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35 of 35 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Inner City Black Children Could Use More Bill Cosby's and fewer Marian Wright Edelman's, December 28, 2006
In writing this easy-to-read, but hard-to-swallow little book, Kay Hymowitz has done more to show the route out of poverty and despair for inner city black children than all the nanny-state prescriptions of "child advocacy" organizations like the Childrens' Defense Fund (now there's a misnomer). She describes well the fundamental difference between middle class families--with both father and mother living in the same house--and single mothers with absentee fathers in the inner city. In middle-class families, the child's development--"emotional, social, and...cognitive--takes center stage. It is the family's raison d'etre, its state religion." It is a lack of understanding of what she labels the "mission" of the family for the child, that perpetuates the underclass. It hit me between the eyes when a nurse, working with poor, young, first-time mothers, is quoted as saying that when she encouraged such mothers to talk to their babies, they often reply, "Why would I talk to him? He can't answer me." Throwing more money at government programs like Head Start haven't been able and never will be able to overcome such a view of the role of the "family" in developing a self-reliant, productive and, yes, happy child and young adult. And unfortunately, for more and more central cities of the US, there are no longer any models of middle class behavior for young people to learn from. No one can show how a full-time father living in the home acts--because there are none.
The good news from this book is that Gen X young people, having seen and felt the horrific effects of easy divorces by Baby Boomer parents, are becoming more and more committed to staying together in traditional marriages. The bad news, as Hymowitz demonstrates, is that American society is becoming more and more bifurcated. As the time and education required to succeed in a more information-intensive world increases, the gap between success (and yes, personal fulfillment) and failure (and despair) will continue to grow. And such success or failure will be determined more and more by that venerable, but elite-scorned institution--the marriage of one man and one woman. How did we ever come to think otherwise?
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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
The unequal distribution of marriage, February 12, 2007
This is a well written and accessible look at some of the research surrounding marriage and poverty. In the first chapter Kay Hymowitz shows that the breakdown of marriage has not been a universal phenomenon. Instead divorce and single motherhood are concentrated among the poor. The result is that the breakdown of marriage entraps another generation into poverty. This shows up clearly in the statistics, Only 20% of children in families earning under $15,000 live with both parents, compared to 92% for children whose parents make over $75,000. This also shows up in surprising ways. In a world in which divorce rates are nearly fifty percent, only 10% of students in elite colleges come from divorced families.
Affluent families are governed by what Hymowitz dubs "The Mission." Affluent parents invest tremendous amounts of time and energy into their children in order to prepare them for a successful life. Even socially liberal women recognize the importance of enlisting fathers in the process of raising children. Heartbreakingly, this is not emulated in the broken homes of the underclass. There is an adage that goes, "When America catches a cold, black America catches pneumonia," and this is sadly true when it comes to the breakdown of the family. Hymowitz describes childrearing in the black community, where in many inner cities the rates of out of wedlock childbirths are nearly 80%. Unmarried parents may start out with good intentions, but over time they drift in different directions. When the black mothers try to get the fathers to invest more time and energy into their children, they are derided for "actin' white."
Other books that people who read this will like are The Marriage Problem: How Our Culture Has Weakened Families by sociologist James Q. Wilson. It is a more thorough treatment of much of the same material, including the current research, history, and sociology of marriage. Also check out No Excuses: Closing the Racial Gap in Learning, which is a rigorous examination of the problem of black poverty and education. It debunks various progressive arguments such as a lack of school funding or self-fulfilling prophecies, and argues the need for a cultural readjustment.
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35 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hymowitz is a Treasure, December 17, 2006
If you don't already read Kay Hymowitz's essays in City Journal, you will after reading this book. She's that rare writer who manages to be bold without being bombastic. Her take on the crumbling institution of marriage is at once sobering and smart. Her thesis: marriage matters. In language that is simple without being simplistic, she reveals how marriage is the ultimate "anti-poverty program," and how so much that ails our nation's youth derives from absentee fathers. She delivers a heavy message with a hopeful conclusion: in the end, many of the challenges our nation's families face aren't all that hard to solve, they just take the moral courage and individual initiative to do so.
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