Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem (Paperback)

~ Matthew McKay (Author), Patrick Fanning (Author) "Self-esteem is essential for psychological survival..." (more)
Key Phrases: cognitive distortions, pathological critic, reason for behavior change, Building Self-Esteem, The Shoulds, Accurate Self-Assessment (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A valueable storehouse of tactics and strategies for constructing (or renovating) the foundation of our self-estem" --Phillip G. Zimbardo, author of Shyness
-- Review

"A valueable storehouse of tactics and strategies for constructing (or renovating) the foundation of our self-estem" --Phillip G. Zimbardo, author of Shyness

--This text refers to the Mass Market Paperback edition.

Product Description

Since its first publication in 1987, Self-Esteem has become the first choice of therapists and savvy readers looking for a comprehensive, self-care approach to improving self-image, increasing personal power, and defining core values. More than 600,000 copies of this book have helped literally millions of readers feel better about themselves, achieve greater success, and enjoy their lives to the fullest.

You can do it, too!

By using these books - Self-Esteem Companion, Self-esteem Guided Journal and Self _esteem, 3rd edition - as a set, you’ll be able to customize your self-esteem work with exercises and writing projects that reinforce and support the ideas in the original book.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 316 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 3 edition (May 15, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572241985
• ISBN-13: 978-1572241985
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.8 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #2,492 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

243 of 246 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read Self-Esteem- It's Worth It, November 19, 2008

By	Tonya - See all my reviews

Who's the book for? Anyone who wants to improve their self-esteem.

What's the goal of the book? To improve your self-esteem.

How does it do this? By showing you how to disarm your "inner critic", you know, that negative inner voice that attacks and judges you. Everyone has one, and people with low self-esteem tend to have a more vicious inner critic.

Is it easy to read? Yes, the book is laid out well and written in a very friendly tone. The first three chapters cover the most important and universally applicable information. After finishing them, there is a chart for you to look at. It will direct you to the appropriate chapter(s) that deal with your specific problems. Neat!

You don't have to read the book cover-to-cover unless you just need general info- but that's what's good about it; you can use the book to fit your individual needs. With over 600,000 copies sold, it must have helped a few people! Other self-help books I liked include "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World". Good luck!

152 of 156 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very good book!, August 9, 2002

By	Andreas Fellner "afellner" (München) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This is a very comprehensive self-help book about the nature, cause und treatment of low self-esteem. It is ideal for everyone with low self-esteem and contains many exercises. The authors deal with the following aspects:
- The nature of self-esteem: here the basic concept of the whole book is being introduced: your thoughts determine your self-esteem
- The pathological critic: you explore your inner critic, explore the origin of this critic and get information how to catch your critic
- Disarming the critic: in order to combat your inner critic, you first have to understand its function, then talk back so to make him useless
- Accurate self-assessment: this is one of the highlights of this book. You'll learn the art of accurate self-assessment without using pejorative terms like useless, bad, or inferior
- Cognitive distortions: this chapter deals with the important concept of wrongly perceiving reality and how to combat this tendency
- Compassion: this is one of the most powerful techniques for dealing with low self-esteem. You'll learn ways to better understand, accept, and forgive yourself and others
- Handling mistakes and responding to criticisms: I greatly like the attitude of the authors towards mistakes. There are no mistakes in the world, because all the decisions you chose to make were based on your needs and assessment of the situation. A decision can only be labeled as a mistake with hindsight
- Asking for what you want: this chapter shows how to assert your right without being aggressive
- Visualization and hypnosis
- Building self-esteem in children: the last chapter shows ways how to raise children with high self-esteem by listening to them and validating their feelings. At the same time, it is important to set clear limits and be consistent.

Altogether, this book is full of useful information and exercises. It can be used both as a self-help book and a supplement to therapy.

59 of 63 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the Best Books I've Ever Read on Personal Development, February 8, 2004

By	T.J. Lynch (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews

Self Esteem is a practical book. It's about taking control of your thoughts to take control of your feelings. That's all there is to it.

With inspiring simplicity and logic, McKay and Fanning educate the reader about the causes and effects of strong self-esteem. It also introduces the Critic - the voice in your head that brings you down no matter what you do. Most importantly, it helps you to expose what psychological needs the Critic meets. Once this is figured, one can resolve to meet needs in a healthier manner.

Next, with the reader aware of the needs his or her critic meets, a chart is offered, guiding the reader towards the specific resources mentioned in the book. Some of the written exercises are designed to enhance your awareness. Others are day-to-day activities in which you keep track of your exact thoughts in order to replace them with more realistic ones. In addition, visualization is offered as well, a powerful and simple tool for creating a healthier self-image.

Yet, the authors wisely understand that rebutting old beliefs sometimes isn't enough. As a solution, they offer the technique of hypnosis. The logic behind this is that often the memories that rob us of our worth are not remembered consciously. As a result, many of the exercises in the book will not work, since no memory is there for one to work with. Hypnosis allows one to directly access the subconscious, allowing one to implant healthier ideas of who we are.

Self-Esteem's ultimate goal seems to be to get the reader to measure up against a new standard of worth. An inspiring passage sums it up:

"The truth is that your value is your consciousness, your ability to perceive and experience. The value of a human life is that it exists. You are a complex miracle of creation. You are a person who is trying to live, and that makes you as worthwhile as every other person who is doing the same thing. Achievement has nothing to do with it. Whatever you do, whatever you contribute should come not from the need to prove your value, but from the natural flow of your aliveness. What you do should come from the drive to fully live, rather than the fight to justify yourself."

Reading Self-Esteem, and implementing the solutions, will allow you to feel better about yourself no matter what life throws at you.