How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense (Paperback)

by Kate Cohen-Posey (Author) "The first thing to THINK about is  what makes someone act like a pest or bully?..." (more)
Key Phrases: golden nuggets, Aunt Rose

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist
Gr. 4^-7. The fill-in-the-blank section may cause a few problems, but consider purchasing this anyway. It's one of a very few books that puts a practical spin on the subject. It doesn't consider bullies who shove and kick, but it has got some useful tips on how kids can use verbal techniques to turn a bully's slurs inside out. It's a bit of a stretch to think kids this age will want to start an anti-meanness club, and it's difficult to fully accept the author's suggestion that taking the sting out of bullies' words may help bullies see the error of their ways. But this is certainly a place to start when fighting back seems in order, with the ideas and the wordplays recommended giving victims just the edge they may need to begin to recoup their self-esteem. Stephanie Zvirin

Product Description
Every young person will need this book at some time in his or her life! A parent-child resource book, How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies covers

*annoying name calling,
*vicious prejudice,
*explosive anger,
*dangerous situations, and
*causes of difficult behavior.

It contains more than twelve ways for melting meanness. It uses dozens of examples and practice exercises to teach a comic approach to handling cruelty. It shows young people how to put spiritual truths in to action. It gives parents, teachers, and counselors a method to help young people help themselves with an approach that goes far beyond assertiveness in its mastery of meanness.

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Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 9-12
  
• Paperback: 92 pages
• Publisher: Rainbow Books; 1 edition (November 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1568250290
• ISBN-13: 978-1568250298
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #280,927 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

89 of 90 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Yuck!, December 19, 2004

By	Garrick Sitongia (Santa Barbara, CA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I bought this book as a gift for a young friend. Having had my own real experience with bullies when I was young, and having learned how to deal with bullies through experience, I wanted to save my friend about 20 years and give a book with advice appropriate for whatever age you are.

Based on the first couple of pages in the "Look Inside This Book", I was impressed. When I received it, I was quickly disappointed because much of the advice was aimed saying nice or "cute" things back to the bully! For example:

Bully: "Big nose!"
Person: "Why, yes, my nose is a bit large. How sweet of you to notice."

If I had said that to any bully when I was in school, the bully would have yelled, "HEY GUYS!" where upon he and his toadies would have surrounded me in a very tight little circle. I can see them hurling insults, pounding and shoving me and screaming with laughter as I said, "Why thank you! I was about to scratch an itch but your boot on my chest took care of it!" I would have been held in a headlock while each of them kicked my rear for compliments! Any teacher on the scene would have blamed me for not trying to at least stick up for myself, but first waiting and watching out of amazement.

The author must have very little experience with "real" bullies, because an outdated theory was used to write this book. The theory that bullies have low self-esteem has been discredited. The strategy of complimenting them to "build up their self-esteem", so they will stop being a bully, can actually backfire and invite more abuse. More importantly, instructing a victim with low self-esteem to help the bully by giving compliments sends the wrong message to the victim. Think future spousal abuse victim. Yuck! This one gets returned.

74 of 78 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Totally not connected to the real world kids today are stuck with, November 29, 2005

By	A Reader (USA) - See all my reviews

"Teasers and meanies" don't exist anymore, if they ever did. And "bullies" are going to have a lot of fun with your child if you are naive enough to give a 4th - 7th grader this book.

Kindergarten, maybe.

If you've got a kid experiencing bully problems, you need to be aware that giving bad advice is worse than doing nothing. Do your research - research your kid's school situation, research real-world bullying situations, and above all avoid books like this one. Try reading "Lord Of The Flies" instead - it's a lot closer to what today's schoolyard culture is really like.

Think of a wolf pack or a chicken pecking-order. Kids bully to enhance their own position. Your child needs to learn how to act strong, because weak chickens get pecked to death.

Other kids - even "nice" ones - will either join in or do nothing. For one thing, they have their own position to worry about, and if they defend your child, they may become the new target.

Also, there's a strong cultural belief that suggests victims invite their own abuse. As the late Ann Landers put it, "nobody can take advantage of you without your permission". Let's face it: we don't sympathize with wimps, whiners, clueless people, professional victims, the "politically correct", "people who play the blame game", etc. School counselors like to post things like "Who ever said life was fair?" on their walls. Forget about "justice" or "fair play". That may be commonplace in the grownup world, but it isn't real on the schoolyard.

By the time a bullied kid gets to the 7th grade, he or she may very well be experiencing real physical abuse, vandalized lockers, obscene graffiti, vicious rumours, having their stuff stolen and trashed, internet slander campaigns, sexual harrassment, near-total ostracization - and all of this is fairly routine stuff. The really "serious" bullying is terrifying; it can include things that would be considered "violent crimes" if the public schools weren't held to a different standard.

Bullied kids can be seriously scared to go to school - one of the tipoffs that your kid may be having bully problems is when he or she wants to stay home sick all the time.

Do your kid a favor. Skip this book and just talk to him or her about how things are at school, and LISTEN to your kid if he or she tries to tell you there are problems. Skip the cutesy advice; not only does it not work, but it's one of the biggest reasons kids "know better" than to try to talk to grownups about the problems they're experiencing. And - if your kid is really having problems with bullying - don't rely on school officials. If they knew what they were doing, your child would not be going to the sort of school where bullying is allowed to occur.

One book I would recommend (instead) for a 4th grader is Judy Blume's "Blubber". It was written a long time ago, but it captures that wolf-pack mentality that grownups typically seem to "just not get".

This book might not be bad for a younger child. But NOT for the 4th to 7th grade listed in this book's info blurb.

50 of 54 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this to help their children cope with bullies !, April 5, 1999

By A Customer

As a teacher of assertiveness training for 25 years, I am delighted with Kate Cohen-Posey's book on handling bullies and teasers. It is clear, concise, comprehensive -- chock full of practical strategies instead of the theories and generalities found in other books -- the best publication I have seen on this important subject. -Naomi Penner