Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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156 of 168 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Author has an ego to beat the band, but other than that..., April 8, 2003
My copy is hardcover and I found it a few years ago... I had never heard of it or the author before (though she seems to fancy herself a bit of a celebrity)... but it looked interesting, so I splurged. This book is aimed at women who want to explore their dominant side with male partners, and it is easily the most heterosexual thing I've ever read in kink literature - that is to say, it is aimed exclusively at monogamous and/or married couples and follows the Female=Goddess/male=worm archetype (though the author has a healthy sense of humor about it). Although I didn't find a great deal in here that was useful to me (more experienced players will find lot of the information to be rudimentary), your mileage may vary... I think it is a fairly nice guide for women who play with men and want to bring out their goddess side. As an attractively bound hardcover, it would make a great gift... I particularly think that subby men should read it and make a gift of it to that special Lady. It isn't too threatening, it isn't overly detailed or heavy on technique, and it might just inspire her. However.... The real caveat I found is that some of the information in this book echoes other books (such as SM 101 and The Loving Dominant) a little too closely, and if you've already read them some chapters will seem redundant... and I DO recommend reading a more thorough primer if you are a newcomer to BDSM. This book really only covers the basics of certain activities like bondage and flogging, and things like first aid and safer sex are given little to no consideration at all. Consider yourself warned. Still, this book has some things to recommend it. First and foremost, if you are having trouble feeling worship-worthy as a dominant woman, this book offers tips for finding that special "attitude" that makes submissive men melt. Ms. Varrin is also big on wardrobes and looking the part as well as acting it, so you'll find lots of suggestions about fetish wear and hints for incorporating fetishism into play (there is good basic information on the care and treatment of latex garments). There are chapters devoted to topics very popular to many dominant-female, submissive-male players, such as cross-dressing (including great tips on crossdressing as a man), foot fetishes, and humiliation. Ms. Varrin includes lots of personal session stories, which are fun to read and should give the goddess-to-be some wicked ideas. And if you want to train a "slave," the chapter on Positions is useful, and the chapter following it on Slave Training offers some fairly realistic approaches to the classic "reward/punishment" system (just be prepared to be very haughty!) And though it seems a little silly, the Party Games chapter has some cute ice-breaker ideas for those throwing BDSM-themed parties. The part of the book I found most irritating was the author's own self-congratulatory style. She's got an ego and she's very traditional in some ways, and critical of those who are not. (And considering the technique information in the book seems lifted from other how-to BDSM books, it is unclear why she takes this attutude.) My overall impression was she'd spent too much time on talk shows. Women reading this book at the request of their submissive partners may be put off by her tone. Overall, the book is more about ideas than technique, but with all the technique books out there it could make a good companion volume.
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38 of 39 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Give the book The Art of Sensual Female Dominance 5 Stars..., January 1, 2005
I am former professional sensual female dominant of many years but upon seeing the beautiful cover of this book, I just had to add it to my collection. I read it from cover to cover and found it chock-ful of useful information and an excellent guide or gift for the nascent dominant. In addition to techniques for beginners, the book is full of scenarios which will not only amuse the reader but help her on her way to conducting her own sessions, as will the invaluable sample sessions listed in the book.
Based upon the other reviews I read here, I find that Ms. Varrin's book is somewhat misunderstood. She has been criticized that her book has little or nothing to offer the experienced dominant. But her book is not for the experinced domina, it states outright that the book is for the total beginner in a monogamous relationship who has no access to the professional scene, and let's face it, this is not the kind of subject one discusses at the coffee machine at the office.
As to one "reviewer's" veiled remarks that Ms. Varrin "lifted" material from other peoples' books, all I can say to that is "hog-wash." If one was to read all of the BDSM books published, one can easily see that many of them echo the same themes because there are standards that all of the players adhere to. Safe and safer sex was put in the disclaimer, probably because Ms. Varrin felt that repeatedly stating "now is when you put the condom on" would ruin the flow of the book. Because of the mild, introductory nature of the book, yes, first aid has been left out because the techniques are for beginners, not for advanced players who wish to draw blood. And any idiot can apply iodine to a cut. Just because one is reading a "how-to" book doesn't mean that one can abandon all common sense and expect the writer to tell one every little thing that one's own experience should have already taught them.
I found Ms. Varrin's "The Art of Sensual Female Dominance" to be written in a friendly, breezy style and her tone (which is not arrogant, self congradulatory or egostical) will appeal to the most curious vanilla lady or man looking to explore this part of their psyche. Additionally, a little attitude is a good thing if one wishes to properly enact the roles described within. Ms. Varrin's book will not turn off the first-timer like "SM 101" would with its overdose of information aimed specifically at the male dominant. Although her audience is sexually adventurous women, this book will also help the male submissive to articulate his desires to be his would-be mistress.
Overall, I found the book to be informative, amusing, and right on target for Ms. Varrin's audience and I cannot recommend it highly enough! Explore and Enjoy!
Ms Mary D.
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40 of 42 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Get in touch with your inner domina!, May 12, 1999
By A Customer
Great book that takes a look at femdom from all angles, safety, psychological, erotic, how-to's, knot tying, new uses for household goods. *snicker* I am a newbie but have always had bits of dominance play peeking out here and there since I was a kid. This book has helped me get in touch with the inner Amazon dominatrix that has been trying to claw her way out. This book fueled additions to my toy box and my fantasy life. Excellent book for women already interested in it, but for a woman who needs to be convinced, "The Sexually Dominant Woman: a Workbook for Nervous Beginners" by Lady Green is a gentler starting point. Have fun ladies!!!
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