Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? (Paperback)

~ Jordan Paul (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"(They) have written something very wonderful that speaks to everyone. I enjoyed it immensely and learned a great deal." ALI MACGRAW

"A raritysimple, profound, and full of hope!" DAVID VISCOTT, M.D., "Risking" and "The Language of Feelings" -- Endorsement

"A Book which makes all other texts about relationships finally understandable." EDDIE SCHWARTZ -- Skyway News, Minneapolis

"I have read and enjoyed your very valuable book. It is a real gift to those in relationship" TEV. TERRY COLE-WHITTAKER, author of "What You Think of Me Is None of My Business" -- Endorsement

"The most important, useful and powerful book I have read on couple therapy since Virginia Satirs Conjoint Family Therapyone of the rare books that is both useful to the lay audience and indispensable for the clinician." DENNIS JAFFE, PH.D., author of "Healing From Within" -- Endorsement

"fascinating material for readers to test in their own lives." RUCH C. IKERMAN, Los Angeles Times -- Los Angeles Times

Product Description

Being in love with your partner feels wonderful! But when conflict arises, unfortunately the euphoria soon disappears. Your mate may not be in the mood to talk when you are. Maybe you argue about sex or spending money. These things are very upsetting! Now, instead of love, you feel anger, disappointment, or hurt.

Here, in this widely acclaimed best seller, couples can learn how to work through conflict in ways that create more love and intimacy, not less. The paths through conflict are illustrated in chart form and then explained in detail. Other chapters relate the fears and false beliefs that act as obstacles to loving feelings. In addition, a whole section of exercises is provided for couples to explore together their feelings and beliefs about values, power struggles, sexual expectations, etc.

Recommended highly my marriage therapists and religious groups across the country, this book has become a classic text for couples who want the richness and depth of lifetime love relationships.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Hazelden Publishing & Educational Services (January 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1568380682
• ISBN-13: 978-1568380681
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.2 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,055,390 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A profound, important, and implication-rich book, February 6, 2002

By	Jeremy J. Shapiro (New York, NY USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

For me this book is one of the most profound and important books I have ever read about relationships and communication. Although it is written as a book about marital relationships, it has implications for every kind of relationship, and not only intimate or dyadic ones. And, although it is written as a pop psychology book, I think it makes a real contribution to the social-scientific understanding of relationships and communication -- that is, it stands up well as a general model of communication and relationship. I think it is a great book and would be of great value not only to those trying to solve relationship problems but to those wanting to understand the ways in which self and relationship are intertwined in general. It illuminates all of the areas of one's life in which one communicates with others and, as another reader said, can be as valuable for understanding past relationships as for dealing with present ones.

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hopeful dissertation on confronting ones fears, July 25, 1999

By	[e-mail] (Pittsburgh, Pa) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You (Hardcover)

I am currently separated and have been for 2 years. I am hopeful to get my wife to read this book as it has made a great change in my life. It has very good exercises to practice with the one you love. I pray that I get the opportunity. We all have fears about our marriage relationship and what will cause its demise. Sometimes it is caused by our inability to convey how we feel about issues in a non attacking or controlling way. It has helped me to admit to myself that sometimes I try to control my situation by controlling my wife's reactions sometimes on purpose other times just by the anger or frustration in certain situations. This book is a good resource to confront our own problems first and then hopefully get together with the woman we love and put our fears to rest and have a meeting of the minds through true openess of our frustrations and fears in a constructive way.

Thanks to the authors.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, excellent book., January 28, 2002

By	Kevin (Victoria, BC Canada) - See all my reviews

This book has really come to the rescue in my life. I am 24 and my partner 21. We've been together 8 months and started having conflicts after moving in together about 2 months ago. After a big fight one day, she brought this book home and we agreed to read it together every day.

Since then, there's been a massive change for us. A difficult change too, but so worthwhile. Margie and Jordan are really great people, and they make the book funny, informative and loving, but strong enough to shake you up. It's just so great... learning to learn is difficult, but ultimately incredibly rewarding. 1000 stars!