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71 of 73 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Anger Management Help, May 22, 2001
This workbook teaches everyday skills and techniques on how to manage anger build-up, reactions toward anger (positive reactions versus negative reactions), how not to turn anger inward ("stuffing it"), etc.I found that this book, in conjunction with cognitive techniques for thinking really dissipated my anger level to one of tolerance instead of blowing up over almost everything that goes wrong.I would suggest this book to anyone who feels that anger gets in the way of living a happy, rewarding life. Especially for folks that normally react with anger to either avoid other feelings or get angry over things that are not in their control.
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36 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Complete perfection in self-help book writing that actually WORKS, April 7, 2007
I love using self-help books as therapy: they are reasonably cheap and they mobilize you sometimes even better than a therapist - as you know you can't become passive or rely on someone else for your progress.
Over the years, I've seen quite a few good self-help books, and God knows, I've been duped by a few unhelpful ones in glossy covers. It always puzzles me to see how some of these real duds can manage to make it to the best seller's lists and stay there. I know it's human to seek simplistic answers, only to find out, that the solution to a long-term problem is never easy and quick as the book promises.
A while back, I was lucky to get a hold of a book called The Authoritative Guide to Self-Help Books. The book is a result of a well-respected study that rates hundreds of self-help books/films/websites for various disorders such as depression, anger, obesity, anxiety, low self-esteem and so on. In the anger category, the only book found to be highly effective (5 stars) was the book I am reviewing.
This is the most concise book I've seen on this complex subject about 150 pages), but it's the essence of all I needed.
In my opinion, a self help book is good if:
1. It's simple, clear and free of psychobabble with a minimum of stories of non-existent humans;
2. It doesn't dwell excessively on the past no matter how sad, but rather encourages action to change;
3. The issues feel relevant and you see the application to your unique situation immediately;
4. It is scientifically proven to work. It does not promise you easy and quick results but realistic and common-sense;
The Anger Control Workbook is such self-help book.
It starts by teaching you how to relax on demand. Try to be angry when you are completely relaxed-it's impossible.
Relaxation is a skill that you perfect with 20-minute daily practice. You use this skill to temporarily calm yourself and buy time so that you can plead and reason with yourself not to act impulsively and cause an unrepairable damage.
Then, the book addresses your thought and belief system and helps to correct some of the distortions that are surely lurking there. Automatic and unnoticed distortions provide fertile ground for anger. They help sustain and justify its philosophical existence by painting all sorts of seemingly inevitable catastrophes. Authors say, testing and correcting your silent dialog is the most important step in gaining control in any mood change, a.k.a. cognitive therapy.
Finally, the book teaches you how to inoculate yourself against various situations that make you angry by preventing any outbursts in the future. You compile the description of the situations that tick you off and deal with them on your own terms-at home while you are totally relaxed and safe by imagining yourself in the hot situation, and desensitizing yourself, until you get in control.
Often times, I actually found myself memorizing some of the books sentences, and reciting them to myself like mantra. For example, when getting pissed at people whom I deem as incompetent, I'd quell my anger by saying to myself "PEOPLE ARE DOING THEIR BEST". This sentence, as simple as corny as it might sound, would honestly humble myself and make me more human, calming a rising storm inside. It just had that click with me.
In the end, the obvious is worth repeating: this book or any self-help book works only if you use it! Deliberately seeking out situations that make you angry - not avoiding them - and acting in a new, non-aggressive fashion, is key. Good luck!
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Must Have!, November 10, 2006
I've enjoyed Matthew McKay's other anger management books "When Anger Hurts" and especially "Being a Man: A Guide to the New Maculinity." -- the latter book changed the tenor of my life for which I am truly grateful.
"Being a Man" was an excellent book, and a precursor to this book "The Anger Control Workbook." And as the title says, it is a WORKBOOK. It incorporates ALL the suggestions made in the earlier books, provides an immediate set of exercises to use, and simplifies the process without having to "read" a lot of background material as you had to do with the earlier books.
I suggest this book to individuals needing IMMEDIATE relief from anger arousal. I keep many copies on hand and give to friends seeking help. I think it works only for people seeking help and wanting change; and wouldn't apply to those in trouble and not willing to make personal changes.
The book comes with many photocopy-ready pages, with easy methods to handle the next 24-hours, and then a few days, and then a week, progressing up to a month and more. The work is structured in such a way that real change happens.
If you want a change in yourself, or in someone close to you (e.g., a partner, a therapy client, a coaching client, etc.) this book is an a must read and own!
I consider Matthew McKay PhD as one of the few gifted experts in this field. He is able to write in a way that is easy to understand and easy to incorporate.
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