How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving (Paperback)

~ (Author) "We are born with a capacity to dance together but not with the necessary training..." (more)
Key Phrases: impoverished ego, neurotic ego, romance phase, Letting Go of Ego, Fears Rush In-and Dangers, The First Phase of Relationship (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Approaching the study of relationships from a psychotherapist's perspective is How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving. Teacher and writer David Richo gives practical and spiritual exercises for couples and singles who want to have mature and lasting relationships. Emphasizing paying attention and letting go, Richo gently and compassionately coaches readers on what he calls the five A's: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. His book, which proposes "letting go of ego," will help those seeking personal transformation in their relationships. (June)
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"Well-constructed and thought-provoking."—Spirituality & Health

"An inspiring and highly practical guide to effective relationships."—Kathlyn Hendricks, coauthor of Conscious Loving and The Conscious Heart

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Shambhala (June 18, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1570628122
• ISBN-13: 978-1570628122
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #2,116 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #20 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Love & Romance
  #29 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

153 of 156 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Insightful!!!, December 1, 2003

By	S. L. Hale "Shae" (Midwest) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

I originally sought books to help me get over a man in my life that is still IN my life, but not committed to me. We are the classic "friends with benefits" only he's benefiting more than I am...much more. This book has reinforced in a HUGE way what I already knew but chose to ignore. It teaches us how change IS scary...even if it's healthy change. It's scary because it's what we become to know and feel comfortable with after awhile. It reaches deep into the psyche and shows why we stay in relationships that aren't so healthy. It connects us to our childhood, but not in a crutching sort of manner like some readings which "blame" our current choices all on childhood incidences, but rather shows us why we possibly make some of the decisions that we do.

You won't be disappointed in this book. I had to force myself to put it down and sleep. I read it in two days. I underlined SO many sections that applied to me. This book is a lifetime keeper!!! Get one for you or someone close to you if you feel they need to make some changes in the way they choose relationships in their lives. You (or them) will be happy you did!!!

One warning...It's very truthful. Sometimes when you hear something you dont like, it can have a profound effect. I cried reading this book several times because it talked about my life...my thought processes and my feelings when choosing and staying with a partner.

116 of 119 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not for the average reader, April 28, 2005

By	J. Marui (Belgrade, SCG) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I bought two books by this author: How to be an adult, and How to be an adult in relationships. Both are excellent.
Even though their titles begin with How to... these are not self-help books.
In this book, the author discusses what love is: giving attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing - the five A's as he calls it. The language used is beautiful, the way the author thinks is inspiring, and you can just feel that he himself is a loving person. No ego-based, "let me tell you how amazing I am" paragraphs here.
The book is valuable as a piece of literature, as a philosophical and psychological work. I reread and contemplated many pages.
The bottom line is this: if you are looking for a quick-fix, feel good book - skip this one. If you are prepared to do the work, if you are not afraid of realization that learning how to love is a life-long process, and are not scared of (as another reviewer put it) big words, this is the book that is worth reading - again and again.

57 of 57 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A gentle "in your face" kind of truth..., July 18, 2004

By	deirdre_of_the_sorrows (USA, PA) - See all my reviews

I bought this book in the midst of confusion as to wether I was going to get married or break off a relationship with a particular person. I am a psychologist and a lover, and an avid reader of self-help and vampire books

A long time ago a friend of mine said to me "BE TRUE TO YOURSELF". Mr. Richo does just that. Feelings of validity and recognition of personal pain flow from this book as you read it and it becomes part of you. This book helped me to make so many decisions and also helped me to gain a lot more self-esteem by making me realize what was happening right in front of my eyes.

I tabbed, underlined, highlighted and starred so many pages, I had friends read shapters to help them with their relationships, and it is amazing the kind of feedback this book gets. Do yourself a favor and check this one out. Pick the parts that you need to read first, and you will gain all that you know withought ever having to read through an introduction or a foward first. The table of contents is thorough and all of your issues are right in front of you. An amazing tool, a great gift, a life-long partner, a second bible.