Eats, Poops & Leaves: The Essential Apologies, Rationalizations, and Downright Denials Every New Parent Needs to Know and Other Fundamentals of Baby Etiquette (Paperback)

by Adam Wasson (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
Because What You Don’t Know, Will Embarrass You.

What should you do if your baby shrieks at a wedding or “stealth vomits” on an innocent bystander? How can you use your child to avoid old friends you never liked in the first place? Is there a polite way to encourage cash baby-shower gifts or determine whether or not your babysitter is insane? Are there special rules for parentally impaired drivers?

Eats, Poops & Leaves has the answers to all these questions and more, offering polite yet innovative solutions to the etiquette situations—from the mundane to the bizarre—that confront all new parents, including:

Travel Etiquette: What to do when your baby screams on a plane

Workplace Etiquette: How to use your child (or your friend's!) as an excuse for tardiness and incompetence

Beauty Etiquette: Do strangers confuse your bald baby girl for a boy? We've got solutions.

Lots of books teach you how to change diapers, but this is the first book that will help you trick your spouse into doing it. At last, a hip, hysterical, illustrated etiquette guide to the things new parents really need to know.

About the Author
Adam Wasson is the coauthor of The Self-Destruction Handbook. His three-year-old daughter already beats him at Scrabble, but that’s because she uses words like wxiblhee.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press (May 24, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1400097533
• ISBN-13: 978-1400097531
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #343,030 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious doesn't begin to describe this!!, December 8, 2006

By	Suzy Brown (Northern VA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This has got to be the all time funniest thing I have EVER read! And I'm an English/Poetry grad student, I read a LOT!

Besides the humerous stuff worth its weight in gold, it doesn't have to be read straight through, you can just open it to any random page and read something - a little or a lot, it's all good!!

Being a new parent is tough, and a lot of times depressing and demoralizing. This is the PERFECT pick-me-up. It's even more funny-cuz-it's-true when you have more kids!

This book is highly recommended, for you or for anyone you know with babies.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars hilarious!, October 28, 2005

By	Carliann (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews

I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard! Wasson's parody of parenting strikes at the truth so many times -- I saw reality written all through this satire. Plus, a thought I will often ponder: My parents could have spared me the problem of encountering multiple other Carlies in school by naming me Carlee or, for that matter, Carleeeee. I mean, seriously. Why didn't they think of it? =) Read this book, you just might laugh so hard that people will think you're sobbing.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Cute, a quick read, March 18, 2007

By	A. Dameron "Redpanda" (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This would be a great baby gift for new parents-to-be, especially dads-to-be. It really is cute, and occasionally caused me to laugh out loud. I bought it for myself and will pass it on happily to the next set of friends who are expecting, but I wouldn't buy it for myself again.