The Wisdom of Forgiveness: Intimate Journeys and Conversations (Hardcover)

~ Dalai Lama (Author), Chan Victor (Author) "The alarm rang at 4:00 A.M. sharp..." (more)
Key Phrases: black mug, maroon robes, meditation room, Dalai Lama, Tenzin Geyche, Hong Kong (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

"Do you hate the Chinese?" Chan asked the Dalai Lama when they first met in India in 1972. It was a live question, since Chan hailed from the country that had forced the Tibetan spiritual leader into exile and subjugated the Tibetan people. The Dalai Lama replied immediately with the English word "no," then stated through an interpreter that he had forgiven the Chinese and did not blame China's people. Drawing on Buddhist principles, this book loosely discusses His Holiness's ideas on forgiveness, though Chan presents them gently through stories, not didactically as a step-by-step how-to manual. For example, one chapter arises in the context of the Dalai Lama's travels in war-torn Belfast, where he spoke about forgiveness to the families of victims of terrorist attacks. To research this book, Chan traveled with the Dalai Lama off and on for several years, spent time with him at home and conducted numerous interviews. Apart from the expected teachings on forgiveness, what comes through most clearly is the personality of the Dalai Lama himself: his humor, playfulness and joy. We learn that he had something of a temper as a young man and that he can't resist pulling men's beards. Somehow, the book's serious call to forgiveness becomes all the more engaging and possible because of the Dalai Lama's own lighthearted spirit.
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Review

...filled with intimate experiences and conversations that bring this holy man into vivid view... -- Cleveland Plain Dealer, August 5, 2004

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Riverhead Hardcover (August 5, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1573222771
• ISBN-13: 978-1573222778
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #280,117 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Different View of His Holiness, September 29, 2005

By	abunaiyo (Southern California) - See all my reviews

Imagine for a moment that you have a good friend who just happens to be in the Dalai Lama's inner circle of friends. Now imagine that you have the opportunity to spend time with this friend, hearing about his travels and conversations with His Holiness, relishing every minute detail.

This is the feel that I got while reading Victor Chan's book. He presents a very personal account of his time spent with the Dalai Lama, unlike other books that tend to be more academic or intellectual. As a result, the reader is able to see the Dalai Lama in a different light. It's like viewing Mount Fuji from an angle different from the picture postcard; still the same beautiful mountain but with new angles and lines.

Some of Chan's descriptions border on the unbelievable. Did His Holiness really say that about the gun? And did he really say that about wanting to exact revenge on the Chinese soldier (if a certain situation arose)? And did His Holiness really say that to Oprah? These passages give "The Wisdom of Forgiveness" its uniqueness and color.

Some readers may criticize Chan's personal descriptions, especially his focus on his Chinese ancestry and how ironic that he, of all people, has become a close friend of His Holiness. I was not bothered by it; it seemed consistent with and relevant to his very personal account.

For those seeking general knowledge of the Dalai Lama, read "Freedom in Exile". To learn his world view, check out "Ethics For the New Millenium". But for a personal, sometimes surprising, and enjoyable account of the Dalai Lama, consider reading this book.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Encounters with the Dalai Lama, June 2, 2005

By	Robin Friedman (Washington, D.C. United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

There is a Hasidic story that tells how some devoted students followed their Rebbe (a Hasidic teacher and spiritual master) as closely as they could during the course of a day -- not only to classes and meals, but at home, shopping trips, in the bedroom, in the bathroom and the like. One of the students was asked what purpose this attention served during the times the Rebbe was not engaged in teaching. The Hasid replied that "I don't follow the Rebbe just to hear him teach. I follow him to learn how he ties his shoe-laces".

I was reminded of this story in reading Victor Chan's account of his meetings with H.H. the Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism. Mr. Chan wants to impress upon the reader the force of associating with a holy person. There is much to be learned from the contact with such a person, with observing his demeanor, small talk, daily routines and attitudes towards others. Spiritual growth and inspiration can be imparted from these contacts, just as with formal teachings.

Mr. Chan first met the Dalai Lama in 1972 in a roundabout, virtually accidental way following his graduation from college. He subsequently became interested in Buddhism and Tibet, writing a travel guidebook to the latter, and gaining the confidence and friendship of the Dalai Lama. Mr. Chan's book, "The Wisdom of Forgiveness" consists of nineteen short chapters in which he accompanies the Dalai Lama on various journeys, interviews him repeatedly and at length, and shares in his day-to-day activities.

Thus, the book shifts from place-to-place as Mr Chan joins the Dalai Lama on trips to Ireland, Norway, on pilgrimages to Buddhist holy sites in India, and in the Dalai Lama's headquarters in Dharamsala, India. We meet many members of the Dalai Lama's entourage, including interpreters, advisors, and bodyguards, as well as a variety of other people famous, such as Desomond Tutu and Oprah Winfrey, and obscure.

The book gives a good picture of the Dalai Lama in teaching and in character. In his discussions with Mr. Chan, he discusses at length the value of a gracious and forgiving heart particularly as it involves in the Dalai Lama's own case the Chinese communists who overran Tibet in the 1950s and destroyed its holy places. We also receive teachings on emptiness and on controlling one's mind.

The book shows admirably the Dalai Lama's sometimes unpredictable sense of humor, his ability to put people at ease, the unpretentious manner in which he wears his learning and his practice, his serenity, and his devotion. We learn a great deal of the Dalai Lama in the closing chapters of the book when we see him respond to a serious, potentially fatal illness. There are also good moments in the final chapters of the book when the Dalai Lama turns the tables on Mr. Chan and asks him questions on what Buddhism has meant to him and on how his contact with the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan people has influenced his life.

The book is a bit short, and Mr Chan seems to wander at times. I would have liked to hear more of the Dalai Lama. Thus, I think some of the books in which the Dalai Lama speaks and teaches for himself are a better way of getting to know him than is this account. Still, this book is worth reading.

The title of the book, and much of its early chapters, concentrate on the importance of being able to forgive. A famous verse in the "Dhammapada", a collection of short verses which is part of the Scripture of all forms of Buddhism speaks eloquently of the importance of forgiveness and of not bearing grudges. It reads:

He abused me, he stuck me, he overpowerered me
he robbed me. Those who harbour such thoughts
do not still their hatred. (Dmammapada, v.3)

The Dalai Lama's character and his life, as reflected in this book, offer living testimony to the power of forgiveness.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring Role Model, December 23, 2004

By	S. Thompson "Book Lover" (Columbus) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I too am a loving fan of the Dalai Lama and have read 3 other books. I was particularly interested in reading this book as I ended a loveless friendship after 27 years and wanted to quelch the flames of resentment. The book is well written and a wonderful look at the wise heart of the Dalai Lama. I loved reading it! That said, this is not a self-help book. It reviews compassion as the path to forgiveness, but it doesn't tell you how -- that's up to the reader to find out through their own journey. It is an inspiring book and a heart-warming read.