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36 of 37 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
"In loving kindness.", July 13, 2001
Equal parts Zen and self help, this 233-page book examines how we have been conditioned to punish ourselves, and teaches us how to look deeply beyond that conditioning into our own good nature. It is about letting go of those voices that tell us we are bad, wrong and inadequate long enough for us to catch a glimpse of who we really are (p. ii). In another book, Zen teacher Cheri Huber compares self-hate to a parasite. "It steals your time, your joy, your good feeling about yourself," she writes in SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL (2000). "It steals your life" (p. 21).In this loosely-organized book ("kind of like life"), Huber says, "something is wrong with you is not the voice of your Heart, God, True Nature" (p. 110). Rather it is the voice of social conditioning that teaches us as children to stop looking to ourselves in order to know what is so for us, and to begin looking to others--parents, teachers, friends, lovers, spouses, "Jesus or the Buddha or God--all'out there'," in order to know what is right (pp. ii-iii). Social conditioning teaches us "to assume there is something wrong with us, to look for the flaws, to judge them when we find them, to hate ourselves for having them, to punish ourselves until we eradicate them" (p. 102). It does not teach us "to love ourselves for our goodness, to appreciate ourselves for who we are, to trust ourselves, to have confidence in our abilities, to look to our heart for guidance" (p. 102). Huber encourages us to be suspicious of any voice "inside or outside that says, 'there is something wrong with you'" (p. 50). Huber acknowledges it takes courage to look deeply beyond our self-criticism. "To sit still in compassionate acceptance is all that is required," she says (p. 85). Written with wisdom and clarity, Huber's book is an excellent guide for that inner journey. G. Merritt
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by Cheri Huber
by Cheri Huber
by Cheri Huber
