Going the Other Way: Lessons from a Life in and out of Major-League Baseball (Hardcover)

by Billy Bean (Author), Chris Bull (Contributor) "EVEN AS A KID, I lived to wear a uniform..." (more)
Key Phrases: World Series, New York, San Diego (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Bean, who was an outfielder for teams including the Detroit Tigers and San Diego Padres from 1987 to 1995, was the antithesis of the stereotypical jock: he was valedictorian of his high school; he went to a Catholic university; talk of sexual exploits made him uncomfortable; and he became involved with a woman who "fit the image he created" about the proper partner for a "baseball star." Though he was happy with Anna, "it dawned on me that I didn't share my teammates' intense attraction to the opposite sex. There was always something missing, and I felt a restlessness I couldn't quite define or shake. At the same time, I couldn't fathom the alternative." Bean went on to play in the major leagues, although, after modest initial successes, he drifted in and out of the minors. Along the way, he married Anna, in spite of his concerns about his sexual identity: "I hoped that by making my marriage a priority, I could get beyond the 'gay thing.'" He didn't. He and Anna divorced, and Bean set up house with his first companion until the man died of AIDS. Bean didn't attend the funeral because he didn't want to miss a game or explain his relationship. Not long after, Bean was called back to the major leagues. It was only then, as he prepared to retire from baseball, that he told his parents that he was gay. With relatively few coming-out tales from the baseball world, this book's novelty will attract some readers. It is intelligently written and Bean's concerns about his sexuality are well conveyed. On the other hand, Bean, who is now happily living and working with his partner in Miami Beach, hasn't played for nearly eight years; the sex lives of other more prominent players have been widely discussed in the press; and Bean's revelations are not nearly as controversial as they might have been some years ago. While the book does offer an interesting portrait of the less glamorous side of baseball, particularly the humiliation of being sent to the minor leagues, its appeal may be somewhat limited.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
During 10 years with the Tigers, Dodgers, and Padres, Bean was a good player but no star. He would have faded into obscurity except for his casual disclosure three years after retirement that he is gay. Especially because the ill-starred Glenn Burke died in 1995, the revelation made Bean the out baseball player. How he, the only child of an abandoned working-class mom, arrived at that status is the story he tells with oral immediacy and winning personality in this memoir. Sports claimed him long before homosexuality did, and his love of baseball gives the book its powerful charm. He realized his homosexuality in adulthood and came to see baseball's milieu as oppressive only after his first lover died and he felt obliged not to talk about his loss. If he now advocates dispelling homophobia in baseball and athletics generally, he doesn't rail against old teammates and managers. His testimony is as much a tribute to baseball as it is an argument for accepting gays, and better for that. Ray Olson
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 280 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (March 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1569244863
• ISBN-13: 978-1569244869
• Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #810,686 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Courageous, the stuff of role models, April 8, 2003

By	C. MacNeil "Three Rivers Reviewer" (Fort Wayne, IN USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

At its inception, "Going the Other Way ..." could easily have been little more than a professional athlete's bio of protecting his homosexuality in what remains one of the sexuality's near-hallowed taboo, and even going that far would be courageous. But ex-baseball player Billy Bean takes his private story further by not only coming out publicly but by submitting the subtle question if sexual orientation really has anything to do with a person's worth as a family member, friend and working in whatever profession. In doing so, Bean's story is a lesson not only in coming to terms privately but also in being accepted by rendering impotent the social tendency to over-use labels like straight, gay and bi. Until Bean made good his dream to play major league baseball, his story was essentially non-descript: a loving family supporting his athletic ambition, a straight A student, girlfriends, marriage to a breathtakingly beautiful woman. Bean's "wholesome" story becomes unique only when he actually makes the big leagues but has to stay in his closet to avoid the potential multi-dimensional issues associated with coming out. Remarkably, Bean's is both a baseball and coming-to-terms book, and he manages further to posit the thought that sexual orientation may actually have little to nothing to do with any person's total worth. Bean also goes into some detail about his gay sexual experiences and concludes he was bassically "lucky" to have dodged the fatal bullet of AIDS. Still, that portion of his narrative poses the thought that public discussion about homosexuality and AIDS, even by the anti-gay faction, may actually be productive in blunting activity that risks the disease. In the end, though, Bean's story is an important contribution in learning to accept oneself and by doing it in such a way to be accepted in general with little to no qualification of sexual orientation being a factor. Beyond that, Bean's story is a one of courage and unshakeable faith in his own worth as a human being, and it and he are the stuff role models are made of.

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Strong and Honest., May 3, 2003

By	"govt_atty" (Washington, DC USA) - See all my reviews

When I first saw an ad for this book, my eyes swept right over it without a pause. I'd never heard of Billy Bean, and know little about baseball (more of a hockey fan), so it really didn't grab my attention. However, a couple days later I saw that he was signing his book at the local gay bookstore, so thought I'd pop in to see what the big deal was . . . and grab a copy just in case. I was not disappointed.

In "Going the Other Way," Billy Bean takes you through his sports career, from humble beginnings as a kid in several sports (like most of us) to the ups and downs of a major-league career in baseball. The first half of the book does not deal much with his sexual orientation, but you see hints of his inner struggle. Later on, Billy explains the fear, shame, questioning, and hiding that most gay men face at some time in their lives. He is very honest about the difficulties he faced as he attempted to deny being gay, later tried to live two different lives, and finally gave up sports to find love and happiness. And even then his struggles were not over.

I wish that everyone could get to meet Billy Bean, hear him read his story, and just listen to him for a short while. From the short bit I saw in person, the honesty and feeling in the book are truly reflected in the author himself. His is a story that both straights and gays, athletes and non-athletes can enjoy. And it's a story that needs to be told.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Milestone on the road to acceptance, March 30, 2003

By A Customer

Billy's generation lost some of its best to AIDS, and as he explains in his book he only escaped it by sheer luck. Perhaps it was for the best that the social stigma against homosexuality was powerful in the 80s, before men learned how deadly unprotected sex could be. At least a few, like Billy, had less exposure than they would have had if sex between males were as accepted as it is today.
Then again, without the anti-gay attitudes of late-20th century America, perhaps the disease -- and the means to avoid it -- would have been discovered more quickly, and lives would have been spared. This is a debate about which I've not reached a conclusion.
It is safe to conclude, however, that Billy's book will do a lot of good if it gets the readership it deserves. The daguerreotype of an All American, Billy grew up in what would ordinarily be considered a challenging family situation to become everyone's hometown favorite. He subjugated his sexual desires to his compulsion to please in a manner rare among straight and gay alike. That he felt the need to stay in the closet as long as he did is not surprising. The number of men of his generation and older locked in even tighter closets would surprise a lot of people.
What is surprising is the sympathy Billy and his co-author, Chris Bull, generate from simply telling the facts of Billy's life. Billy assiduously avoids portraying himself as a victim -- he got to live out his childhood dream for more than a decade, he enjoyed love, and he remains today surrounded by more love than ever before. Yet the facts in "Going the Other Way" show that he was, indeed, the victim of anti-gay bias, in countless ways and for his entire baseball career.
It is the compelling reporting of those facts that will make Billy's book invaluable to young men struggling with their sexuality, particularly in communities where tolerance remains an unfulfilled aspiration. The book could be of service to straight young men who need to realize that sexual orientation is relevant to neither personal friendship nor professional collegiality. This book speaks to Billy's generation about changing views of sexuality; to Billy's elders about the nation they created for us; and to Billy's juniors about the people they can become, if they learn that it isn't the gender of someone who is loved that is important. It's the love that's important. Although the game is mentioned on almost every page, and gay baseball players and fans will therefore appreciate it as a good baseball book, this isn't a book about baseball. It is a book about love. It's a good baseball book, but it's a great book about love.