Families Where Grace Is in Place (Paperback)

by Jeff VanVonderen (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Building a Grace-Filled Marriage and Raising Creative, Contented, Capable Children Without Legalism or Manipulation.

Christian parents want to do things right. They put their best efforts toward having a Christian marriage and raising Christian kids. But many end up tired, discouraged and feeling like failures. Why is that?

From both his professional and personal experience, Jeff VanVonderen shows that the primary cause comes when Christian husbands, wives and parents focus on a spouse or child's behavior, then set out to apply pressure, make rules and control attitudes and responses. When people spend their lives trying to transform or "fix" their spouses and their kids, the natural result is exhaustion, depression and the hopeless sense of wanting to bail out of it all.

Here is a message about how God's grace can transform relationships within a marriage and family. The first step is learning the simple difference between God's job and ours. God's part is to fix and change. Our responsibility is to depend on the Holy Spirit, serve our families and help to equip them to be all they can be. Healthy relationships between husband and wife, between parents and children, are possible only when the filter of God's grace is placed over the processes of marriage and parenting. The Christian family's ultimate goals of harmony, obedience and full potential can be arrived at without using legalistic and manipulative methods.

About the Author
Jeff VanVonderen is an internationally known speaker on addictions and church and family wellness. He has worked as a counselor in both residential and outpatient treatment settings, as well as in the religious community, taught at the college level, and is the author of several books including Good News for the Chemically Dependent and Those Who Love Them. He is one of the featured interventionists on the A & E documentary series Intervention and has appeared on Oprah, The Today Show and Larry King Live. He makes his home in California.

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Bethany House (November 1, 1992)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1556612664
• ISBN-13: 978-1556612664
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #28,958 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars an excellent look at what it means to really live in grace, April 19, 1999

By	jenlemen "takoma mama" (Takoma Park, Maryland) - See all my reviews

This book is an absolute must read if you privately wonder if God is more concerned with your behavior than the needs of your heart. Vanvonderen explains why we will never feel fulfillment or joy simply by conforming to Christian standards. Using the Bible as the basis of his discussion, he reveals a God who wants to meet our deepest needs and transform us from the inside out. Vanvonderen shifts the focus from outward performance to the "fight of faith" in our marriages and our family life--defining the fight as the struggle to believe that Jesus can truly fill us when we are tempted to find our significance in people or things. Much of the book is devoted to parenting, and Vanvonderen shares honestly about his own process of becoming a grace-full parent. Without shaming or guilting, this book helped me reconsider what it means to really live a free and honest life. This practical and insightful discussion of grace is one you won't want to miss.

21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book reminded me of what God is really all about!, April 2, 2000

By	Tanja L. Edwards "Tanja L. Edwards" (Norman, OK USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I bought this book at a point when I was frustrated and at the end of my rope as a parent. This book was a God-send. Now, the challenge will be to work on ways I can change my discipline style from one of controling behaviors to controling environment and let my kids choose their behavior (and the consequences thereof). But at least I know that God loves me, and loves my family, no matter what. Thank you!

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Are you ready for a real change?, April 5, 2001

By	Davina Lock (Beavercreek, OH USA) - See all my reviews

This is an outstanding book. Now I really know what a shame-based family is. OUCH! But I also now know how I can change to make my life better. To become more gracious in my relationships. It was so good, I ran a workshop at our church to share the excellent information to others. No one can afford to spray shame on our spouse and children. This may just be what you are looking for if you are READY TO CHANGE.