Bradshaw On: The Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem (Paperback)

by John Bradshaw (Author) "The last 45 years have ushered in a new awareness about the impact of families on the formation of solid self-esteem..." (more)
Key Phrases: compulsive families, poisonous pedagogy, sexualized rage, Alice Miller, The Persecuted, Erik Erikson (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal
Bradshaw (Family Secrets, LJ 1/95), a well-known speaker and author on such topics as addiction, recovery, and spirituality, has released a revised version of John Bradshaw: On Family, which first accompanied his 1984 television series. In this edition, he speaks out on the need for democracy within the family, as opposed to a patriarchal model of family relations. Throughout, Bradshaw refers to earlier models of child rearing as "poisonous pedagogy," and he is deeply committed to changing parenting within today's families and helping adults damaged by the parenting they received to rebuild their self-esteem. He uses many of the techniques of Adult Children of Alcoholics and similar groups in helping the reader identify problems and repair damage. Earlier editions of this book have sold more than a million copies, so public libraries will certainly have a demand for this title.
Kay L. Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills., Md.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description
Eight years after the initial publication of Bradshaw on the Family, John Bradshaw revisits his seminal work on the dynamics of families. In this updated edition, Bradshaw moves beyond the facts on emotionally impaired families and breaks new ground, showing how families can heal themselves and, at the same time, heal the world in which they live. Extensive national radio tour.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 230 pages
• Publisher: HCI; Revised edition (April 1, 1990)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1558744274
• ISBN-13: 978-1558744271
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #15,870 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #63 in	Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Sociology > Culture
  #86 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help > Self-Esteem
  #100 in	Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Sociology > Marriage & Family

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You Can Learn to Love Yourself!, September 3, 2004

By	Skyy Mckendry "OpenMindOpenHeart" (Utah) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book saved my life! After years of counseling with therapists who were just counter-transferring their own unresolved issues onto me, Bradshaw helped me see the roots of my "mental illness" were from my upbringing in a patriarchal, totalitarian, authoritarin, rigid family & religious system. I was always made to feel by these systems that there was something defective about ME when, in actuallity, THEY were highly dysfunctional. In turn, that led me to seek therapy by therapists indoctrinated in these same systems. After realizing that going to my church for counseling was actually the antithesis of psycological & spiritual growth, I discovered the tools in Bradshaw's important work to heal myself. As a theologian, Bradshaw beautifully discerns the difference between spirituality & religion - that the more religious a person is, the less spiritual they are. That mature, spiritual people accept others just as they are & that religious people & systems narcissistically strive to create cookie-cutter people who act, think & believe that same way they do. I've come to the conclusion that every therapist I hired chose counseling as a way to avoid looking at their own issues. Receiving a different diagnosis from each therapist proves this to me. This comes without blame directed toward my primary caregivers as I realize that they were "mystified" by the same family & religious systems. I will never again look outside myself for approval. I honestly feel that Bradshaw's work (and the other psychologists he gives praise & credit to) is the most profound psychological & spiritual work of the 20th century. If you read this amazing book your life will never be the same. You will be unable to live your life the way you always have & it will change the way you see yourself & others forever. For the first time, I have made real, effective, positive changes in my life. My relationships are healthy & nurturing. I have self-esteem - something I thought was impossible. When friends & family comment on the amazing changes I've made in my life & ask how I did it, I don't say a thing. I just hand them a copy of this book...

34 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Book (good in parts) about The Family as an emotional SYSTEM, September 23, 2003

By	Christopher Hefele (Lawrenceville, NJ United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The central idea of Bradshaw's book is an interesting one: that in recent decades, psychological research has begun to focus on seeing the family as an emotional system, and that one can't just study an individual's psychological difficulties without seeing his or her role in the family & the family's interactions. Families each have their own unique culture which creates an emotional environment that children learn from & absorb. People growing up in healthy families become mature healthy people, who have their own identity & have a healthy separation from their family; they have learned that they are free to feel what they feel and express it even if it goes against the family "script," roles, or views. If there are disagreements, then people fight fairly, with nobody is trying to manipulate each other or use each other to satisfy unmet emotional needs.

Bradshaw then looks at the dynamics in dysfunctional families. He examines, in turn, families with alcoholics, families who are physically or emotionally abusive, and those that are co-dependent. These families may have problems with enmeshment, guilt, control, shame, family secrets, continuous fighting or no fighting because "wrong" emotions are forbidden. He highlights the fact that dysfunctional families often have dysfunctional kids, who then seek out, find, and marry other dysfunctional people (since they act in a familiar, though dysfunctional, way). In this way, certain family problems such as alcoholism, violence, and so on can be handed down across generations. Because of this, one should examine one's problems in the context of one's family, and always look for the "problem behind the problem" (i.e. ask what drives one to drink? Rather than just address alcoholism as an addiction). Bradshaw goes on to give a 12-step plan for recovery to escape this pattern. The 12-step program he outlines mimics the one that Alcoholics Anonymous uses (Bradshaw is himself a recovering alcoholic).

Overall, I found the book to have several pluses and minuses. On the plus side, I thoroughly enjoyed the first third of the book, which laid out the main idea that the family must be understood as a system. The rest of the book amplifies and repeats the ideas in the first third, then goes into detail about the dynamics in various dysfunctional families & recovery. These details seemed to be somewhat similar, redundant, and somewhat obvious, though they will probably resonate with those stuck in those particular situations. Next, one slightly annoying technique that Bradshaw uses is that he often spells out a phrase, then use each letter in that phrase to write a paragraph about a related idea (for example, F.A.M.I.L.Y => F=Feedback loops are important...; A=Autonomy is key...; M=Marriage is a chief Component of families....etc.). Also, Bradshaw seems to emphasize that "shame" is the root cause of almost every problem he describes; I thought that this oversimplifies the issues involved. Finally, the book seems (and is, I suppose) geared towards a mass audience, so it's not a deep psychological text and at times it seems to have some "pop psychology" elements. But as I said before, I thought the first third of the book was good & worth reading, since it covers the main ideas. The rest of the book, about recovery & specific situations of abuse, can be skimmed or read in depth if one particular family situation applies to you.

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A real eye-opener, May 24, 1999

By A Customer

This books has been incredibly helpful for me, an adult child of an alcoholic. I read it several years ago when a friend told me that my Dad was an alcoholic. My family always denied the truth, but after reading this book, I could no longer pretend that all was well in my family of origin. This book is very insightful and describes the intricacies of the relationships that exist in both functional and dysfunctional families. It's a great first step in discovering the underlying motivations for compulsive/obsessive behaviors that many of us exhibit.