Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilc (Hardcover)

~ (Author), Colin Quinn (Foreword)
Key Phrases: Monster Rain, Rich Vos, L'il Kinney (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Jim Norton is a pervert

in the truest sense of the word. The physical equivalent of a tall slug, he pays top dollar for massages with happy endings and is fascinated by shitty sitcoms and fat girls. He is also, at times, racially offensive and morally repugnant. He spares no one in his comedy -- least of all himself.

Now, in this outrageous, blisteringly funny collection of essays, Norton tackles the topics that are near and dear to his heart: from public events like the legendary Voyeur Bus incident on the Opie and Anthony Show, which culminated in all involved being taken to jail, or seeking a hug from his childhood idol Gene Simmons, to deeply private moments, including a teenage Jim's embarrassing poetry-writing attempts while in rehab, and his inexpensive sexual experience with an unwashed MILF (a Monolith I'd Like to Forget). His stories are raw, searingly honest in their attention to detail, and most of all, hilarious.

Filled with personal photos and nearly fifty candid and uncompromising essays, Happy Endings is one of a kind...and probably best read on an empty stomach. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

About the Author

Jim Norton is an official member of CBS and XM satellite radio's Opie and Anthony Show and is best known for his extremely raunchy brand of humor. He was a regular on both seasons of Comedy Central's Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, played the caustic Rich on HBO's Lucky Louie, and has starred in his own HBO comedy specials. He has also cohosted the AVN awards twice, and performed his stand-up all over the country, including on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Late Night with David Letterman, and lives in New York City.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment (July 1, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416950222
• ISBN-13: 978-1416950226
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.7 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (172 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #311,853 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Informative, insightful... whoops, wrong book!, July 8, 2007

By	J. L. Buettner "Bit" (Massachusetts) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Amazon Verified Purchase

"Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch" delves into the deepest, darkest nooks and crannies of little Jimmy's mind. He gives insightful information regarding negotiating the balloon knot while avoiding butterscotch pudding. This is must-read material for closet pantie sniffers everywhere. This book will surely be found under mattresses around the world.

Run right out and steal a copy as soon as you can. I was lucky enough to be given a copy by Jimmy's nephew Franko from MyTailerPark dot com. Jimmy had given it to Nansee as partial payment for a logging job that she did for him. Reading this will surely relieve your own log jam!

This book is best read while sipping golden treats right from the faucet.

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all, July 8, 2007

By	Kris72663 "Kris" (Long Island, NY) - See all my reviews

Jim gives a very stern warning at the beginning of the book and it's something that really needs to be adhered to. If you are a fan of the Opie & Anthony Show & of L'il Jim Norton or just a fan of edgy self-deprecating humor, you'll love this book. I've been Ell-O-Elling from the warning on. If you're a stick in the mud, you should read this as well - you might actually do something you haven't done in awhile - laugh without worrying about your face breaking. MEOW

22 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What a Fancy Man!, July 4, 2007

By	David Auty "Eric logan" (Palm Beach) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I listen to the Ramone and Frunkkkkkis show all the time and when this gentleman comes on the air I always have a good laugh! One time when discussing eating cake Jim Norton said: "Moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips!" And my chums and I all had a nice chuckle. He is also the inventor of "Cat noise thurdseey's" (Not to be confuseed with phone call Thursday's) in which listeners phone the show and give their best cat noise impersonation! It's swell! James was also heckling a hooker from his car once and before he could get away, she took off his glasses and broke them. Jimmy, nearly blind, was forced to consult a policeman for help. Also, Steve from Yellowstone never sounded so funny as when he told Marge from the "Little Animal Shelter" to clutch her chest and fall face first into a litter box!

What a great read while your waiting for your warsh to finish!