Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid Relationship (Paperback)

~ (Author) "If you were asked to describe the big picture or your relationship with your spouse or partner, what would happen inside of you?..." (more)
Key Phrases: picture partnering, regular talking time, partnering foundation, New York, Howard Markman, John Gottman (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Psychologist Hoistad lays out a road map for both new and established couples to achieve a secure, satisfying and invigorating relationship over the course of 16 weeks. The exercises in this workbook-style guide aim to help partners pinpoint and then transcend their current relational style: traditional (one dominant personality); merged (two interdependent people); roommate (equal yet disconnected). The goal is the titular Big Picture Partnering: strong individuals who create together the nurturing space Hoistad terms "our world." Once couples classify their mode of relating, Hoistad directs them to exercises that investigate the strengths and problems of each type, and gently advises them to break from destructive patterns by implementing new modes of thought, feeling and action. One guiding principle that Hoistad has gleaned from studying healthy relationships is the 5-to-1 ratio, in which couples aim for five positive interactions for every negative one. This investment, writes Hoistad, is an insurance policy every couple can count on during times of stress. Couples both married and unmarried will find valuable techniques for enhanced communication and commitment-though some, like time outs and weekly partnering meetings, may seem a bit artificial. The author's warm, supportive tone encourages readers to stick with her program, which is intensive and requires two fully engaged participants. Like every worthwhile endeavor, Hoistad's path will take couples down roads they may not like to tread, but, as she insists, bumpy paths are part of "the trip of a lifetime."
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Review

"A fantastic book to guide you to the relationship you long for." -- Pat Love, Ed.D., author of THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE

"A pathway to relationship success, empowering couples with tools to save them hundreds in therapy bills and years of frustration." -- Patty Howell and Ralph Jones, authors of WORLD CLASS MARRIAGE

"Chock-full of anecdotes, advice, and tips that will encourage couples toward fully considering each other in everything they do...Recommended." -- Library Journal, May 2004

"This book can help couples have a great marriage!" -- Howard J. Markman, author of 12 HOURS TO A GREAT MARRIAGE

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 300 pages
• Publisher: Twofold Publications (January 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0974535184
• ISBN-13: 978-0974535180
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 7.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #988,635 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Big Picture Partnering:16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid Relationship, February 28, 2004

By A Customer

What's great about this book is that it's not a solve-the-problems-in-your-relationship kind of book. It seems to be for couples who are doing just fine, they just want to kick it up a notch: reconnect, re-evaluate, and look at where they want to go together. This was an invaluable read for us (we both read it)- and we find ourselves really enjoying exploring places outside of our daily lives- the plans and goals we talked about when we first got together.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Relationship Tonic, February 26, 2004

By	Clare Miller (Minneapolis, MN United States) - See all my reviews

Thinking I had it all figured out, I only picked up Big Picture Partnering at the insistence of a good friend. After devouring it in a weekend, I can't stop telling people (my husband first and foremost) what I've learned. Every marriage or relationship can use a little new energy, or some new skills so partners can take things to a new level--this is exactly what I found in Big Picture Partnering. The author offers real world specifics to help you enjoy the good times, see through the hard times, and always keep your big picture in mind.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars For couples who want real, long-lasting love, February 25, 2004

By A Customer

This isn't a book about finding a mate or falling in love, or even about keeping a relationship alive. It's about something much bigger.

Big Picture Partnering starts with the assumption that you're already with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. (So if you don't want, plan, or hope to be with your partner over the long haul, forget this book.)

But if you're serious about creating a lifelong partnership, and want it to be something special, this is the book to get.

This is not a book of quick fixes or easy answers. Instead, it is full of approaches and activities that can help any couple build trust, communication, understanding, commitment, and real, lasting love (the kind where both of you have your heads in the clouds AND your feet on the ground). After working through this book together with your partner, you won't need quick fixes or easy answers, because what you have won't need fixing. And you'll have each other, for real and for a lifetime.