Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box (Hardcover)

by Arbinger Institute (Author), The Arbinger Institute (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Using the story/parable format so popular these days, Leadership and Self-Deception takes a novel psychological approach to leadership. It's not what you do that matters, say the authors (presumably plural--the book is credited to the esteemed Arbinger Institute), but why you do it. Latching onto the latest leadership trend won't make people follow you if your motives are selfish--people can smell a rat, even one that says it's trying to empower them. The tricky thing is, we don't know that our motivation is flawed. We deceive ourselves in subtle ways into thinking that we're doing the right thing for the right reason. We really do know what the right thing to do is, but this constant self-justification becomes such an ingrained habit that it's hard to break free of it--it's as though we're trapped in a box, the authors say.

Learning how the process of self-deception works--and how to avoid it and stay in touch with our innate sense of what's right--is at the heart of the book. We follow Tom, an old-school, by-the-book kind of guy who is a newly hired executive at Zagrum Corporation, as two senior executives show him the many ways he's "in the box," how that limits him as a leader in ways he's not aware of, and of course how to get out. This is as much a book about personal transformation as it is about leadership per se. The authors use examples from the characters' private as well as professional lives to show how self-deception skews our view of ourselves and the world and ruins our interactions with people, despite what we sincerely believe are our best intentions.

While the writing won't make John Updike lose any sleep, the story entertainingly does the job of pulling the reader in and making a potentially abstruse argument quite enjoyable. The authors have a much better ear for dialogue than is typical of the genre (the book is largely dialogue), although a certain didactic tone creeps in now and then. But ultimately it's a hopeful, even inspiring read that flows along nicely and conveys a message that more than a few managers need to hear. --Pat McGill

Review
"... not just another book on leadership. It identifies the central issue of all performance. I recommend it very highly." -- Brad Pelo, President and CEO, NextPage

"... shows why the truth about failure is so difficult to see, and explains how to overcome such self-deception." -- Dave Checketts, President and CEO, Madison Square Garden Corp.

"Arbinger taught our leadership team at LensCrafters and the difference...was remarkable. This is the...key to productivity and creativity." -- Dave Browne, former President and CEO, LensCrafters

"Don't be fooled by the title--this book is for everyone. I can't think about my life the same way again." -- Jack Anderson, Syndicated Columnist and Pulitzer Prize Winner

"Fascinating, thought provoking, and insightful! Once I started reading, I couldnt put it down." -- Steven C. Wheelwright, Professor and Senior Associate Dean, Harvard Business School

"From boosting the bottom line to increasing personal joy, this book shows the way." -- Bruce L. Christensen, former President and CEO, PBS

"I love this book. Like truth itself, it reveals more with each re-examination. I recommend it highly." -- Doug Hauth, Sales Vice President, Lucent Technologies

"I've known the work of the Arbinger Institute for years. Arbinger's ideas are profound, with deep and sweeping implications for organizations. Leadership and Self-Deception provides the perfect introduction to this material. It is engaging and fresh, easy to read, and packed with insight. I couldn't recommend it more highly." -- Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

"This is significant, original stuff. This book is a terrific introduction to Arbinger's groundbreaking material. I enjoyed it immensely." -- Robert C. Gay, Managing Director, Bain Capital

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 181 pages
• Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 1 edition (January 15, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1576750949
• ISBN-13: 978-1576750940
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (222 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #139,216 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

140 of 148 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The essence of true leadership is revealed, January 18, 2003

By	Michael Erisman (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

This review is from: Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box (Paperback)

This is a most unusual book on leadership. The premise here is not about leadership approaches, methodologies for managing employees in the workplace, or other business strategy, but is instead a close and powerful look at how we view others and how that view impacts our ability to lead them.

The first unusual aspect of this book is the manner in which it is written. It is basically a novel. It starts with contextual story written in first person, of a man who has recently joined a successful company as an executive and is called in to meet personally with the Company senior leader. From the first few pages I was anticipating and wanting to know what would happen next. It is within this method that the leadership principles are revealed. This is an extremely important way to deliver a message. I know a few people who do not read novels, but stick to non-fiction types of books. This is a tremendous loss, as truth is most eloquently and powerfully conveyed within the context of a story. In the New Testament for example, Jesus taught most powerfully in parables, weaving truth into a common story people could relate to. In that manner this book weaves some powerful messages about leadership into a modern day parable of a business executive.

The concept presented in this book of what leadership is, is also a more unusual one in that the focus is not on "what" we do behaviorally to others, our outward leadership style, as most leadership books focus on, but rather our inward view of these individuals as people. The foundational question is whether we are "in the box" or not. "In the box" refers generally to viewing others as objects through our own biased lens, which often without our knowledge inflates our self-importance while diminishing theirs. When reading this story I couldn't help but draw parallels to companies I have worked for, like GE, where the culture of leadership was in place, but despite all the tools most managers were not effective delivering them. This book will give one explanation on why.

This book is personally challenging, in that the focus is not on how we act in that compartment of our lives called work, but rather who we are in relation to others in our family, our workplace, and strangers in our society. I think that the message here should be experienced, so I will not lay out all the components of the book, but rather encourage you to read to be likewise challenged about your own leadership and approach to others.

One other review here I noticed was titled "could be life changing". I agree. While the basic concept is not new, the packaging of this idea is so eloquently and powerfully done, that I would guess you may also experience some awareness bursts as I did while reading it. I found myself re-examining many aspects of how I lead my team at work, how I interact with peers and co-workers, and how I related to my wife. Simply put, a great book on leadership that would benefit anyone who reads it. Well done.

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Very simple, very good, October 7, 2005

By	Mike Smith (Albuquerque, NM) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)

This review is from: Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box (Paperback)

I hate business books. Hate them.
My parents and siblings practically insisted I read Stephen Covey's jargon-rich "The Seven Habits..." and I got as far as something about the "P/PC principle" before deciding I'd had too much. Just seeing print ads for "Who moved my cheese?" makes me want to vomit.
That said, this is not really a business book. It's a book about truly being a better person, and by being a better person, being a better spouse, parent, boss, friend, citizen, and employee. The whole concept of the book is one simple idea: treat people as if they're people, not as if they're objects.
Some car cuts you off in traffic?
Get mad!
No. A car didn't cut you off. A person did. Why? Why would a person do that? Have YOU yourself ever cut someone off? You did? Why did you?
"Well, I was in a hurry. I was late for an appointment...."
Well, maybe that guy was too....
Using this simple approach, the world can be a much nicer place, you can spend a lot less time being angry or frustrated, and you could end up liking people a lot more.
Unlike books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People," this book is not about tricks, or flattery, or social politics. It's about truly seeing people as real individuals, and then, it doesn't matter what you need to say to them, as long as they can tell you realize they're a real human being with real needs and concerns. Because to truly see someone, is to truly value them.
This book isn't perfect--it uses some pretty fruity terminology at times, its format of a boss talking with an employee is a little cheesy, and it ends abruptly--but it could change your life nonetheless. One reviewer said, "Upon finishing this book, I felt like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas morning," and I'd have to agree.
In fact, I'm going to re-read it, and get that feeling back again.

40 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I Have Met the Enemy: Me, October 24, 2000

By	Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Those who think highly of Who Moved My Cheese? will find this book especially valuable as they attempt to understand why so many people create their own problems, are unable to see that they are creating their own problems, and then resist any attempts by others to help them stop this disruptive cycle.

The authors create a hypothetical situation in which a recently hired senior-level executive, Tom Callum, is settling into his new duties at Zagrum Company. He is surprised to learn that part of his orientation involves understanding what is identified to him as "the box." As revealed in the narrative which develops (Tom is the narrator), self-betrayal occurs when we fail to do what we know we should do. Rather than accept responsibility, we blame someone else. As this pattern of self-deception continues, we begin to see the world in a way that justifies us. As a result, whether we realize it or not (probably not), we find ourselves in "the box."

It is important to understand that the box is not a fixed enclosure. People haul it around wherever they go, from one situation to the next, indeed from one job to the next, and from one marriage to the next. At the end of the business day, they take it home with them. I like the box metaphor because it correctly suggests enclosure and captivity. But in a sense, the box also resembles apparel. A raincoat, for example.

Those who are in the box should have two separate but related objectives: Get out of the box and then stay out of the box. How? Good question. Through their skillful presentation of various conversations between and among Tom and his associates at Zagrum Company, the authors answer that question by offering several specific suggestions. It would be inappropriate for me to reveal them now.

But think about it. How many times have you been in this situation? You know what you should do for another person but you don`t do it. This is self-betrayal. (Sound familiar?) Then you devise all manner of self-justifications. Perhaps you have said something to the effect that "It's not my job" or "It's not my responsibility" or "It wouldn't make any difference to her anyway" or "He got what he deserves." This is self-deception.

By the end of the book, Tom has completed Phase 1 of what the authors identify as a three-phase Results System™ and we have accompanied him each step of the way. The book ends with much of his personal growth yet to be completed.

At this point, I offer a word of caution: Please do not conclude that this brief commentary reveals everything you need to know about this remarkable book. I urge you to obtain a copy immediately and read it, then re-read it. It can be valuable to your understanding of why so many people create their own problems, are unable and/or unwilling to see that they are creating their own problems, and then resist any attempts by others to help them stop creating those problems.

This book will be even more valuable if you are among them...the "so many people."