Making Loss Matter: Creating Meaning in Difficult Times (Hardcover)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Early in his book, Wolpe, rabbi of Sinai Temple in Los Angeles, shares a sobering thought: "Losses are the stuff of life. They will not miss you, they will not steer around those whom you love." The author's search for meaningful ways to deal with loss came soon after his wife, Ellie, was diagnosed with cancer. He admits that his "life was suddenly full of shadows," and he feared that his vibrant wife might die. As Wolpe struggles with his fear of loss and with the daily crises brought by Ellie's illness, he realizes that facing loss requires courage and love. Although he had been writing this book before his wife's illness, her cancer gave him a new perspective on facing suffering. Wolpe uses personal anecdotes, ancient stories of suffering and joy, the sagacious parables of rabbis and the wisdom of poets and philosophers to explore the nature of loss and the ways we can respond meaningfully to it. He notes that throughout life we experience a variety of losses, some trivial and others grave, such as the loss of home, dreams, self, faith, love and life. On the loss of dreams, for instance, Wolpe writes, "Dreams can ennoble us even when they fail.... Each dream can be a step on the ladder we climb in order to become the person we were meant to be." In order for loss to be meaningful, he contends, we must not run from it but incorporate its scars deeply in our lives, face it with faith and courage and celebrate the new identities that we derive from our experience. Although Wolpe really offers no new ideas about coping with loss, his easy manner and eloquent storytelling will help readers suffering from loss feel as if they have found a companion on their journeys. (Sept.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Rabbi Wolpe weaves together a finely constructed tapestry of biblical stories, Western and Eastern philosophy and literature, and incidents from his own life to explain how to deal with the pain of personal loss, whether of love, life, home, faith, or dreams. Rabbi Harold Kushner's When Bad Things Happen to Good People could be considered the predecessor of Wolfe's discussion of personal loss and ways to turn it into strength and hope. Both rabbis write in a clear, straightforward style, accessible to Jewish and non-Jewish readers alike. However, by stressing his own life and losses, Wolfe gives depth and meaning to concepts that might otherwise remain abstract and theoretical. Wolpe's strength is in showing how a caring and direct approach to dealing with losses can reenergize the human spirit and give us courage to continue living life to the fullest. Strongly recommended for general religion/spiritual collections in most libraries.AOlga B. Wise, Compaq Computers Inc., Austin, TX
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 226 pages
• Publisher: Riverhead Hardcover; First Edition edition (August 30, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1573221414
• ISBN-13: 978-1573221412
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #712,278 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

48 of 51 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Exceeding the Title's Agenda..., December 15, 1999

By	E. Ihlenfeld (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I made two assumptions about this book before reading it: a) that it would be a book about spirituality (since a Rabbi wrote it) and b) that it would be about death and mourning. While there is certainly allusion to both of these, I found it much more compelling as a work of psychology, an archaeology of "loss" as an existential proposition rather than some vacuous "how to cope" cheer. For those that eschew the popular self-help canon, this book is a compelling resource as it grounds its propositions in the wisdom of historical, secular literary figures as well the usual roll call from the Torah and Talmud, and tempers the admixture with sensitivity and common sense. The book's uplifting quality results not just from the reiteration of the sages, but from its baseline humanity, the degree to which it addresses the decent human being coming to terms with mediocrity, foolishness, defects of character, and/or miscarried hopes that drain the optimism from the average life. The reconciliation it ultimately espouses, the "making loss matter" aspect, reinvests the individual with the perspective necessary to manage not just the "big deaths," but the more subtle demises, the death-by-papercut drainage of our happiness, individuality, and sense of connection to something greater than ourselves.

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wisdom and comfort for anyone, February 9, 2000

By	William Caldwell "[e-mail]" (Shawnee-on-Delaware, PA United States) - See all my reviews

First I checked it out of the library serendipitously; then I had to own it and purchased my own copy from Amazon. Within a week I had referred it to a number of people whose lives it touched. There is no one who doesn't need this book. It is 21st century wisdom with the depth of ancient sages and vast scope of religous tradition behind it. Wolpe understands life. He crafts sentences that go to the core of the matter of loss and life and difficulty and human nature. Though I am not Jewish, I relished getting out my Old Testament and re-reading the stories of Abraham, Jacob, Job and others after reading Making Loss Matter. As one who has an interest in things spiritual and God-based all her life, I find this book among the best I have ever read and cannot recommend it highly enough--to ANYONE who is human.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A universal spiritual guide, July 28, 2000

By	George W. Fisk (St. Joseph, MI USA) - See all my reviews

From the viewpoint of forty years as a liberal Christian minister, reading Rabbi David Wolpe's MAKNG LOSS MATTER was a pleasant journey. Generally speaking, Christians believe in a future existence beyond death, while Jews do not. Wolpe leaves a door open when he writes, "The soft insistent voice of something more whispers in our ear. Can this be all?" Wolpe's open heart and lucid prose touched me time and time again. I have underlined many of his thoughs such as, "I am a rabbi because there is in me, as there is in you, a child, a child that knows that somewhere we not alone, that this world is bathed in miracles, and that for every pain there is beauty, for every loss there is love, and for every waste there is wonder." All members of the human race can be lifted by his beautiful lines such as, "Refusing to succumb to despair is the greatest act of faith. We may despair for a moment. Darkness seems ascendant. We cry out. But stirring is the certainty that the pain of a particuar loss is a sign of having loved. Where the capacity to love has been, it can be again." Not just for Jews, his book speaks to all who suffer or rejoice.