Standing the Watch: The Greatest Gift (Paperback)

~ R.J. Brown (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

In this expanded second edition of STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, R. J. Brown weaves excerpts from the medical log she had to keep for the State with memories, e-mails, essays & useful lists, as she stands The Watch for her beloved Poppa's final days.

At 89 years of age, Lincoln Brown, in a Seattle hospital is told by his doctor that he has only three months left to live. Lincoln reminds his son that he promised not to let him die there, so they drive the six hours home across the Olympic Peninsula into the rainforest where Lincoln's cabin & his beloved Buddy-dog await. There, in his son & daughter-in-law's care, together with a home health agency crew, Lincoln prepares to die in his own bed, watching Blue Jays & Chipmunks feed on the picnic table outside his window.

As we Baby-Boomers begin taking care of our aging parents we're faced with the last big question: How shall we leave this world? Standing The Watch at a home death is no walk in the park of peace & harmony, it can be frightening, time-consuming, worrying, stressful, unpleasant & tedious. It is also fertile ground for courage, discipline, stamina, spirituality, compassion, loyalty, humor & love.

So who has the time to waste waiting for someone to die? There's nothing money can buy that gives more comfort. Nothing anyone can do or make other than give of their presence and time to bid you bon voyage. For in the meditation of Standing The Watch, you are in the pulse of life, totally present in the here and now, giving unconditional support. One moment we breathe, & the next we're gone.

And the greatest gift? It goes both ways: you giving of your strength and caring, with the understanding that this time it isn't about you, while your parents, for the last time, give you this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

If you've decided to care for your parents in their final days, this memoir offers answers to your questions & comfort for your worries.

Praise for STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift

Midwest Book Review
"A profound testimony and tribute filled with grief, love and courage while narrating a terrible trial. Standing The Watch is very highly recommended reading for anyone charged with the caring for a terminally ill parent."

Ruth Raven, Hospice Nurse, Olympic Peninsula "Standing The Watch is very timely with so many families taking on the challenge of a Home Death. R. J. Brown's articulate and folksy writing style makes for a very readable and fascinating tale."

Dr. Alma Halbert Bond, retired psychotherapist & author of 11 books "Standing The Watch is a page turner, beautifully written & heart warming. One might wonder how a book about death & dying could be heart warming, but it is. R. J. Brown writes clearly, simply, & movingly, & never fails to hold the reader's interest. I cannot imagine that there is anyone who would not deepen & evolve on reading Standing The Watch."

C. Lynwood Sawyer, co-author of An Uncertain Currency "I have a genuine affection for Standing The Watch. It addresses a very important topic that Americans evade at every opportunity. Not only is it strikingly vivid, the book ultimately feels very necessary."

Product Details

• Paperback: 228 pages
• Publisher: Big River Press (July 25, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0979874432
• ISBN-13: 978-0979874437
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #3,961,401 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars True Story About Living and Loving!, October 12, 2008

By	Glenda A Bixler "Glenda" (Pennsylvania) - See all my reviews

You may think by reading the blurbs for Standing the Watch: The Greatest Gift by R. J. Brown that this book is about death and dying. It is not!

This book is about Life! And giving the greatest gift that can be given to a parent or loved-one(s)--giving them the best possible life they can have as they live out their last days, months or years! For my mother, who had been living with me for many years, it was not a time of turmoil as I cared for her. She simply and quietly died in her sleep. I had only one thing to do for her right then--I immediately put a new pair of slippers on her worn feet as she had asked me to do.

But for some individuals, there are not only medical issues to be attended to; there are logistical issues of concern, based upon where a family lives. And then there is the burden that is placed on the caregiver(s) as time goes on and stress and strain develops. Standing the Watch in its second edition provides not only specific issues to consider, but, more importantly, in my opinion, the writer shares exactly what happens--both the good and the "not so good."

David and Rebecca had already made a commitment to Lincoln, David's father, that he would live with them after his wife died. And after many years, as Lincoln's health failed to a point that he was considered terminal, he asked for another commitment--for him to be allowed to die at home. Standing the Watch is the story that centers in on those final days of Lincoln's lifeľa story that should be read by everyone old enough to understand and grieve at the death of another! It should also be read and taken as a learning tool for pastors, doctors and friends of those who are caregivers!

I found that I could read this story from two sides--as a potential friend of Rebecca and David, as they lived through their pain and worry. The other side, as an individual who could very well be in the role of caring for loved ones in their declining years. This book does not need a review that tells you about the storyline, for we all know what occurs. It does, however, give you specifics about what must be done at that time, in one book, with places to make notes...and with checklists that can be reproduced easily and used!

Rebecca writes this book as if she is sitting, talking to you. You feel her disgust when Lincoln, who had been a missionary, has a pastor who cannot be bothered to visit him during his last days. You see her inclusion of email friends' notes, which obviously were so meaningful that they kept her and David going when inner strength was sagging. But, no matter what, you will see the love of a family, facing one of the toughest, most life-changing events in anybody's life--the loss of a loved one.

This book should be on your home bookshelf because you never know when it will be needed--to share with others in the same situation, to learn and brace yourself for the future, or to guide you day by day as you and a loved-one face the dance to the death. Some readers will search for this book at that time; but I urge you to read and be prepared...for Standing the Watch really is about now--and living and loving!


G. A. Bixler
For IP Book Reviewers

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Loving enough to let them die, October 29, 2008

By	Reader Views "www.readerviews.com" (Austin, Texas) - See all my reviews

Reviewed by Danelle Drake for Reader Views (10/08)

I will start by saying that this is one of the most beautiful books I have ever read. The writing brought me to tears with the loving way this leaving was embraced. As with many touchy subjects; death is not often discussed until it is upon us.

As written in "Standing the Watch," "There's something about caring for our parents in their last days that's more spiritual than all the religious words any holy man could say. More rewarding than the fruits of any other work." This simple phrasing says it all. David and RJ Brown dedicate their lives to allowing his father, Lincoln, die at home with honor and peace.

Upon his death, RJ writes; "We quietly speak to Poppa's Spirit as we take care, for the final time, of his earthly remains and I sing songs for his departure, while Buddy-dog sleeps beneath the bed. David turns off the heater, opens the door so Poppa's Spirit is free to leave and lets in cool, clean, moist air."

Not only is "Standing the Watch" somewhat of a guide to home death with many informative, educational pages at the end for those who will be embarking on the journey, it is filled with compassion for those caring for loved ones regardless of their location. I highly recommend this loving book as I feel those who read it will grow as a person and open their eyes to all of the beauty that surrounds us.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars RJB Helps You Prepare for a Home Death, October 25, 2008

By	Lynn Lott - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift
R. J. Brown
ISBN: 9780979874437

In this expanded second edition of my favorite memoir about peacefully dying at home, the author has included sections about the lessons she learned, added pages for your own notes as well as a set of Useful Lists you can copy as you Stand The Watch for someone.
Before reading Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift I never believed that a home death could be a gift to both the dying and the living. I also lived in as much denial as I could about death and this little book was just what I needed to wake me up and reeducate me about dying. By accompanying the author in her ministrations to her dying father-in-law it helped me feel less fearful.
As you read the stories, log entires, e-mails, memories and essays you'll feel like you are chatting with the author over a cup of tea. Her style is warm, loving, informative and awe-inspiring.
Why would we want to learn more about death? As a writer of parenting and other self-help books, I know there's no shortage of books teaching us how to welcome, celebrate and live life. But we still hide from death or hope others will take care of it for us.
Whether you intend to care for a loved-one as they die and are looking for comfort, wisdom and help, or you doubt you'll ever be at the bedside of a dying person there's much to gain from reading Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift. Surely, you'll be swept away by the love that fills it. Absolutely, you'll be amazed at the courage and tenacity as this husband and wife help their elder exit this world. And certainly, you'll be comforted by the stories of other deaths and other times as the author shares her past. I'm guessing you'll find yourself thinking, "I wish I could be like that," or "Lincoln Brown was one lucky man."
I highly recommend you spend an evening or two with this book, in front of the fire if you have one. I promise your feelings will be stirred and you will be enriched both in the present while you're captivated by the story, and in the future when you're tending to the death of a loved-one, perhaps, even your own.
Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift is about the unknown and the unspoken and tells it like it is. I believe R. J. Brown when she writes, "While a home death can be frightening, time-consuming, worrying, stressful, unpleasant and tedious, it's also fertile ground for courage, discipline, stamina, spirituality, compassion, loyalty, humor and love."