How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons (Paperback)

by Albert Ellis (Author), Arthur Lange (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist
Don't get mad or get even--get placid using these authors' techniques for defusing difficult situations. Ellis, the "grandfather of Cognitive Behavior Therapy," and Lange explain how to defuse your own anger, guilt, or depression, how to control your reactions when people persist in "pushing your buttons." The skills defined here can be used in work, home, or social situations. The chapters are filled with work sheets to help readers define the onset of inappropriate responses and practice alternative, healthier behaviors or responses. Factual, practical, and feasible. Denise Perry Donavin

Product Description
The founder of the Institute for Rational Emotive Therapy and the author of two professional therapy books join forces to show readers how to control their reactions to difficult people, through easy-to-follow cognitive behavior therapy exercises.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Carol Publishing Group (June 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 155972224X
• ISBN-13: 978-1559722247
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.7 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #625,629 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Simple, practical, useful, effective, March 9, 2006

By	David Van Buren (California, USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons (Paperback)

The premise of this book is that events or people don't make up you angry or upset, it's what you think about them that does. WIth this in mind, Ellis and Lange lay out a simple approach that you can use to keep on a more even keel. The essence is that you can challenge your own thinking, which often has at its root some sort of irrational belief in the way things should be. Then replace those beliefs with more rational ones. It is a non-manipulative, ethical approach. You can practice this technique on "small" problems and gain confidence that you will handle larger problems better.

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Goodbye To Anxiety, March 8, 2007

By	Raymond Mathiesen (Armidale, N.S.W., Australia) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons (Paperback)

Albert Ellis is the famous originator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. This new approach to psychology aims to educate the client to: (1) analyze their emotional thoughts, (2) challenge these troublesome beliefs, and, (3) replace them with more rational ideas. This approach works well with lesser psychological conditions such as anxiety, anger, depression and neuroticism.

This book is aimed specifically at fear/anxiety/worry. It has plenty of exercises you can work through to help you learn the approach. Ellis teaches that there are three ways that worriers thinking can go wrong: catastrophic thinking, absolutist thinking and rationalization. Next we learn about the "ten nutty beliefs that we use to let people and situations needlessly push our buttons."

While I found this book interesting I began to rebel when I found that I had to learn ten false beliefs that can send me astray. To be fair Ellis does say that only the first four are the most common, but the whole thing had started to feel a bit like preparing to sit an exam. I felt that these ten specific beliefs could have been the subject of a separate book.

Another possible criticism is that this book contains absolutely no reference to experiments to demonstrate that this approach works. If you are the type of person that needs evidence to prove an idea to you this may not be the book for you.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very informative and helprul book, August 4, 2008

By	Veronika (Virginia, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons (Paperback)

I have borrowed this book from the library and was so impressed by the ideas that I decided I need my own copy for reference. I found it very helpful and applicable to the most difficult situations in my life. I feel much calmer after reading it and using techniques it offers.