Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage (Hardcover)

~ Dina Matos Mcgreevey (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

The truth behind the lies.

It was an unforgettable scene. Dina Matos McGreevey, an attractive woman in her mid-thirties, wife, mother, and First Lady of the state of New Jersey, watched silently as her husband, then New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, resigned his office with the revelation that he was a "gay American." The picture of grace and loyalty, perfectly composed in her pale blue suit, Dina Matos McGreevey gave no sign of the tangled mixture of fear, sorrow, and anger she felt that day, no hint of the devastation that was to come. Since then she has been asked repeatedly about the nature of her marriage, about what she knew and when she knew it. Since then, she has remained silent. Until now.

Speaking up at last, Dina Matos McGreevey here recounts the details of her marriage to Jim McGreevey. What emerges is a tale of love and betrayal, of heartbreak and scandal . . . and ultimately, hope.

It all began with so much promise. Dina Matos was a responsible and civic-minded young woman who fell in love with the passion of political action. When Jim McGreevey walked into her life, he appeared to be a kind and loving man, someone with whom she could build a life based on shared ideals, a strong spiritual commitment, and a desire to make a difference in the world. Beyond their initial chemistry, Dina Matos was attracted by Jim McGreevey’s principles and his unwavering devotion to his work. She didn’t know that his life, and thus their marriage, were built on a foundation of lies; that his past was littered with casual sexual encounters in seedy bookstores and public parks; or that, by his own admission, he began an adulterous affair with another man while she was in the hospital awaiting the birth of their child. "Could I have known," she asks? "How could I have known?"

With scalding honesty, she tells of her life with the former governor, of the politics and public service that brought them together, and the lies that tore them apart.

Here is a story of a marriage that was anything but happily-ever-after, told by a strong and resilient woman who can, and finally will, speak for herself.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion; First Edition. 1 in number line edition (May 1, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1401303641
• ISBN-13: 978-1401303648
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #84,111 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in this category: (What's this?)

  #35 in

  Books > Gay & Lesbian > Biographies & Memoirs

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 41 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Brave Account, May 3, 2007

By	Karen E. Fauls-traynor "karenft" (Chittenango, New York USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Dina McGreevey has put a face on a situation in which millions of people around the world find themselves--being marrried to a gay man or woman. This book is written with honesty and grace. Dina tells the story of a woman who fell in love and was horribly deceived by a man who couldn't face who he truly was. It is an insiders look at politics and the games politicians play to get ahead--including marrying for the wrong reasons to make themselves more appealing to voters. Dina should be applauded for her bravery in telling her story and letting others know that they are not alone. Last year, her ex-husband was all over the news with the release of his book, which chronicled his journey to "authenticity", but glossed over the pain and devastation he caused to the woman who loved him. Now, it is Dina's turn to tell her side. I don't think readers will have any trouble deciding which of the two is more credible.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thank You for Writing This Book, May 8, 2007

By	NJWoman (NJ) - See all my reviews

This was an excellent book. I, too, was one of the people who wondered how this "stupid" woman could stand by the side of a man who had done what he had done to her. It is explained in the book, and it is a very satisfying and understandable explanation.

Also notable, the author does not bash her husband. Instead, she presents the facts of her husband's behavior and her experience of this behavior, and allows the reader to draw their own conclusions about her husband's character.

This is a very honest, engrossing, and well-written book.

Dina Matos McGreevey has a lot of integrity. Both in the way that she handled the scandal, and even post-scandal -- not writing a book for anything other than (perhaps) therapeutic purposes, and to set the record straight about her character and truth.

I'm glad she wrote the book, and I hope everyone will read it to learn the truth.

No one deserves to be treated the way she was treated -- and I am not even talking about the "gay" revelation. I am talking about the way she was treated throughout the marriage.

I wish Dina Matos McGreevey and Jacqueline all the best. After what they have been through, they sincerely deserve it.

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Silent Waters Run Deep, August 13, 2007

By	D. West "Bones" (Boise, Idaho United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I'm glad that Dina McGreevey decided not to remain silent. She is a brave woman who is on the path to greater things. I watched her on Oprah and thought how well spoken, kind, and loving she was even though she had undergone a gut-wrenching ordeal with ex-husband, and potential presidential candidate Jim McGreevey. We don't need to worry about McGreevey, she is a wonderful example of survival. What goes around comes around and I daresay she may not yet have gotten a husband that she can wholly love, trust, etc. but I'll bet she doesn't get involved with losers such as Jim again. And, Jim, oh yeah... His day is coming too. It hasn't even begun to arrive yet. But he'll get his and it won't be pretty. It's the simple laws of physics! Hang in there Dina, you're a great role model. Few women would have responded so lovingly to the terrible way in which you were treated.

At times, the novel was repetitious, but I did not feel that this detracted from the storyline, as some of the most outrageous conduct of Jim deserved repetition. It totally blew my mind that a husband would keep his present wife away from his ex-wife and his child, who is Dina's step-child, and one with whom she desperately wanted to have a relationship. This should have been huge a red flag! There were definitely times I wondered how Dina could be so naive, but after all is said and done, I prefer to think of her as trusting, loving,and therefore unquestioning and susceptible.

Jim's treatment of Dina reaches an all time low when, after deciding to come out, he spends his time with staff spinning his tale, instead of with Dina making certain that she's going to survive. Jim cares so little for his wife that he doesn't even spend time, after he delivers the bomb to his adoring voting public (with her by his side because he demanded her allegiance and wanted to keep the lie alive), helping her find a way through the black haze that he has created. He's so self-involved that only his issues matter and thus we watch as Dina struggles with her life (as she hoped it would be and as it turns out to be) and then she blossoms and grows into a mature, forgiving, woman with a bright future.

This story isn't about being gay or homophobic. It's about being human, or in Jim's case, inhumane. It's about using people to further your own goals and aims and how that always backfires. Jim is a boorish prig that deserves to be vilified because he has chosen to be the villain.

Good luck to Dina, I hope great things happen for you. Jim, you give guys a bad name and you can go to heck, but I suspect you're already there! I can't see how anyone could read this book without getting emotionally involved---I know it vividly touched my inner feelings of frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, despair, grief, and then all the emotions on the flip side--hope, love, forgiveness, happiness, and power!