After Goodbye: How To Begin Again After The Death Of Someone You Love (Hardcover)

by Ted Menton (Author) "Louise Nevelson, the powerfully creative, grande dame of American sculptors, once described her life status not as "single" or "unmarried" but simply, as a "solitaire..." (more)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Menten ( Gentle Closings: How to Say Goodbye to Someone You Love ) uses his experience with the Harmony Project in comforting terminally ill children to offer his insights into finding a way out of grief. This slender volume is the natural successor to Gentle Closings ; according to Menten, the only real death is being forgotten. He proposes that death must be faced without evasion in order to get on with the task of living. To this end, he divides the book into four parts: "Questions," "Grieving," "At Sea" and "Coming Ashore." And though his prose is filled with cliches (train and boat imagery is particularly favored), his basic message is simple and important: with each death, despite shared grief, mourners move forward at different paces, and with distinctly different strategies for survival. Language plays an important role in the process, though all too often it's difficult even to say, "I'm sorry your partner died." Instead, the words we tend to use suggest an ambiguity death does not have. Menten's prose is too touchy-feely at times ("I believe in the human heart and the human spirit. I believe that we have the innate ability to change shadows into rainbows"), but his intentions are irreproachable. Surveys indicate that Americans have little patience with the grief-stricken; when asked how long one should grieve, most responded, "a few weeks." Menten teaches that there is no prescribed manner of grieving and that the process is as individual as those who mourn. All he asks is that we learn a little patience.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description
The sequel to Ted Menten's Gentle Closings--written to help the dying person and their loved ones deal with the inevitable goodbye--this book is designed to help the survivors find ways to grieve, let go, and move on after the death of a loved one.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 128 pages
• Publisher: Running Press; 1 edition (March 30, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1561382957
• ISBN-13: 978-1561382958
• Product Dimensions: 6.6 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #784,635 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Ted Menten has gotten it right., March 31, 2000

By	MARY DUPARRI (Chesterfield, MO) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This tiny book evokes tears, smiles and nods of understanding as Ted Menten's vignettes hold our hands through the process of grief. As a counselor myself, it is evident that this author has spent many hours in the company of grief. The beauty of his book is that it embraces and validates what only grievers know: you don't get over things and move on, but you move on holding your loved one forever in your heart.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best book I've read on dealing with grief, April 4, 1999

By A Customer

Ted Menten comes closer than anyone in relating to how a grieving person feels. He has deep insight into our thoughts as we grieve and makes us very aware that that we are normal and will get through this. I highly recommend it for anyone that has lost a spouse or child.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I found much comfort in reading this book., January 21, 1999

By A Customer

I have always found much comfort in reading. After my brother's sudden death,I searched our library for a book on a loved one's death and how to cope. I found this book and I experienced such comfort in it, that I shared it with other family members. They also found comfort in it. It is a wonderful book. I would recommend it to anyone who may be grieving over a loved one.