An Adult Child's Guide to What's 'Normal' (Paperback)

~ John C. Friel Ph.D. (Author), Linda D. Friel M.A. (Author) "Based on the comments and letters we have received over the past two years about our first book, one of the most powerful things we..." (more)
Key Phrases: functional people, Brown Bear, Victim Role, The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

A practical guide to begin dealing with the pain and trauma of being raised in a dysfunctional family. Your parents may not have been able to teach you lifeskills but it is not too late to learn them now. This book will help the reader to learn how to respond to the challenges, problems and traps that they are faced with daily.

About the Author

John Friel, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in St. Paul, Minnesota; Director of the St. Paul / Minneapolis Clearlife / Lifeworks Clinic, an intensive, short-term treatment program for Adult Children, Co-dependency, Addiction and compulsivity issues; and adjunct Associate Professor of Psychology at St. Mary's College Graduate Center in Minneapolis.

Linda Friel is known throughout the U.S., Canada, England, and Ireland for her therapeutic and training expertise in the areas of family systems, survivors of unhealthy childhoods, depression, anxiety, addictions and personality disorders. She is cofounder and national director of the ClearLife/Lifeworks Clinic, which is a special four-day therapy program to help people move beyond the painful patterns of childhood shortages.

Product Details

• Paperback: 200 pages
• Publisher: HCI (September 1, 1990)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1558740902
• ISBN-13: 978-1558740907
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #25,209 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

198 of 202 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars My new ACA Bible, April 20, 2001

By	"ginazone" (Glens Falls, NY United States) - See all my reviews

Whoever said it was too cookbook hasn't appreciated the the value of having a thorough one at hand. I loved the Friel's approach. It is a bit harder on the ego than the Woititz ACOA book but this one includes ALL dysfunctions, and I know even after years in recovery I will still find valuable resources in this book to guide me along my bumpy journey. As one who has NO idea what is normal, yet somehow manages to function at the basic level in society, I definitely appreciated the simple yet thorough approach used here.

This book isn't another "blame the parents--give you an excuse" soother. It requires that we take responsibility for our adult lives, recovery, happiness, misery, relationships, dysfunctional patterns & our future. This book shows me exactly what healthy (they don't believe in the statistical normal, to them normal means emotionally healthy, which is a far more useful definition of the ambiguous term "normal" anyway) living means, looks-smells-tastes-feels like! I can use this book as a check-up to see if I'm on the right track and if not, follow the suggestions or get further help.

Most of all this book helped me to recognize that recovery isn't an overnight process, can't be done alone in isolation, that I'm human and mistakes are actually a GOOD and WELCOME experience and do NOT have anything whatsoever to do with my self-worth. This book even includes several chapters on how to respond to con artists, abusers & generally rude, mean or unhealthy people. How to deal with zingers, how to set healthy boundaries & protect ourselves & our healthy boundaries, I could go on for pages praising this book.

I've bought numerous other self-help books & this one was the best. The authors do suggest waiting until one has 2+ years of recovery before tackling this book. To hell with that. Read it now, and every step of the way on your journey. Start feeling better about YOU & your life right NOW, today. Good luck on your journey, happy discoveries to you.

53 of 54 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars EXCELLENT resource!, January 25, 2001

By	L. Richardson "MadMumbler" (SW Florida) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book has been a Godsend! I've read it several times and am now using it in a bookstudy group for an e-mail group I run for people recovering from codependent relationships to sexual addicts. You might not think there was anything "wrong" with your family of origin, but this will help you pinpoint some of the reasons why you may make the bad choices you do in your life, what's healthy and "normal," and steps you can take to learn how to make healthy choices for yourself. Highly recommended! Very good, solid advice delivered in an easy-to-read format, not boring, not "clinical," but written for a wide audience yet not preachy or insulting. Great book!

38 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great book for providing practical behavioural tips, August 22, 1996

By A Customer

This book is the best I have yet found in dealing with practical answers for adult children of dysfunctional families. Often we struggle with the emptiness between identifying our unhealthy behaviour and enacting healthy behaviour. This book helps begin filling the space with some answers.