt likes to claim.

All in all (because this review is now a monster), it's an okay book if you want a little overview of French culture, as well as some of the differences you might encounter here. However, take every piece of advice with a grain of salt, and remember that the majority of what is written on the pages of "French or Foe" will not be applicable to you.

99 of 104 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Oui, Je comprends maintenant..., May 25, 2003

By	Ahh! (Darting about) - See all my reviews

This review is from: French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France (Paperback)

As an anglo saxon with a French boyfriend, living and working in Paris, I often found myself thinking, "Oh. NOW I understand!" while reading this book. Several friends have complained about the unorganized, rambling nature of "French or Foe" but if you are like me and merely reading it to learn rather than to hunt for specific information, that shouldn't be a problem.
My biggest complaint? Platt's clear desire to impress upon all her readers the fact that she is of a certain social milieu. The name-dropping throughout begins as annoying but quickly becomes embarrassing. Yes, Polly, we are very very impressed that you know endless numbers of top-ranking foreign service people, CEOs, and all other sorts of rich and famous folk. But I, for one, would be more interested in hearing their tales mixed with some about the experiences of more 'common folk'. Also, Platt seems to assume that her readers all share her social aspirations and often wastes pages which could be used for more practical information, I was quite taken aback when she described the "Rally," which is a sort of French Cotillion where teens of the french upper crust meet other rich teens. Platt claimed that American mothers in Paris are dying to get their daughters into a good Rally, then explains the difficulty of doing so, all the while broadly hinting that her children were, of course, accepted into them. I couldn't believe it! No anglo saxon parent I've met here would give a hoot about having his or her child in a Rally. Again, I think Platt often writes for an audience who makes up a very small percentage of her readers.

39 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars French or Foe, June 20, 2000

By	PAUL (MA/USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France (Paperback)

28 years of teaching French, French culture, French history; 32 trips to France for business and pleasure; dear friends in Metz, Rueil-Malmaison, and Rennes; acquaintances in Toulouse and I STILL learned lots from Polly Pratt's delightful little book "French or Foe". Highly recommend to anyone travelling to France, especially for the first time, either for tourism or for business. Very important to read, re-read, then commit to memory the sections on everyday protocol. Polly's advice is right on the money. The French aren't just like Americans, but simply speak another language. There are some chasms between our values, based upon history-driven life experiences, and it is well to have an appreciation for those differences before leaving the USA. A lire! Amusez-vous, et bon voyage!