I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know (Paperback)

~ (Author) "There are certain "givens" to police work: dimensions of the job that probably won't change much..." (more)
Key Phrases: law enforcement families, hazardous habits, police stress, New York, Consumer Reports, Recommended Reading (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

" ...a moving, thorough, and honest resource for anyone who knows and/or loves a law enforcement officer. Whether you 'belong' to a rookie or veteran officer, Dr. Kirschman's matter-of-fact style of laying out situations, facts, and solutions is sure to provide you with a source of information. Accompanying this abundance of wisdom is an unmistakable sense of compassion and understanding. Utilizing real life examples, clinical knowledge and the depth of understanding that Dr. Kirschman brings to her subject matter, this book provides strategies and coping techniques for almost every situation." --Partners Off Duty Newsletter "This book presents a masterful expose of the reality of being a police family. The author, in essence, has provided a survival manual for those who choose policing as their life work....This book can be useful in three areas: for police officers and their families, to help them deal with a difficult occupation; for mental health professionals and counselors, to give them an inside view of their police clients; and for researchers, who can benefit from the qualitative information provided in each chapter....This is an important book to read for young people who are contemplating a police career. It should be made a part of criminal justice courses on law enforcement. Police administrators and executives should also read this book, which will give them a better understanding of the line officer's predicament." --Criminal Justice Review "I highly recommend it to anyone who has a police officer in their families, especially police wives....As a new wife in a police marriage, I found this book to be very supportive and informative....I appreciated the fact that all through the book the author reminds the reader that most problems with a police officer aren't so much due to the job, but due to how the person has been taught to act and cope with stress....This book is also a source of hope when one is faced with problems....it gives common sense answers to the problems we all face....Police work can be both rewarding and harmful to a family.This book breaks through the stereotypes and reaches a "human" level....This book has something for everyone....Dr. Kirschman has done an exceptional job in providing a manual for anyone connected to law enforcement....It is well written, easy to read and filled with valuable information....Whether you are a police officer, family member, or friend, this book is a "must read." --California Peace Officers Association Newsletter "A comprehensive, easily understood source of valuable information....Provides such worthwhile information that police administrators should seriously consider making it required reading for promotional examinations." --FBI Magazine "The book offers a lot of good advice....Kirschman has obviously invested a great deal of time and effort in her research. Her analysis of police work and its effect on the individual officer and family life are right on the mark. In my opinion, the author has achieved her stated goal of offering a practical coping guide for police officers and the people who love them. An excellent resource, most highly recommended." --NJ Cops: New Jersey's Law Enforcement Journal -- Review

Are police marriages destined to fail? Will police work challenge the relationship and eventually change a loved one's personality? These are important questions for any considering a relationship with a police officer, and clinical psychologist Kirschman, who's been working with police families for 20 years, is in the perfect position to provide guidance and insights based on case histories. -- Midwest Book Review

This excellent book, packed with helpful information, and specific examples, is written for police families, and is also invaluable for mental health professionals working with them. Beautifully written and very absorbing to read, this book is focused on the psychological and emotional aspects of police work, and the ways in which these stresses impact family life. On every page Dr. Kirschman demonstrates a sensitive understanding of the men, women, and families involved in a public service career of almost overwhelming difficulty. I love A Cop is a gift of inestimable value to the families themselves, and to the mental health professionals who are attempting to understand and help them -- Emily B. Visher, Ph.D. and John S. Visher, M.D., Cofounders, Stepfamily Association of America

Review

"This is a great book! My husband is a rookie cop and I found the book extremely helpful. I'm recommending it to all the other cop spouses and family members I know!"--Liesa M. Persaud, Tulsa, Oklahoma

"I have been a peace officer for almost 27 years and have just recently started reading Dr. Kirschman's book. I wish I had read it a long time ago!"--Jerry Evagelatos, Fremont County Sheriff's Office, Riverton, Wyoming

"I Love a Cop is 'must' reading for police recruits, police officers and their family members. Dr. Kirschman's grasp, understanding, and description of how police work provides unique challenges to the officer and the law enforcement family is grounded in years of experience helping police officers and their families through issues and problems commonly encountered in police work. She not only identifies law enforcement career problems, but also offers simple and practical ways to prevent or remedy potential adverse effects of police work on the officer and family."--Gary Kaufmann, PsyD, Chief Police Psychologist, Behavior Science Section, Michigan Department of State Police

"I can't believe there is finally a training manual on how to survive in a law enforcement family. I wish this book had been available 20 years ago when I first started speaking to spouses about having a family member in law enforcement. This book is not only for the family, but for the officer as well. Reading this book could very well save a few police marriages, help the police officer and family cope through the various stages of the profession, as well as helping those planning on marrying into this calling know what is ahead. It would also be a tremendous help to those in law enforcement support groups as we struggle to understand the cop in our lives and be there for the new spouse or family member that doesn't yet understand. I feel this book is a must for the law enforcement officer as well as their family." --Karen Lippe, President, Grand Lodge Auxiliary, Fraternal Order of Police

"I consider reading Ellen Kirschman's I Love a Cop a necessary prerequisite for any clinician who comes into contact with those who work in law enforcement or their families. This should be required reading for all recruits and their families." --Lieutenant Al Benner, Ph.D., 30-year veteran, San Francisco Police Department

"This excellent book, packed with helpful information, and specific examples, is written for police families, and is also invaluable for mental health professionals working with them. Beautifully written and very absorbing to read, this book is focused on the psychological and emotional aspects of police work, and the ways in which these stresses impact family life. On every page Dr. Kirschman demonstrates a sensitive understanding of the men, women, and families involved in a public service career of almost overwhelming difficulty. I Love A Cop is a gift of inestimable value to the families themselves, and to the mental health professionals who are attempting to understand and help them." --Emily B. Visher, Ph.D. and John S. Visher, M.D., Cofounders, Stepfamily Association of America

"I Love A Cop should be required reading for all police recruits and their families. Dr. Kirschman has presented in a clear manner the issues facing police officers today - both on the job and at home. By openly discussing police family violence and the discrimination faced by women and minorities on the job, she has pushed aside the veil of secrecy that so often descends over these issues. And, best of all, she offers constructive steps that can be taken to lessen the impact of stress on police officers and their families." --Chief Penny Harrington, Director, National Center for Women and Policing

"Ellen has presented all the information I gathered in 21 years as a police officer's spouse. Now police spouses can have the advantage of knowing and understanding the stresses of police life before they experience it through the job. Living with a cop and not understanding what he or she goes through is like riding rapids down the Arkansas River without a raft. This book provides a life raft for police families to help them understand the profession. This book gives clear understanding of the police profession to help families cope with the toughest people job in the world. The law enforcement profession affords families a wonderful way of life, but it is a way of life and this book explains it all so well. Where were you Ellen Kirschman from 1970-1992? This book is long overdue!" --Suzie Sawyer, Executive Director, Concerns of Police Survivors.

"I Love A Cop is an impressive synthesis of relevant information within a context of empathic, experiential vignettes. Dr. Kirschman's book will be an invaluable tool for the Metro-Dade Police Department, both for training purposes with recruits and in-service officers, as well as a resource for my marital and couples patients."--Scott W. Allen, PhD, Staff Psychologist, Metro-Dade Police Department, Florida

". . .I would like to take this opportunity to publicly recognize Dr. Ellen Kirschman for her presentation entitled, Organizational Stress: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. Ellen read excerpts from chapters of her soon to be released book by the title of I Love a Cop, which is being published by Guilford Publications (1-800-365-7006) with an anticipated release for February, 1997. Rarely, if ever, have I seen a group of police psychologists so emotionally reactive. I can personally say I was profoundly affected by the experience. I also know many of my peers were similarly moved. Thank you Ellen for your gift of such an intense emotional communication." --Scott W. Allen, PhD, Staff Psychologist, Metro-Dade Police Department, Florida; [do not cite APA affiliation: Chair, Division 18, American Psychological Association, Police and Public Safety Psychology Section] in The Psychologist and Public Service Newsletter, Division 18 of APA.

"Not just theory, the stories she relates are drawn from the actual files of police psychologists from throughout the country. The entire book can be either read straight through from cover to cover or used as a handy manual by selecting specific chapters that apply to each individual's own specific problem or problems. ...easy-to-read. The book would make an excellent gift to any individual with a family member or loved one who is working in law enforcement. Highly recommended." --Fred R. Egloff, Law Enforcement Memorial Association, Spring '97.

" ...a moving, thorough, and honest resource for anyone who knows and/or loves a law enforcement officer. Whether you 'belong' to a rookie or veteran officer, Dr. Kirschman's matter-of-fact style of laying out situations, facts, and solutions is sure to provide you with a source of information. Accompanying this abundance of wisdom is an unmistakable sense of compassion and understanding. Utilizing real life examples, clinical knowledge and the depth of understanding that Dr. Kirschman brings to her subject matter, this book provides strategies and coping techniques for almost every situation." --Partners Off Duty Newsletter

"This book presents a masterful expose of the reality of being a police family. The author, in essence, has provided a survival manual for those who choose policing as their life work....This book can be useful in three areas: for police officers and their families, to help them deal with a difficult occupation; for mental health professionals and counselors, to give them an inside view of their police clients; and for researchers, who can benefit from the qualitative information provided in each chapter....This is an important book to read for young people who are contemplating a police career. It should be made a part of criminal justice courses on law enforcement. Police administrators and executives should also read this book, which will give them a better understanding of the line officer's predicament." --Criminal Justice Review

"I highly recommend it to anyone who has a police officer in their families, especially police wives....As a new wife in a police marriage, I found this book to be very supportive and informative....I appreciated the fact that all through the book the author reminds the reader that most problems with a police officer aren't so much due to the job, but due to how the person has been taught to act and cope with stress....This book is also a source of hope when one is faced with problems....it gives common sense answers to the problems we all face....Police work can be both rewarding and harmful to a family. This book gives the tools and resources to balance the two and should be read by both new and seasoned wives!" --www.policewives.com

"Finally, a straight-forward and honest look at issues affecting police officers, their families and social relationships. This book breaks through the stereotypes and reaches a "human" level....This book has something for everyone....Dr. Kirschman has done an exceptional job in providing a manual for anyone connected to law enforcement....It is well written, easy to read and filled with valuable information....Whether you are a police officer, family member, or friend, this book is a "must read." --California Peace Officers Association Newsletter

"A comprehensive, easily understood source of valuable information....Provides such worthwhile information that police administrators should seriously consider making it required reading for promotional examinations." --FBI Magazine

"The book offers a lot of good advice....Kirschman has obviously invested a great deal of time and effort in her research. Her analysis of police work and its effect on the individual officer and family life are right on the mark. In my opinion, the author has achieved her stated goal of offering a practical coping guide for police officers and the people who love them. An excellent resource, most highly recommended." --NJ Cops: New Jersey's Law Enforcement Journal

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 292 pages
• Publisher: The Guilford Press (March 7, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572301937
• ISBN-13: 978-1572301931
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #77,954 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #74 in	Books > Professional & Technical > Law > Criminal Law > Law Enforcement
  #86 in	Books > Nonfiction > Crime & Criminals > Law Enforcement
  #98 in	Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Political Science > Systems Of Government

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Not What I Expected From The Other Reviews, April 24, 2001

By A Customer

This book is excellent only if you love a cop who is either abusive, an alcoholic or who has been shot. I am married to a caring and happy law enforcement officer and it didn't apply. Only 60 or so pages covers some of the everyday stresses of a cop's life, which is why I bought the book. Even that section didn't help me to empathize with the difficulties of my husband's job because it told stories anyone could guess existed. The rest covered how to identify abuse, alcoholism, and extreme emotional difficulties like how to identify if someone is at risk for suicide. This book will scare anyone away from the thought of entering law enforcement. They'll think they will inevitably turn into a monster. I want my money back.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars I Love A Cop, July 31, 2001

By A Customer

THis book was insightful to me as someone whose father was a cop for thirty years, advised me to never date a cop, and I reached the age of 40 before I decided to ignore my dad's advice. I wish the book had focused more on dating, particularly, since the divorce rate is so high which likely means there are a significant number of police who are in relationships vs. marriage. Because I am not married to him, the support groups are minimal. After dating ( 8 months) this 44 year old cop who's been on the force for 23 years, I was shocked to learn of his "secret" life of spending time in Reno and areas outside of Sacramento where there are numerous girlie type clubs and where there is illicit sexual activity. The author touched upon some of this, however, I am hoping that she will come out with another book that addresses some of these issues more in depth. Because of his experiences, our sexual life has become difficult as it appears to represent a kind of activity commensurate with the action of police life. More definitely needs to be written on the subject of being in relationship with a police. I Love A Cop represents a good beginning. Incidentally, I gave the book to him for reading and he was taken aback by some of the candor that allowed him to see elements of himself.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for the family members or loved ones of a cop, January 16, 1999

By	Laurel Kagel - Goddess in Training (Lakewood, CA United States) - See all my reviews

This book is an excellent resource for the families and/or loved ones of police officers. It goes into great detail about the psychological and emotional changes that all law enforcement personnel go through during their years on the job. The author helps you to understand and learn to cope with these changes. She also addresses the personal dangers the sometimes come with this type of high-risk job, i.e. alcohol/drug abuse and domestic abuse. There is also a special section on the added challenges that face women, minority and gay/lesbian cops, as well as cop couples.