The Cult of the Born-Again Virgin: The New Sexual Revolution (Paperback)

~ (Author) "Some woman's huge breasts are about to pop right out of her pink sequined dress..." (more)
Key Phrases: United States, Wendy Shalit, Ashley Montagu (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The concept is not a new one: Eve practiced celibacy until the snake tempted her into trading the Garden of Eden for sexual delights; Queen Elizabeth I held on to her virginity as if her kingdom depended on it. All well and good in more repressed times, but is celibacy a reasonable lifestyle choice for women of the sexually liberated 21st century? It may seem like a hard sell, but Keller, a former newspaper and magazine journalist, offers compelling reasons for women to take a break from sexual relations. Calling upon her own experiences and those of women across the country who have not found contentment or joy in their relationships, she details how both short-term and permanent abstinence commonly lead to new confidence and self-esteem. Contending that "tak[ing] sex off one's activity list and put[ting] it on the list of what is revered" enhances one's sense of personal power, control over one's sexuality and the ability to focus on goals (including attracting a better mate)--and also allows more time for nurturing oneself, developing one's spirituality and improving one's health and finances--Keller may overstate the potential benefits. Still, most people experience times when concentrating on these areas while putting sex aside would be a smart move. Although becoming a BAV may not appeal to most women at first, reading this apparently radical but well-argued book may spur many to rethink their initial response. (Feb.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description

This groundbreaking book recounts a phenomenon that is sweeping the nation among single women: choosing abstinence or celibacy. The reasons for this choice varies from woman to woman--from abandoning the treadmill of dating and relationships, to focusing on a career or lifelong dream, to returning to core values, to exploring spirituality more deeply, to achieving a sense of inner balance. Whatever the reason, the choice inevitably results in her taking better care of herself and reclaiming her innate personal power.

The author interviewed a number of single women, all under the age of forty-five, attractive and intelligent, and, for the most part, highly educated and particularly successful in their individual careers. Instead of expressing bitterness, loneliness or despair, these "Born-Again Virgins" (as the author has termed them) embody and exude personal power, confidence, fulfillment, contentment and joy. While this book is not about not having sex, it is about showing readers that they have the right to choose whether or not to have sex, that they have the right to choose to abstain for a day, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime--and that they are not alone in exercising this right.

This book will show readers why becoming "Born-Again Virgins" is the right choice for so many single women. Whether they initially choose abstinence in response to STDs and AIDS or to the low value often placed on marriage and monogamy, as a result of the choice, these women find themselves healing the residual pain of past issues and discovering what brings them true fulfillment and inner peace.

The Cult of the Born-Again Virgin will provide countless readers with the support and encouragement to make a life-affirming choice that will permanently transform their lives and themselves--for the better. Through firsthand accounts of real-life "Born-Again Virgins," readers will learn the events that acted as catalysts for choosing abstinence, the repercussions of the choice, the effects on self-esteem, various ways to actually deal with abstinence or celibacy on a daily basis, the effects on relationships and how to handle resuming sexual activity.

This candid, intimate, sometimes funny, sometimes poignant book will teach all readers how to reclaim their souls by reclaiming their bodies. It is a book for all single-women readers and it will become a treasured source of validation, support, encouragement and comfort to them along their journeys of self-awareness, discovery and transformation.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 273 pages
• Publisher: Health Communications (September 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 155874696X
• ISBN-13: 978-1558746961
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #510,647 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hate the Title Love the Book, October 7, 2000

By	MotherLodeBeth "MotherLodeBeth" (Sierras of California) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)

As the Publisher notes: "The Born Again Virgins are part of a movement of single thought happening across the culture. In response to the influences on generations of women since the Feminist Revolution, this book represents a return to balance and a chance to make it just as socially acceptable for a woman to say No as there is pressure to say Yes to sexual behavior before she's comfortable."

Balance and acceptance for those who say no before one is comfortable are they key words. I actually read a snotty review of this book in the November 2000 PLAYBOY and it perked my interest as I had read one of the other books they mocked SENSUAL CELIBACY and could see they missed that authors message, so thought they may have done the same with this book The Cult Of The Born Again Virgin. And alas I was right. They failed to mention the women Ms Keller spoke to were all very very well educated and successful and GASP had a mind of their own. Or that she simply challenge society to look beyond their penis and vagina and try thinking with their brain.

Now I will say this...I HATE the title, since born again denotes christian and there are many many of us who come from nonchristian backgrounds i.e. Jewish, Buddhist, Agnostic etc. Having said that it is an excellent book and PLAYBOY once again missed the whole concept that some people have brains and use them and do not see SEX as the end all in life. And are liberal in many many ways!

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Right on the Mark!, December 28, 2000

By A Customer

Maybe this book hit at just the right time. Maybe it's that I admire this woman's ability to clearly, calmly & courageously challenge the norm of sexuality in today's dating world (= meet someone, go out a few times, seems to be something special - why wait?) While the tone is sometimes a bit overzealous & repetitious, the author hits many "uh-huh" points for those who have lived through shorter-term relationships that became sexual before each person's true thoughts & goals were clarified. (Translation: OUCH!) She includes references to spirituality, including different religions, and focuses on the need to examine, develop & live by your own guidelines for becoming sexual. We all know that having sex usually changes the expectations in a relationship, and this book encourages you to make conscious choices before "doing it". She encourages using the energy saved on wasted relationships to make a better life for yourself & the world. Not a man-hating book - in fact, her belief is that voluntary celibacy can increase the possibility of having caring, honest relationships. Not for everyone, but if you find that you repeatedly give your body - and heart - away to those who don't follow through, buy it today!

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wake up to yourselves ladies!, May 12, 2000

By	Dave Salhus (Malibu) - See all my reviews

After reading "The cult of the BAV" I realized theimportance not just for the women to remain celebate until they are ina relationship with someone that they know is there for more than just a "funny feeling" but also for we men as well. Ive had a fairly extensive past with sex both married and single and have found only emptiness and disappointment following random sexual encounters. I would really be releaved to meet someone that i was attracted to that actually wanted the experience of sex but was headsup enough to want to actually get to know something about the person who i am. I figure that if she is like that with me then she has a strong sense of her own self esteem and value as a partner. People seem not to value the beauty of there physical selves anymore and give it up like kleenex to someone with a runny nose. So. Ladies there are some of us out there who actually do value you for more than just a roll. ...And that just takes a little bit of time to figure out, the men who are not willing to wait arent worth giving it up to, they will be on to the next conquest without giving it a thought. ...You will feel much better about yourselves in the long run. I hear alot of women bad mouthing men and its understandable from the stories i hear, but if you women would stand together instead of competing for a man who may not even be worth your while, then the men with the not so good intent would have no where to go. Give it a try. The real men who are worth it will wait for you will even encourage you to wait until you feel sure, no matter how long, pressure to have sex shouldnt be anypart of it,, not from someone else or even within yourselves. You can do it! And thank you Wendy for getting this message out, hopefully this message will spread like a wild fire and some healing will begin to take place. DMS