Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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33 of 34 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent Power Tool for Getting Ms. Right and Avoiding Ms. Wrong, August 4, 2005
This book really just tells it like it is. I think that good men will agree with most of what he says. Bob Lott is really explaining how any decent man can have a really beautiful woman in his life, but it will take work and discipline. His first step is to really cast out fear of approaching beautiful women by making you understand that your beliefs that you will fail are not based in reality.
He makes it clear that women are creatures with intricate needs, and one of these needs is to associate with classy male companions. However, beautiful women have to protect themselves from the jerks that routinely approach them, and they need time to warm up. Furthermore, you must use the tool of indirection to get past her defenses, to make her feel safe, to let her know that you're different, and to let her imagine more than what is there. The central thesis of his book is to never worry about how a woman feels about you. You, as a male suitor, need only worry about how she feels about herself.
Bob Lott explains that love, romance, and intimacy go hand in hand with each other. He adequately explains that many beautiful women HATE alcohol and that ALL beautiful women LOATHE problem drinkers. And he directs you to stay away from bar women, very wisely. If you are a man of class, dignity, and integrity, then those traits literally repel barflies. And the jealousy that beautiful women have to deal with from divas at nightclubs really hurts. Good men and beautiful women are not to be found in bars. And beautiful women know this.
The other crucial point Bob Lott makes is that the death of a relationship with a really beautiful woman is predictability. This does not mean instability, but rather always taking initiative to do new, fun, interesting things, and never being lazy. Keeping her around means constantly romancing her- taking a risk on her. It is through this selflessness that we come to love each other. Creating an affectionate, loving environment communicates to a woman that you think that she is not just OK, but rare and special. Intimacy exists only when we can deal with each other from an I'm OK- You're OK point of reference. But when you get lazy and cease to create a loving and affectionate environment, she will no longer want to be with you.
The mistake that most men make is that they believe, incorrectly, that being a woman's friend and being a woman's lover are mutually exclusive. It's just not so. Almost all women, especially the most beautiful (and also the loneliest of all), want to be closely attached to a lover who is their best friend and companion in life. It is precisely this kind of relationship that transforms us into better people, and helps us to get the most out of life.
And Bob Lott so wisely encourages you to focus on one woman at a time. He's right. Aim for the whole flock and you'll kill no birds, but aim for one and you'll hit it. Men who are constantly bedhopping are using sex as a narcotic. Their lives are empty and have no meaning. And when you've found the right woman, seen her display morality, character and integrity over and over again, and have a relationship based on loyalty and allegiance, this is when you should marry her.
And Bob Lott makes it clear that once you marry her, you can certainly never lie down on the job. You don't own her like chattel. She's your partner, whom you've chosen, and who has chosen you. If you want her to make your life wonderful, do your darndest to make hers wonderful as well.
[...]
This book is really about dating the top 2 percent of the female gender. It's about relating to the women who have a well-kept appearance, brains, class and personality- true beauty that will not fade over time. [...]
So go for it guys. Never be the jerk. Don't be the fake, phony guy who uses niceness to disguise what he really wants. BE A GOOD MAN.
But don't take my word for it.
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30 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Every Beautiful Woman Wants A Good Man!!, April 20, 2005
If you want a beautiful woman in your life. You must show that your a good man that can be trusted. You could be the biggest snake on the face of this earth. Thanks to this book, you can be transformed into the love of her life. Love and hate is on a very thin line. You are only a heart beat away into becoming everything in a man thats she is looking for. Allow this book to make that happen for you.
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50 of 56 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
A few good points in here, June 28, 2001
This is an all right book but there are better ones out there if you want to improve your dating skills.That said, here are the pros and cons: PROS (1) gives you a pep talk to work on your image in asking a good looking woman out; (2) teaches you how to have the right date with her; (3) teaches you how to act towards her . .. honesty, love, appreciation . .. realize she will walk if she doesn't get some basic needs met; (4) having a future with her; (5) how to break up with one beauty for another; what to say; and (6) marrying her CONS (1) Too much for such a small book . .. price, that is. (2) Not enough details on asking her out. It basically says to go up and ask her out after asking a question but spends no time in detailing to be aware of her body language towards you. The author makes it sound like just your sincerity will get a date. Not true. (3) There's nothing about the whole dating game. Not every woman you date is going to be a good match but you won't find that out until later. There isn't anything about dealing with manipulations or certain actions that a good looking woman will try, knowing that men will put up with more from her because of her beauty. (4) Conflict resolution skills, which are vital to any relationship, aren't helpful. He basically suggests you take everything in stride which makes you sound like you're afraid of conflict or want her to walk all over you; and (5) There's very little about making yourself presentable to a good looking woman. Based on the reading, the author makes it sound that a good heart will land you with the girl. Again, not true. Look at biology and anthropology, as well as the men good looking women are involved with; while they aren't always good looking guys or guys with money . .. they certainly aren't super overweight smelly guys with bad breathe. ... HOW TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN and R. Don Steele's BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS [are] good, too. If you want to know about long term, read John Gray or Barbara de Angelis.
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