When Your Friend's Child Dies: A Guide to Being a Thoughtful and Caring Friend (Paperback)

by Julane Grant (Author) "Grieving parents tell horror stories about the comments people make to them..." (more)
Key Phrases: grieving parents

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
A simply written, straight-forward book that will tell you what to say and do when you have a friend whose child has died. And, just as important, Chapter 1 tells you what not to say and why. An early reader described this book as a "slap-in-the-face wake-up call." After reading this book you will positively know how to comfort a parent who has lost a child, even ten years later. You won't have to memorize it; you will feel it. This book belongs in every household!

From the Author
In the last 11 years I have lost my mother, my son and my father, in that order. Let me tell you, losing my parents was only a drop in the tear bucket compared to losing my child. Most people don't realize how many people they know who have lost a child. After a few years most parents don't bring it up, certainly not because they have forgotten, but because friends and acquaintances either become embarrassed or change the subject. And this hurts! This book was written for the friends and family of a grieving parent but it is also a validation of feelings for bereaved parents. I suggest they leave it on the coffee table for their friends to pick-up, borrow and learn from.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 80 pages
• Publisher: Angel Hugs Pub (November 20, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0966665503
• ISBN-13: 978-0966665505
• Product Dimensions: 6.6 x 3.8 x 0.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #882,684 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Right-on advice to helping a friend cope with childloss, October 16, 2000

By	S. E. Duncan (Houston, TX United States) - See all my reviews

This little book has packed within its pages, marvelous advice. So many of us either find ourselves coping with childloss or attempting to assist someone else who has lost a child. It is a well written, most helpful guide to both those in bereavement and to those helping a friend cope with the loss of a child. The author, a bereaved parent, so well expresses how hurtful it is to hear typical phrases from those who are well-meaning, though so wrong in their approach. It is an excellent read and an on-hand reference that everyone should have BEFORE the need arises. What a wonderful, anytime gift for anyone! Bravo, Julane Grant!

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A primer on how to be a good friend!, April 26, 1999

By A Customer

The recent shootings of high school students at Columbine High School in Denver, Colorado prompted me to take a hard look at books that could help friends and relatives of those families cope with the loss of their children. Grant's small book "When Your Friend's Child Dies" stands out. At first glance, the reader is thinking "of course, that's what anyone should do." But the question is "Why don't we do and say what is in our hearts?" Grant's answer is right on--we are afraid of causing our friend more pain and too embarrassed to show our own emotions.

It is precisely at a time like the death of a friend's child when we should throw all caution to the wind and risk letting our friend know how much we care. Grant's list of the 10 things never to say, and her insight into the small, everyday thoughtful things we can do on an ongoing basis are worth their weight in gold.

Her book is all the more relevant as she covers the anger a parent feels when a child dies as a result of a violent act or senseless carelessness. The parents of those high school students will need compassion, support, and friends as they struggle with their loss in a very public place. Grant's suggestions for helping your friend through his or her anger are unique and thoughtful.

It shouldn't take catastrophes like the one at Columbine to remind us that every child's death is a tragedy. Although Grant wrote this book for friends and families of parents who've lost a child, I think parents will benefit equally. She's captured the pain and sorrow in the heart of every parent who has lost a child.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A perfect primer for how to REALLY help a friend grieve., June 4, 1999

By A Customer

Julane did a marvelous job of covering virtually every aspect of grieving issues surrounding a death. Grief is a deeply personal period which can be abruptly stifled by inappropriate or inconsiderate comments or actions. And, it can be terribly embarrassing and a guilt conveyance to the friend to do something wrong at such a critical time, when the intent was to provide support. A really terrific read.