The Intimacy Paradox: Personal Authority in the Family System (Paperback)

by Donald S. Williamson (Author), Donald Williamson (Author) "Following the good example of painter Paul-Elime Borduas, quoted above, it is my goal to state the essential in an increasingly simple way..." (more)
Key Phrases: personal authority work, personal authority method, intergenerational family theory, Northern Ireland, Murray Bowen, Roman Catholic (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
'This fascinating and provocative book reflects a wide and deep understanding of systems ideas. Williamson asks the question: 'How does one leave home emotionally and yet remain lovingly connected with one's family of origin?'...His is a thought-provoking and controversial view...full of humor and clinical nuggets as well as profound ideas.' - Monica McGoldrick, LCSW, PhD (h.c.) 'Any person who has ever seen or heard Don Williamson speak knows he is a master at melding his personal life with his theoretical and therapeutic work. In The Intimacy Paradox, Williamson has succeeded in writing what he does so well in his presentations. This book is the authoritative work on the concept of personal authority in the family system.' - Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 'An interesting, theoretically sophisticated, and useful guide.' - AFTA Newsletter 'Williamson is utterly persuasive when making the case that achieving wholeness of the self cannot be best built on separation of that self from the parents of origin... He makes his points in a context of respect for the client, the client's spouse, and the client's parents albeit a context that is open to play and humor and not taking itself too seriously. Williamson not too seriously does very serious work.' - Contemporary Psychology

Review

"This fascinating and provocative book reflects a wide and deep understanding of systems ideas. Williamson asks the question: `How does one leave home emotionally and yet remain lovingly connected with one's family of origin?' Drawing from many different conceptual frameworks, Williamson revises Bowen's concept of differentiation as the life cycle stage of developing 'personal authority'--a concept that combines differentiation and intimacy. His is a thought-provoking and controversial view, well presented--an unabashedly how-to book, full of humor and clinical nuggets as well as profound ideas about how mid-life adults can make a political shift in their family relationships, through which they come to relate to their 'former parents' as peers."--Monica McGoldrick, M.S.W.

"In this illuminating and intriguing book, Williamson articulates his well delineated ideas on how to intervene to promote the co-evolution of self-differentiation from the family of origin with the establishment of closeness as an adult within the family system. His comprehensive model, derived from long years of clinical and supervisory experiences and analytic reflections on these experiences, is presented in a compelling, highly readable fashion. Important reading for anyone interested in intimate and dynamically evolving personal relationships.' --Florence Kaslow, Ph.D.

"An excellent and thoughtful text--clearly written. A good tool for students' reflection on their family of origin." --Joseph Horak, Wayne State University (Grand Rapids Satellite), Graduate School of Social Work, Grand Rapids, Michigan

"The Intimacy Paradox is designed to help both the therapist and lay reader understand the process of separating emotionally from one's family of origin...This book would be useful for those who are interested in a 'how-to' book for changing parent-adult child relationships....provides numerous examples of work on parent-adult child relationships as well as various exercises one can employ to bring about change in these relationships.... provides a good introduction to Dr. Williamson's approach to working with the middle generation. Those drawn to this area of practice will find the book of interest." --Journal of Family Psychotherapy

"The reader will find much to think about in terms of her or his own growth as a person and a therapist. Williamson's extensive experience with clients shines through in the clinical examples. A chapter on the author's own family-of-origin work is especially enjoyable." --The American Journal of Family Therapy

"Although the author describes this as 'an unashamedly how-to book,' there is a balancing of theory and procedure in the volume that makes any simple review of it less than optimal....Williamson is utterly persuasive when making the case that achieving wholeness of the self cannot be best built on separation of that self from the parents of origin. However, equally compelling is the idea that full intimacy is a sharing of equals, not parent to child (or vice versa) by person to person. He also makes the point that face-to-face questioning, disclosure, dialogue, and acceptance (not necessarily agreement) is a powerful and effective vehicle for the resolution of family-of-origin issues. And he makes his points in a context of respect for the client, the client's spouse, and the client's parents--albeit a context that is open to play and humor and not taking itself too seriously. Williamson not too seriously does very serious work.' --Contemporary Psychology

"Any person who has ever seen or heard Don Williamson speak knows he is a master at melding his persona life with his theoretical and therapeutic work. In THE INTIMACY PARADOX, Williamson has succeeded in writing what he does so well in his presentations. This book is the authoritative work on the concept of personal authority in the family system....Most people will find the book personally satisfying. It is written in a warm, relaxed style which is not too stiff in its explanation of theory, but not so relaxed that it loses clarity. In other words, THE INTIMACY PARADOX is just right and will be the reference for Williamson's work for years to come." --Journal of Marital and Family Therapy

"....An interesting, theoretically sophisticated, and useful guide." --AFTA Newsletter

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 305 pages
• Publisher: The Guilford Press; 1 edition (July 3, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 157230815X
• ISBN-13: 978-1572308152
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #343,918 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Personal Authority, April 26, 2000

By	Dale Irving (Sydney, Nova Scotia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Intimacy Paradox: Personal Authority in the Family System (Hardcover)

This book has been most helpful for me in developing a better sense of myself by exploring my place in the family system in which I grew up. In particular it enabled me to claim my own authority in relationship to my parents. Williamson's theory is that it is essential to find a way of eliminating the inter-generational hierarchical boundary that is created in the parent-child relationship in order to fully develop our sense of personal authority. The goal is to find a means to begin to relate with parents as peers once we have attained adulthood. When this is accomplished, paradoxically the intimacy deepens as this new relationship develops.