Ordinary Grace: Lessons from Those Who Help Others in Extraordinary Ways (Paperback)

~ Kathleen A. Brehony (Author) "My interest in studying what makes people express goodness goes back a long way..." (more)
Key Phrases: ordinary grace, transplant coordinator, United States, New York, Big David (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Kathleen Brehony, a Jungian clinical psychiatrist, refuses to believe that acts of kindness are exceptional or even random. Instead, she offers testimony to the instinctual human desire to be compassionate, forgiving, merciful, and tolerant. Brehony offers real-life stories to demonstrate the tenacity and pervasiveness of ordinary grace and altruism. She takes us into the homes of everyday heroes, such as a New Jersey couple who adopted four HIV-infected children from a Romanian orphanage. We enter inner-city neighborhoods and small-town high schools and find out that the plight of today's youth is not all doom and gloom, as the media would suggest. In fact, many teens are spiritually thriving as a result of their own acts of kindness--the tutoring they offer younger children or the food they deliver to their elders.

If you're looking for an antedote to the daily barrage of cynical and pessimistic claims about human nature, this will do the trick. There's even a chapter devoted to showing readers how to create more grace in everyday life. Through strong storytelling supported by extensive research, Brehony makes a convincing case for the inborn and sacred goodness of humanity. --Gail Hudson --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

In an attempt to discover what motivates and inspires altruism in some people, Jungian-oriented clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Brehony (Awakening at Midlife) offers examples of human graciousness in matters large and small. She tells of organ donation between casual acquaintances, of organizations started by those in grief that now help thousands struggling with similar losses, of individuals who have devoted their lives to bringing aid to others. Unfortunately, no matter how heartwarming, her finding that people can choose to act helpfully and generously rather than according to their less benevolent instincts seems too simplistic: "Each of us has the power to determine what he or she chooses to tune in to." Brehony briefly discusses the Jungian concept of our shadow side, the dark opposite of our daily, public persona. In her view, finding grace in our own lives is possible by becoming aware of the presence of our shadow side and opening ourselves to others. Readers seeking reassurance that people can be good as easily as not will find inspiration in these personal stories; they may even be motivated to their own good deeds by Brehony's "strategies" for grace at the close of the book ("Be prepared for pain as well as joy," "Simplify and scale down"). Agent, Lisa Ross.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 242 pages
• Publisher: Riverhead Trade (March 6, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1573227862
• ISBN-13: 978-1573227865
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #547,640 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Makes you proud to be a human being, July 15, 2000

By	Charley from Nevada (Reno, Nevado) - See all my reviews

My church has used this book as an example of the kind of book material we want our congregation to be acquainted with. We use the book as a compass and guidline for encouraging acts of human kindness. We agree with Robert Urich's comments that it was the most important book he had ever read. We feel the same way.

It's hard to believe another reviewer said that having quotes from authorities from long ago and across the seas is a stupid thing. I believe we get the best knowledge and insight from those whose reputations have lasted for centuries and from different cultures.

One reviewer said that the book did not explain why people did wht they did to have "ordinary grace". This is definitely not true. In fact it is the basis for our forums on this subject. The previous reviewer must have stopped reading half way through the book. Chapter 9, "What I've learned about Ordinary Grace" is a case in point. On page 167, the Author identifies 7 characteristics of those who have this gift: 1-They feel at a deep level a storng connection with other people. 2-Abiding faith in other people. 3- Believe that helping others is not a service but a privilege and blessing. 4- They are humble. 5-They have as sense of humor and give the impression of being psychologically happy people. 6- Impulses to do good are immediate and instinctive. 7 Able to turn negatives, even suffering into positive energy and grace. The Authors Chapter 10 is called finding Grace in your own life. This is a working guide that individuals and groups can utilize in developing a more caring and sharing world for all of us to live in. A book like Ordinary Grace must be read reflectively and not just skimmed through. It's important with this book to read it through. This is where you can apply what others have learned to increase your own level of Ordinary Grace. Our group has also utilized this Arthor's previous book, Awakening at Midlife which also contains many pages of work sessions for groups to use together or individually. Shelley Deesgud

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Riveting chronicles about people who make a difference, June 19, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Ordinary Grace (Hardcover)

Kathleen Brehony's book makes reminds you each day about the truism; "if not me Who,if not now, When! The author makes a strong argument for Who really benefits most, the receiver or the giver. The Giver wins each time in Ordinary Grace.

Kathleen Brehony's Ordinary Grace just makes you feel good all over. I have sent copies along with letters to several friends who could have been in her book and it gave me an excuse to register how much I have been touched by THEIR ORDINARY GRACE!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars 'Ordinary' acts of kindness, without the chicken soup, June 16, 2004

By	Kate Westrich "Bibliophile" (Cincinnati, Ohio United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Plato said, "To know the good is to do the good." Kathleen Brehony explores people's goodness further with her new book, Ordinary Grace.

Rather than dive into the sea of books with shorts stories about good deeds, Grace instead becomes a study of what motivates people to do good.

Brehony is a clinical psychologist who wanted to prove that acts of kindness are abundant and find out why. Her book mixes theory and analysis, intermingled with refreshing stories of goodness.

The prevailing discovery Grace makes is that people who perform acts of kindness do so because of a great faith in the human spirit - people who trust and believe in other people.

The stories Brehony tells are all striking in that they describe amazing generosity. She tells of people who donate kidneys to casual friends, adopt four children with AIDS, start after-school programs for troubled youth, teach gang members how to bake so they can raise money... the list goes on.

What makes Grace stand apart from its similar predecessors (the Chicken Soup empire) is the editorializing between the stories. Brehony doesn't just present readers with an act of kindness - she also explains the intent behind the act. She interviewed the people she writes about and makes their story more complete, rather than just telling what they did. She supplies the motive as well as the action.

By using different theorists, poems and quotes as support, Brehony writes a well-rounded book. Though Grace includes many of her own personal stories, which take away slightly from the author's credibility, the main message shines through.

Brehony has discovered 13 steps she thinks will help anyone find ordinary grace in their own life: "Wake up. Discover what you love. Be prepared for pain as well as joy. Start where you are. Simplify and scale down. Recognize the spiritual ties between people. Understand and celebrate the differences between people. Put belief into action. Find grace in small things. Build on your immediate, personal connections to others. Model good behavior."

She could add one more: Read this book.