The Coward's Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight (Paperback)

~ Tim Ursiny (Author) "Some people thrive on conflict..." (more)
Key Phrases: conflict coward, helpful mindset, conscientiousness individuals, The Coward's Guide, Exercises Self-reflection, Beach Boys (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Ursiny, a mediation coach and former practicing psychologist, readily admits that he's a "coward" when it comes to any kind of conflict. He believes that there are many people like himself who wince at the thought of having an argument or avoid confronting work colleagues. Everyone, regardless of their position at work, can learn to handle conflict more effectively. The benefits, according to Ursiny, are immense and include more self-confidence, less anger, greater self-respect and more intimacy. To help readers learn how to change the way they handle conflict, each chapter opens with a brief case study. The author then uses checklists and exercises designed to teach the reader new ways to handle conflict. Ursiny is clever and readers will recognize and immediately understand his hypothetical situations. For example, the author says that people avoid exercise by focusing on the "pain" of getting up early, taking time, or not being able to sleep later or do other things they enjoy more. The motivated person, on the other hand, focuses on how much better he or she will look and feel and the positive reinforcement that other people will provide. Particularly useful is the chapter on "Avoiding the Top Ten Mistakes Made When Dealing With People." Readers will identify with the irate man whose flight has been canceled. This is a wonderfully engaging book that should easily motivate readers to rethink their behavior and conversations both at work and at home.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description

You’re not the only one out there who hates conflict. From the corporate bully to the passive-aggressive employee to the demanding spouse, there are people in our lives who cause us frustration and anger every day. If you’re like the rest of us, you’ll avoid them at all costs.

Success coach Dr. Tim Ursiny shows us that, yes, conflict can be a good thing, and facing up to it can lead to fantastic results! The Coward’s Guide to Conflict gives strength, techniques, motivations and challenges to the people who need it most. With an open, step-by-step approach, it shows you how to prepare, maintain your integrity and work toward resolution.

Interactive exercises and examples from both the workplace and home will coach and motivate you to effectively deal with all types of conflict situations, with results that empower and really work!

--Make conflict less frightening...quickly!
--Avoid the top 10 mistakes made when dealing with upset people
--Build your knowledge, skills and confidence
--Discover the 5 communication styles we all use to face conflict

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.; 1 edition (March 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1402200552
• ISBN-13: 978-1402200557
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 7 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #44,259 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful!, November 21, 2004

By	Rolf Dobelli "getAbstract.com" (Switzerland) - See all my reviews (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This is a fine, short guide to managing conflict. Author Tim Ursiny particularly addresses those of you who are "conflict cowards," people who do not like conflict...and who does, outside of a few well-compensated litigaters? Ursiny himself is a confessed hater of conflict. He has hated it ever since he was a child and now, even though he's an executive coach and a fairly beefy guy, he still hates it. He is also a psychologist, and his style and approach have much in common with the work of other pop psychology writers, although this guide is more useful than most. Ursiny keeps the reading light by providing ample anecdotes and he invites readers to participate through several self-examination questionnaires. He provides some clearly written, easily accessible explanations of how conflicts occur and how to manage them. In fact, he defines conflict, its consequences and even its benefits so broadly that almost anyone fits the book's target audience. You got a problem with that? We doesn't and warmly recommend this entertaining, refreshing book, which - we agree - has something for almost everyone who'd rather duck than fight.

24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I really enjoyed this book!, September 21, 2003

By A Customer

I have always hated conflict. Although I have read other good books on conflict, none of them were helpful in overcoming the fear of confrontation. What I like about the "Coward's Guide" is that it helped me get to the root of my fear of conflict and gave me ideas on how to decrease it. I will say that it is not a book that you can just glance at and put aside. I had to put in the effort to do the exercises in order to really "feel" what the author was teaching. However, the pay off was worth it.

One of the most important things that I learned is that there are a lot of costs that come with avoiding conflict. The author helped me see that good things can come from healthy conflict like greater intimacy and respect.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Right on Point!, June 16, 2004

By A Customer

Ursiny uses examples to illustrate his points so well - one example looked like it came right out of my work environment - as if he was a fly on the wall! No one likes to face conflict and we are all pretty good at avoidance. This book helps one understand conflict and, most inmportantly, how to face and resolve it in an honest, respectful and EFFECTIVE way. FIVE STARS!!!!!