DON'T SHOOT! I'm Coming Out ~ How to "Man-Up" and Set Heterosexuals "Straight" (Paperback)

by Benn Setfrey (Author) "This book is dedicated to young men who are battling with their sexual orientation and to those men who embrace their homosexuality but prefer the..." (more)
Key Phrases: gay dudes, African Americans, Miss Phattas, George Bush (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
WOW!A powerful, revealing and strong read that's long overdue" -- David Kopay, 1st NFL Player to annouce his homosexuality

Product Description

Benn Setfrey turns the tables and puts the Black community “on notice” for the sinful often-fatal atrocities that are perpetrated against homosexuals in his new book “DON’T SHOOT! I’m Coming Out ~ How to Man Up & Set Heterosexuals Straight”. Benn, an African American who has lived a very private life, risks public persecution by “coming out” to bring you his personal story of love, betrayal, discrimination, and damnation.

In his witty and thought-provoking style, Setfrey confronts the hypocrites, who sit in church every Sunday claiming to be saved while simultaneously condemning every gay man to hell.

Additionally, he shares the Creative Classroom Management Strategies he used while an educator for both Chicago and Milwaukee Public Schools. His tactics will indeed modify student conduct all over the country as he bends the rules by breaking the teacher code of silence. “If you show me 10 principals; I’ll show you 9 fools. How about No Child, Parent or Teacher Left Behind.”

Don’t Shoot! I’m Coming Out also includes a one-of-a-kind guide for gay men and men who feel trapped in the closet. The guide is not about “coming out” or being on the down-low; but more about developing a sense of manhood, gaining autonomy, and changing the paradigm on how the world views homosexuals and how homosexuals view themselves

Who will young black gay men turn to for guidance when their fathers turn their backs? We, according to Setfrey, have no MACHO gay role models and no rulebook to follow, but now that’s all about to change.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 264 pages
• Publisher: PageTurner Publishing (February 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0977428206
• ISBN-13: 978-0977428205
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #876,477 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars DON'T SHOOT! I'm Coming Out ~ How to "Man-Up" & Set "Heterosexuals "Straight", February 27, 2006

By	Jonathan (Chicago) - See all my reviews

Benn Setfrey's book, "Don't Shoot," touched my soul unlike any other book I've ever read. As a 30-year-old black gay man, I've read many books -- fiction and non-fiction -- written by gay authors who have attempted to strike a cord, but often their books miss the mark.

Benn Setfrey's book hits home because he's willing to reveal his own struggles and he shares with us some of life's lessons he's learned along the way. I'm not willing to honor someone's criticism unless I feel a connection to the source. Benn allows us to connect with him through his personal experiences.

It's amazing to me how we as black gay men go about our own individual lives, either afraid or unwilling to share what bonds us together. Our collective experiences growing up in a world that teaches us loving another man is wrong, is such a strong connection. Unfortunately, many black gay men have bought the hype as we continue to further alienate ourselves from each other.

Tops. Bottoms. Fem. DL. Masculine. Queen. Sure, these are labels, but they have also become the terms that have seeped into the mindset of gay black men and identify who we are. But are those labels all we are? Benn challenges us to go beyond the terms and get at the core of who we are as men. I repeat, MEN.

Many of us have lived parallel lives, yet we are again afraid or unwilling to openly discuss what ultimately is a common bond. In Don't Shoot, Benn challenges those notions and causes us to look at ourselves in a way we many of us have not have looked at ourselves before.

What does it mean to be a gay black man in America? What responsibility does the older generation have to lead the younger generation? How do you find your soul mate?

I wonder what my life would have been like had I read Benn's book in my teens or twenties? Would I have continued to search for love in all the wrong places? Would I have been empowered to challenge my family's Biblical attacks? Ultimately, I believe the book landed in my hands at the right time.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening for Parents of Gay Offsprings, March 17, 2006

By	A. Johnson - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

After reading Benn's book, I am much more aware of what young gay children are going through at the hands of our churches, the society at large, and (God forbids) at home! As an African American woman, I have endured oppression as long as I can remember by our society, our church, and our men. I have been too busy thinking about my own pain to give much thought to the pain of our young (and old) gay persons in our society. Many of us believe that homosexuals choose to be gay,but that race and gender is not a choice, so in effect, gay people bring their pain upon themselves. Benn straightens us all out here and gives us a lot to think about when he tells us, Living gay is a choice, but "Being gay" is not a choice. Benn you have opened my eyes, ears and heart with your very provocative book. This book is a "must read" for all of us, gay, straight, old and young alike, but more importantly, for parents who are ignorant as I was, to many of the challenges that young gay people are up against on a daily basis brought on by the forces in our society that we whole dear, i.e. church, family, community and our government.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous, March 4, 2006

By	IzRead (WI) - See all my reviews

I read the book, and it was informative and enlightening. I am a heterosexual female, but I could still relate to the topics in the book (ie, Rules of Engagement). My favorite Chapters are Low Down on the Down Low and Judgement Day. I feel that this book will really help teens and adults who may be struggling and juggling their sexuality. Teens who are "Coming Out" should really read this book to gain knowledge, to know that they are NORMAL and not to let others decide their fate. This is a must read for 2006. The author was/is educated, witty, and entertaining all at the same time.