Stumbling Naked in the Dark: Overcoming Mistakes Men Make with Women (Paperback)

by Bradley Fenton (Author) "Guys, who taught you how to interact with women?]..." (more)
Key Phrases: Staying Onsides, Stay Onsides

Editorial Reviews

Review
"…He might have broken the code!" -- The Palm Beach Post, December 2003

"…there are some good lessons to be learned in these pages." -- Williston Pioneer Sun News, February 2004

Product Description
Stumbling Naked in the Dark: Overcoming Mistakes Men Make With Women is the revolutionary new book on male-female relationships by author Bradley Fenton. The author asserts that a majority of men repeatedly make common mistakes while interacting with women and thus unknowingly come off as unattractive. Fenton identifies these mistakes and suggests some rather unorthodox ways to overcome them. With integrity, maturity and humor, Stumbling Naked in the Dark explains once and for all why some men just don't get "it" and offers a new mindset for leading relationships in the right direction.

While most dating and relationship books have focused on understanding the differences between men and women, Stumbling Naked in the Dark focuses on the similarities between the sexes by exploring universal laws of human behavior. Relationship problems are due to the pressure created by the "aggressively flawed" role that people, and primarily men, learn to play in our culture. This leads to men exerting negative pressure and control that causes women to subconsciously withdraw and find men unattractive.

Stumbling Naked in the Dark teaches men how to alleviate the stress and pressure associated with dating so they become more relaxed and attractive to women and explores how men can focus on what makes women feel understood and comfortable, leading to their decisions of intimacy and commitment. For example, Fenton offers insights on how:

Interactions with women in today's social settings are burdened with pressure and distrust, leading to failure that creates a vicious cycle of anxiety and hopelessness.

Most men unknowingly approach relationships as a game and feel the pressure of losing if they don't get what they want.

Men mistakenly believe they have done something wrong if a woman chooses not to go out with them, creating an adversarial situation destined to fail.

Success with women is not an innate skill that only a few men possess. All men can have a relationship - it's a matter of breaking down mental blocks to attain it.

Women frequently make decisions about men based on their own anxieties and insecurities. In many cases, their availability to date has nothing to do with a specific man at all.

Letting go of a woman's decision-making - and being healthfully indifferent to the outcome of an interaction while still genuinely caring for her well-being - is the key to attracting women.

Making "No" an okay answer from women lessens pressure, adds more fun and actually leads to more "Yes" answers.

Fenton also discusses how to break through four common obstacles males encounter on the road to relationship success: Personal Warning Beliefs, Identity, Need for Approval and Tactile Needs and Energy.

By teaching men how to become more comfortable with themselves and erase preconceived notions about women, Stumbling Naked in the Dark offers a powerful framework for men who want to disengage from the typical "dating game" and be more confident, fair and intuitive in their relationships with women.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 127 pages
• Publisher: Trafford (July 6, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1412012155
• ISBN-13: 978-1412012157
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (35 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #220,273 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

45 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Advice, Scientifically-based, Well-written, May 10, 2006

By	Tiffany Rapplean "Tiffany of Intellectual Ice... (Denver, CO) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Sure, I admit I liked the title, because stumbling naked in the dark is how I've often felt when trying to date people, and even later, when trying to work through a failing romantic relationship, or failing close friendship. But as a trainer, I'm intrigued by the fact that the author--also a trainer--based this book on his company's results-oriented training programs.

As the producer of a hard and soft science and tech podcast by and for geeks, I read a lot of dating books and websites to uncover and de-mystify the best geek dating tips for my listeners. This book is the best male perspective I've read so far. It's a quick read, and offers practical advice that could be used at any stage in a relationship. I particularly like the "female scale of interest/staying off sides" formula for interacting with women (the car salesman analogy the author gives makes perfect sense), and I also found the "hug quota/tactile needs and energy" concept to be fascinating, along with the effect "tactile debt" can have on a man's handling of physical interactions such as sex. The "opening 'no' agreement" in which "no" is established as an acceptable answer is also logical. In general, this author recommends men treat women with respect, which of course I appreciate, being female and all. ;)

Thus far, I'd recommend this book above any other I've read, especially if an individual (specifically a man) wishes to read just one book. "how to succeed with women", by Ron Louis and David Copeland is also quite good (and quite long), but offers a few different perspectives and is very much oriented towards men seeking to engage women in sex as the primary motive (relationships are second, but the sexual emphasis is notable; I offer this as an observation rather than as a criticism). Fenton's book is less targeted strictly towards sex, and manages to pack a great deal of useful, scientific information into a mere 127 pages.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book On Dating, June 16, 2004

By A Customer

This is the best book on dating. I have read it over three times now and it has helped me a lot. It is hard to explain this book because it talks about scenarios that always happen over and over with women but you never really realize the significance. This book makes you aware of these important hidden make or break moments. It explains the importance of recognizing these instances and then explains that if you are confident and do the right things you're going to create attraction.

30 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Great Explanation of Men & Women's Psyche, October 24, 2005

By	Michael Palmer "www.michaelpalmer.net" (Dallas, TX United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I can see how the woman reviewer saw this as negative, but I believe if you give it an honest read and the full context of what the author is trying to convey to men, then you cannot help but come away with a fuller understanding of your own psyche as well as women's. This is not a book of manipulation of women. In fact, the author's point is to find out what the woman truly wants, and if you are able to give her that, then maybe the two of you are a good match. But just like fire, it can be used for good or evil. The one thing you will not find in this book is where to go meet women, hence 4 stars. Perhaps it really is a 5. It is a quick read and you will gain some simple yet powerful tools to help you with yourself and women.