Giving up America (Paperback)

by Pearl Abraham (Author) "The first morning Daniel unhinged the living-room doors and windows, which were sheathed in smoked mirrors..." (more)
Key Phrases: running clothes, Peter Thrippen, New York City, Miss America (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Pearl Abraham's critically acclaimed first novel, The Romance Reader, follows a Hasidic girl caught between the strictures of tradition and the yearnings of her own heart. In her second book, the author tells a different kind of coming-of-age story: Giving Up America charts with heartbreaking assurance the disintegration of a marriage and the loss of faith that inevitably results. Like Abraham's first young heroine, Deena Binet grew up in a strict but loving Hasidic household. Yet when her family returned to Israel after a few years in the United States, Deena stayed behind, and since then has become nothing if not American. She works in advertising, learns to wear jeans and prides herself on remembering the names of rock bands. Even when she marries an Orthodox Jew, she does so against her father's wishes. A Hasidic scholar, he sees that the sum of the Hebrew letters of the couple's names equals the numerical value of the Hebrew word for pain, "which is what this marriage will bring you."

Although her husband, Daniel, keeps kosher and observes the Sabbath, he does so "mechanically," with none of the joy that marked Deena's childhood religious celebrations: "What did remain were the things she couldn't do." Nonetheless, they have been together for seven years before trouble appears. In this case, trouble takes the form of a leggy blonde temp from Daniel's office, a Southern-accented would-be Miss America named Jill. She is, they agree, "fun," in a way none of their other friends are. Together with Jill and her friend Ann the couple tries skiing, takes up dancing--and then Daniel falls in love. As their relationship falls apart, so too does Daniel's attachments to the forms of his faith. He breaks the Sabbath, stops wearing his yarmulke, and starts eating shellfish: "He'd accept no burdens, not Jewishness, not marriage." Faced with the impending breakup, Deena must decide whether to retreat back into her past or forward into an unknowable future.

Abraham's clear-eyed, unsentimental novel is, more than anything else, about that choice: between the safety of childhood and the uncertainty of independence, between the religious life and the secular world. Flying over the ocean on her way to visit her parents, Deena dreams of a ship with Daniel and all her American friends on it, pulling away and leaving her floating alone in the waves: "She had to save her strength and learn to live in the water. She would become a fish." In Giving Up America, Pearl Abraham draws a subtle and compassionate portrait of marriage, divorce, and a woman at sea. --Mary Park --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
Abraham's first novel, The Romance Reader (LJ 7/95), was a word-of-mouth hit, attracting readers with its unusual tale of a young girl's rebellion against her Hasidic family. In Giving Up America, another young Hasidic woman is also caught between the traditions of her upbringing and the secular American world in which she chooses to live. When Deena decides to marry Daniel, a modern Orthodox Jew, her father predicts that the marriage is doomed. As the novel opens, the young couple, married for seven years, are restoring their newly purchased Brooklyn house. Everything seems idyllic, but when Daniel brings home two co-workers, Jill and Ann, the tiny cracks opening in their marriage rupture into large fissures. Deena suspects Daniel of having an affair with Jill, the Southern shiksa. Abraham is most effective in depicting the daily irritations that can breed contempt and kill a marriage, but the last third of the novel feels rushed and contrived. And most of her characters are flat and sketchily drawn; in particular, Jill is a cliche, the Jewish male fantasy that Philip Roth has used to greater effect in his novels. Still, Abraham is a compelling storyteller. For larger collections.
-?Wilda Williams, "Library Journal"
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Riverhead Trade (September 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1573227528
• ISBN-13: 978-1573227520
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 2.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #753,047 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars BITTERSWEET UNDERSTANDING AND PENETRATING INSIGHT, March 20, 2001

By	Gail Cooke (TX, USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)    (COMMUNITY FORUM 04)

The sad dissolution of a marriage is often fodder for fiction, but seldom is this experience related with the bittersweet understanding and penetrating insight found in Giving Up America, a second novel by Pearl Abraham.

As in her well received debut, The Romance Reader, Ms. Abraham's latest offering is framed by Jewish tradition, the dichotomy between Hasidic and Orthodox beliefs, the struggle to reconcile centuries old values with contemporary secular life in that quintessential street-of-dreams city - New York.

Despite paternal objections, Deena has married Daniel, an Orthodox Jew. Her father, a scholarly Hasidic, opposed the marriage for Kabbalistic reasons, citing numerics to warn her that the sum of the numbers assigned to the couple's names forms the Hebrew word for "pain." "Within a mere two years," he cautioned, "you'll know it was never meant to be. But it will take more than two years to correct your error."

Deena becomes a copy writer for an ad agency, employment she considers irrelevant, "The best ad was only an ad; and it was disposable." After seven years, the pair buy the home of their dreams, an older house in need of restoration. Finding satisfaction in the labor of "scraping, stripping, sanding and painting," Deena is content. But Daniel grows restless, saying he works hard enough during the week, and wants something else on weekends. He suggests inviting Jill, the new secretary at his office, and Ann, her roommate, to dinner. A former North Carolina department store model and Miss America wannabe, Jill laughs easily, bringing a heretofore unknown insouciance into their home. As the friendship between the four grows, Daniel and Deena attempt ballroom dancing lessons, even buy a Walkman in their attempts to become au courant.

But this is a mix that curdles rather than blends. As their habits become more secularized, as Deena and Daniel discover more about themselves individually, they appreciate each other less. Daniel, Deena opines "fastened onto bad news like it was some kind of insurance." While Daniel sees his wife as difficult, obsessed with running.

Eventually, Deena suspects that Daniel has become romantically involved with Jill. There are late night whispered phone calls, and his admission that he has kissed her. Fleeing from a situation she does not know how to resolve, Deena moves into a co-worker's Manhattan apartment. When she sees her friend's name by an entrance bell, "...suddenly Deena wanted her own name affixed on a door somewhere in this city. She'd never lived alone."

While Daniel, "...frightened and exhilarated at once," pulls off his ever present yarmulke, "the constant cover a lid, and walked like that bareheaded under the blue-ink sky, under the stars, under the eyes of God."

Finding her freedom intoxicating, Deena is attracted to another man, and refuses to return home. When pleas from Daniel's family are ignored, Daniel phones to say that he has spoken with the rabbi, "I'm filing for divorce. I have to....the local rabbi advises a quick divorce to minimize the sin."

"A divorce," Deena thinks. "As easy as that. She wouldn't have to ask for it....The rabbi advised and Daniel agreed. He was a victim, a man sinned against by his wife, which couldn't be allowed."

Ms. Abraham, the daughter of a Chassidic Orthodox rabbi, knows well the world of which she writes. Giving Up America may represent many who walk a tight rope, attempting to balance a life circumscribed by tradition with their desire to enjoy the bounty proffered by a millennium-bound secular world. Nonetheless, the author has crafted a moving story of becoming, of growing self-awareness, related in subtle, tempered tones. Ms. Abraham's prose makes no strident demands. It doesn't have to. Her suggestions are powerful.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Inspecting the foundations of marriage and faith, September 8, 1999

By A Customer

Pearl Abraham's second book, Giving Up America, illustrates the gradual tears in moral fiber that people of every background may experience when an important relationship is tested. While Pearl Abraham's book deals with the testing of the marriage of a young Hasidic wife and her Orthodox Jewish husband by his attraction to a Southern beauty, it illuminates as well the testing of other relationships.

Deena and Daniel do not enjoy the support of an involved family. Each belongs to a separate community of work friends who owe their allegiance to the individual instead of the couple. The "foreign" natures of the couple and the Southern beauty they befriend do not threaten the marriage; but the lack of family, societal and cultural support helps to make it vulnerable.

As is the case for many melting pot marriages, the marriage of Deena and Daniel is tested at its very foundation. Abraham inspects every crack, every weakness, every short cut taken, every neglected aspect of maintenance in the marriage. Giving Up America made me wonder whether a couple who attend to their relationship with the same devout attention lavished on their home might have a better chance no matter how different the persons' background.

In The Romance Reader, Abraham's protagonist breaks with tradition when tradition collides with her dreams. In Giving Up America, the bonds of tradition wear away long before daily friction begins to whittle away at the protagonist's dreams. Readers don't need to be Jewish to identify with the characters. They need only be willing to observe the often infinitesimal crumbling that undermines marriage and faith so painfully.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars giving up, March 8, 2000

By	tina b (chicago,Illinois) - See all my reviews

this book is not really about a man leaving his wife for a model. That would be a very shortsighted and superficial way to look at this book. I am a 27 yr old catholic woman but I could really relate to Deena. She is really someone caught between two worlds like many women my age who felt like marriage was the answer but found out it can keep you from being a truly magnificent woman and forces you to compromise much of your inner integrity. As a first generation american albeit of irish descent, I could also relate to her feelings about keeping hasidic tradition as opposed to the more americanized orthodox jewish ways. This is something that I also have to deal with in my search for a life partner because most american men do not understand the way that I was brought up and I find it difficult to find a good alignment to my ideas and feelings. Americans do not realize how difficult it can be at times to truly blend in on a very deep level. The character was very interesting and really is on a journey to live with integrity as a unique individual in the american landscape. The title of reflects the main characters toying with the idea of just giving up and moving back to Jerusalem and living a traditional life. I will not give away the ending but obviously this book spoke to me and I look forward to reading other novels by this author.