The Femdom Experience (Paperback)

by Elise Sutton (Author)
Key Phrases: leather culture, cuckolding experience, female domination lifestyle, December Society, Red Queen, The Dominatrix (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
An experience is the process of personally participating in an activity, event or lifestyle. Fantasy does not always translate over to reality because reality must contend with the bodily limitations of the physical world, whereas fantasy enjoys the unlimited boundaries of the imagination. Nevertheless, fantasy is often the product of reality. For one person's fantasy is another person's reality. Notable FemDom author Elise Sutton examines the Female Domination lifestyle by taking the reader into the personal relationships and sexual practices of everyday people who live astonishing secret lives. Elise adds her insight and commentary as she examines what constitutes a successful FemDom relationship.

Product Details

• Paperback: 318 pages
• Publisher: LULU (December 17, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1430304642
• ISBN-13: 978-1430304647
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #310,884 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Sutton does it again with another erotic yet educational tome, January 25, 2007

By	John (Maryland) - See all my reviews

As much as I enjoyed her first book, "Female Domination", it is my opinion that Elise Sutton has exceeded herself with "The FemDom Experience".

The book consists of three sections. The first section is dedicated to the professional Dominatrix. Ms Sutton interviews professional Mistresses and the men who frequent their establishments. She also covers the history of the Dominatrix from the `Houses of Discipline' in London in the 1800's to the modern day `Houses of Domination' in places like New York City.

The middle section is all about female domination relationships. Some of the topics discussed are: dating, seeking a FemDom partner, building a successful female domination marriage, and the 24/7 FemDom relationship. Sutton's advice and observations are always thoughtful and perceptive. I like how she uses examples of real people to demonstrate concepts and to support her views.

The third section is dedicated to FemDom groups. This book is an accolade to some of the older groups that are no longer in existence like the 'Red Queen Society' and the `Orb and Scepter'. This book also promotes some of the newer groups such as `ClubFEM'.

The book also contains two Appendixes. The first is a sample of a FemDom Marriage Contract. The second is a resource list much like the one in her first book, only updated to reflect new support groups, new books, new websites and new fetish stores.

The book is tremendous. I hope she writes another one.

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another look at the growing phenomenon of Female Domination, September 21, 2007

By	Wayne C. Rogers (Las Vegas, Nevada United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Elise Sutton is back with a sequel to her underground bestseller, Female Domination: An exploration of the male desire for Loving Female Authority. Her new non-fiction book is titled, The FemDom Experience, and it's a collection of personal stories from people who have participated and lived the Female Domination lifestyle as a reality. The book is divided into three sections that deal with the professional dominatrix, FemDom relationships, and FemDom groups.

First, however, are a preface and introduction that delve into the growing phenomenon of Female Domination and its affect on society. There can be no doubt that the lifestyle of Female Domination is attracting more and more people to it. This is a growing trend that cannot be denied. A large part of this is due to the Internet, which enables submissive men and dominant women to meet by the hundreds on websites and in chat rooms. What had originally started as a simple male fantasy to be dominated and punished by a beautiful, yet stern woman, has developed a life of it own as more females are beginning to see the advantages of this type of relationship and seek to implement them into their own particular lives. Certainly, the younger generation of women in their late teens and early twenties are taking to it more readily than the older, more traditional female. All one has to do is check the personal ads in Craigslist, and on Alt.com and Collarme.com to see this for yourself. Like the woman's movement for emancipation at the turn of the 20th Century, this new trend is not going away. Though the data is out on whether or not a FemDom relationship is any more successful than a traditional one, the general consensus amongst people in this unique lifestyle is that it most definitely is. Once a man gives up his desire to be in charge of the relationship and begins to devote his life to making sure that his wife is happy and fulfilled, she then seeks to turn his fantasies into reality and to make him happy and fulfilled as well. It's a win-win situation for both parties, rather than a constant battle to determine who's in charge.

The first section of Ms. Sutton's book deals with the birth of the Dominatrix and the influence she has had on the submissive nature of men in general and the woman's inner desire to dominate. Ms. Sutton discusses the early professional Dominatrix of 19th Century England and how she was born out of men's sexual fantasies and the woman's necessity for financial survival. Several of the early professionals who specialized in hard corporal punishment are discussed, including the famous Mrs. Berkley and her infamous whipping bench. Ms. Sutton then moves on to the United States in the 1960s when the Dutch-born Monique von Cleef opened her legendary "House of Pain" in New Jersey, catering to an elite clientele. I remember seeing her picture in the national tabloids during her very public trail when I was a teenager. It was my first introduction to a leather-clad female and made a deep impression on me. I still haven't recovered! Moving on, Ms. Sutton discusses Pro Doms from the nineties such as Eva Norvind (a.k.a Ava Taurel), Mistress Elektra Skye, Madame Ingrid, and Mistress Heather. Following that are the personal experiences of several submissive men who have used the services of a professional Dominatrix. As all of them quickly discovered, the fantasy of being whipped by a dominant woman is quite different from the reality of having your bottom relentlessly caned. It hurts! Yet, the urge to be dominated is so strong that the men often return to the Dominatrix to have this inner need fulfilled. Eventually, if the submissive is lucky, this will lead him to look for a life partner that he can serve on a daily basis and who will be interested in exploring his desire to be dominated.

The next section of The FemDom Experience deals with relationships and how submissive men can go about introducing their hidden desires to the women in their life. It starts off with dating and how important it is to up front and honest about one's submissive desires. As Ms. Sutton writes--"It's far better to connect and bond on openness and reality than on a false persona. The man who is rejected by a woman for being honest is better off than the man who is accepted based on a false pretense. Rejection is not failure, but rather a step closer to success in finding a woman who shares your desires for a FemDom relationship." This leads to chapters on the FemDom marriage and the 24/7 FemDom experience. It's clear that in a marriage based on the FemDom lifestyle, "a husband who will yield to his wife's authority and submit to her is very likely to be a very productive male who fulfills his life responsibilities." A dominant woman never wants to break her man, but rather to teach him about her needs and to act as a guide to a more harmonious relationship. Marriage contracts are listed in the back of the book for both the submissive husband and the dominant wife. There's also an excellent chapter on the "cuckolding" experience inside a FemDom marriage. Cuckolding (when the dominant wife is free to take lovers, while the submissive husband remains monogamous and usually in chastity) seems to be gaining in popularity within the FemDom relationship. A large number of submissive men fantasize about their wife or girlfriend having sexual intercourse with other males and will usually encourage them to do so. Once the wife has tasted the freedom of having a lover with her husband's full knowledge, there's generally no going back. A man certainly has to be careful about what he wishes for. Women also use the cuckold experience to make their men more submissive in nature, and it works in ways that a traditional wife could never understand.

The final section deals with different Femdom groups that have sprung up over the years and their affect in spreading the advantages of the lifestyle. Ms. Sutton discusses the Red Queen Society, The Orb & the Scepter, the Club Fem group, the Tea-Party group, the May/December group, the Boy-toy group, and a few others. The reader is given the history of these individual groups, along with their successes and failures in bringing people together.

The Femdom Experience by Elise Sutton is an invaluable tool in understanding the new shift in our society toward relationships in which the female is in charge and the male is submissive, putting her needs above his own. There's no mistaking the sexual aspects of this relationship and the use of BDSM and fetishes in making it work. Ms. Sutton believes that our society is gradually returning to the old ways in which a man treated his lady as a Goddess, while she in turn dominated him with a loving hand. Even the harshest critics can't argue the fact that FemDom relationships have gained in popularity over the last two decades. References to Female Domination can be found in countless movies, TV shows, books, articles, Internet websites, the types of clothes that women wear, and the increase in professional Dominatrixes around the country. This is something that can no longer be hidden behind closed doors. As women become more independent, their desire for more control in a relationship grows stronger. The female species has always had sexual control over the male, but now large numbers of women are taking it a step further and using this ability to control the entire relationship. Many people who presently live this lifestyle see Female Domination as the norm in the distance future. We're not talking five or ten years from now, but rather fifty to a hundred years. With women in control, we might finally create a better world to live in with no hunger or war or homelessness, and where every child receives an education and there's health care for everyone, and we finally solve the problems of global warming. Men have done a terrible job of running the world and if we want to survive to see the 22nd Century, it's going to take the firm, but loving hand of the female to do it.

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Engrossing and Convincing, February 7, 2007

By	J. B. - See all my reviews

Elise Sutton takes us back into the world of Female Domination, a world where man's passion makes contact with female sexual power; a world where love and punishment amalgamate to form a unified bond.

A good book to me is one which gets you so engrossed that you just forget about the outside world for a couple of hours and that is what this book did to me. The value of Sutton's newest book resides in its ability to probe and explore an often misunderstood expression of human sexuality. Men who believe in female domination find liberation in submission. Sutton reveals the difference between the male fantasy of female domination and a realistic lifestyle of submitting to the female gender.

"The FemDom Experience" is separated into three sections; the professional experience where a man submits to a Dominatrix; the relationship experience where a man submits to his wife or significant other; and the group experience where a man submits to an assemblage of women in a club or organization. The summation of the three sections is an absorbing journey into the real world of female domination as it is practiced in the United States and Europe.

I am impressed with the depth of insight Sutton offers to her research and her involvement in the subject matter. She makes a very clear and convincing argument (even if I was biased to believe it in the first place) that a female-led relationship that includes D&S sexual practices is healthy and advantageous.