Tug of War: A Judge's Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles, and the Bitter Realities of Family Court (Paperback)

~ (Author)
Key Phrases: family law lawyer, family court litigants, support payor, North America (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Provides a rare glimpse of what a sitting judge thinks about the good, the bad and the ugly realities of the family law court system . . . [and] provide[s] better guidance to clients, especially the final chapter that is full of heartfelt and wise advice."  —The Lawyers Weekly

"Every lawyer should provide clients with a copy of Tug of War and encourage them to read it before proceeding with their case."  —Anu Osborne, The Canadian Bar Association

Product Description

Explaining complex family law concepts and procedures in a jargon-free style, this resource includes detailed information on how family court works, offers easily understandable case examples, and describes alternatives to litigation that are designed to help prevent families with children from entering the legal system to resolve disputes. Exploring subjects that apply to all parties involved in resolving separation, divorce, and custody conflicts—judges, lawyers, mediators, parenting coaches, psychologists, family counselors, and social workers—this reference demystifies the role of lawyers and judges, debunks the myth that parents can represent themselves in court, and examines each parent’s responsibility to ensure that post-separation conflicts are resolved with minimal emotional stress to children. 

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Product Details

• Paperback: 200 pages
• Publisher: Ecw Press (January 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1550228706
• ISBN-13: 978-1550228700
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #717,133 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Worth the Read!, April 1, 2009

By	RM (USA) - See all my reviews

This book is so unique (the first written by a sitting judge) and readable that I finished it in one sitting. It's written for the general public and speaks primarily to people who need to resolve issues relating to custody and support of their children. The judge makes a plea to parents to use the family court as a last resort and explains alternatives to litigation, like mediation. He also provides a thorough explanation of how the family courts and laws operate, including how they intersect with the criminal justice system. But, the book really shines when the judge shares what he has seen in his courtroom during his 14 year career on the bench. Using real life anecdotes, sprinkled with empathy and humor, Judge Brownstone teaches us all about the impacts of separation and divorce on children. Read this book to educate yourself and give it to someone you know who could benefit from Judge Brownstone's insight.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Tug Of War, March 31, 2009

By	Don S. Destonis "DD" (Canada) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Pedestrian, condescending, over rated and over hype...it fails to address how the Family Law Act is failing. Blameworthy parties are understated or excused! Lets hear of inept lawyers and judges; cases of misconduct and malpractice; failure of law societies and biases; poor outdated support systems eg records; inept case process coordination/mananagmt between eg: LAO and courts; inequity and risk associated with LAO eg: when costs of justice ie BCMs, can and do trump or torque justice; the unhealthy 'familiarity' in many areas between staff, mediators, lawyers etc.ie: Inadequate independent internal oversight.
Most important the over riding evidence that the settlement process is not working and that systemic deficiencies give rise to bias, power imbalances, and expediency in outcomes...
The system is failing and the Family Law Act as with the LAO Corp which often gets called in, needs a thorough review and reform.
Incidences of "Self representation" are symptomatic of deeper broader problem.
This book focuses on getting a lawyer and on blaming short comings on clients' ..which i felt was an obvious dodge spiced with too many exclamations!!!!
This reader has seen enough first hand and remains unconvinced by the book..I am glad I read it because it obliquely confirms for lay persons that something is systemically off in the family law system in Ontario at least. I'd like to read the authors next book if he writes one which provokes harsher realism and candor and critical analysis of the system in detail and with more case examples; and what can be done to fix it .

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read, June 12, 2009

By	FM (Long Island, NY USA) - See all my reviews

Tug of War is a must read for parents entering the sad and unpredictable phase of life you never thought would be your reality...divorce and child custody issues. We don't enter parenthood thinking that one day we will have to make custody decisions regarding our children. Mr. Justice Harvey Brownstone approaches the subject with great knowledge and real life experiences he witnesses each day in his courtroom. Each aspect of this procedure is explained in detail and most importantly, in easy to understand text. The author pays careful attention to the fact that people from all walks of life may be turning to his book for guidance. It certainly provides much food for thought and hopefully alternatives for parents in this situation. The bottom line...it's not about you, it's about your children. Some examples of events that have occurred in Justice Brownstone's courtroom are chilling when you remember these are innocent children's lives being discussed. As an educator, I have witnessed all too often, parents who can't separate their issues and their children's education issues at a parent conference. Too many times I've had to referee "the games" parents play when it comes to their children. I only wish I had copies of "Tug of War" to give them as their "homework assignment"! This is a book that should become part of every university's curriculum, especially in courses focusing on family and education careers. I personally have given copies to people I know who are in this precarious situation. Thank you Mr. Justice Harvey Brownstone for tackling this most important and current subject.