He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (The Newly Expanded Edition) (Hardcover)

~ (Author), Liz Tuccillo (Author), Lauren Monchik (Designer) "Many women have said to me, "Greg, men run the world..." (more)
Key Phrases: breakup sex, Excuse Dear Greg

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It’s a classic single-woman scenario: you really like this guy, but he’s giving mixed messages. You make excuses, decide he’s confused, afraid of commitment. Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City—and a formerly single (now happily married) guy who knows all the excuses—provides a simple answer: he’s just not that into you. Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be. After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, "if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way." If you’re not convinced yet, by all means read this smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat little book, full of q’s and a’s covering every excuse woman has ever made to avoid admitting to herself that a man just wasn’t that smitten with her.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an alternate Hardcover edition.

From School Library Journal

Adult/High School–With a bright, breezy style, the authors highlight a list of actions that men take to demonstrate that they are "just not into you," using "Dear Greg" letters and replies, unscientific polls of men, lists reviewing the key points in each chapter, a comic glossary, and laugh-out-loud workbook assignments. Although this book is meant for the 20-plus career women who have been dating for a while, the empowering message that a woman deserves a man who truly loves her and not one that she must constantly make excuses for can't be learned too early.–Jane S. Drabkin, Chinn Park Regional Library, Woodbridge, VA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an alternate Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 208 pages
• Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment; Expanded edition (December 26, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 141694740X
• ISBN-13: 978-1416947400
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (905 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #44,535 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

708 of 769 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Overdue and universally applicable, September 24, 2004

By	Michael T. Rognlien (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Hardcover)

This book really isn't just for women, and it really isn't just about relationships. True, it focuses on empowering women to say "Hey, I'm worth more than this and I'm not going to settle" which is a wonderful thing to realize, but it really goes beyond relationships. We are conditioned to work hard (and, as an unfortunate side effect, suffer) for everything in life - jobs, material possessions, etc - and when love or money or other things we want don't come to us, it's easier emotionally to justify and/or make excuses as to why we're not getting what we feel we deserve when we want it. Whether it's the attention of a man (or woman) or a promotion at work, the power of this book is that it tells you in no uncertain terms that YOU are the only one who will suffer if you continue to cling to something that wasn't meant to be.

The authors have really stumbled on to something good here - what I took away from this book and will continue to remember is that life is too short to pine for things that aren't meant to happen. Who knows how many great things pass us by because we're too busy worrying about getting something or someone that just wasn't meant to be. Read it and weep, if you must, but then also be glad that - if you apply what you've learned and make it your mantra - it's the last time you will cry over a love or aspiration unrealized.

141 of 157 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars This is so WRONG -- what about shy guys?!?, December 15, 2005

By	Burton Kent "lifehacker" (Naperville, IL) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Hardcover)

Disclaimer - I've only looked at the first third of this book. What I did look at was ALL WRONG.

The author breezily explains to women that if a guy was interested in you, he would make a move. That's it. Every single time.

I'll let you in on a secret. Most guys are actually terrified of women... or more specifically, terrified of rejection. This is especially true if you have an ongoing relationship (whether a business relationship, same circle of friends, etc.) where he will have to "revisit" his rejection repeatedly.

For some men, asking a woman out is tantamount to a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. It makes them THAT nervous, or even MORE nervous. At least with a proposal, the guy has some idea of what answer to expect.

I used to be like this. Women would literally pull me aside and tell me what a great guy I am. I didn't have confidence in my attractiveness, so I didn't realize they were actually telling me they LIKED me. A LOT. I really did think they were telling me they really dig me as a friend.

As a result -- I never did anything.

(AAAAAAUGGGGHHHHH!!!!)

I don't have this problem anymore. But... I definitely do see this in a lot of guys. Perhaps the world the author lives in is full of confident guys. That's why I give this 2 stars instead of 1... I'm giving him a slight benefit of the doubt.

I'm not done yet though ... here's an added twist...

The more a guy likes you (I'm talking to the women reading this), in some cases he may actually be less likely to ask you out. He values you too much to risk messing things up.

So... this book is WRONG in the majority of cases, in my experience. Buy a flirting book instead, to give him signals so he'll have some degree of confidence he won't be rejected. That's what flirting is for.

My advice -- find out a little bit about his dating experience. If he hasn't had many girlfriends, he's shy. If he HAS had many girlfriends, then MAYBE this book will apply.

161 of 181 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars watch out ladies, November 24, 2004

By	Luke N. Zankich (seattle, wa) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Hardcover)

Watch out ladies. As a man, I know why and how men treat women. We dont like to move as 'fast' as women do emotionally and this can easily be confused with 'he's just not that into me'. The only men who go head first into a relationship with the overwhelming 'I am so into you' are controlling psychopaths. I know some of these men and that is how they are, and their ladies love it at first, only to find out down the road that he is a jealous, and controlling man. NORMAL men know that nice guys finish last, and that women respond with more 'I'm so into you' towards us when we hold back. Just because he doesnt show he is extremely into you now doesnt mean he isnt, or wont show it in the future.