The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict (Hardcover)

~ The Arbinger Institute (Author) "I'm not going!" The teenage girl's shriek pulled everyone's attention to her..." (more)
Key Phrases: choice diagram, helping things, Camp Moriah, Mount Moriah, Middle East (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The premise of this follow-up to Leadership and Self-Deception is simple: people whose hearts are at peace do not wage war, whether they're heads of state or members of a family. In this semi-fictional narrative ("inspired by actual events") illustrating the principles of achieving peace, the setting is a two-day parent workshop at an Arizona-based wilderness camp for out-of-control teenagers, but the storyline is a mere setting for an instruction manual. Workshop facilitators Yusuf al-Falah, a Palestinian Arab whose father was killed by Israelis in 1948, and Avi Rozen, an Israeli Jew whose father died in the Yom Kippur War, use examples from their domestic lives and the history of their region to illustrate situations in which the normal and necessary routines of daily life can become fodder for conflict. Readers observe this through the eyes of one participant, a father whose business is in nearly as much trouble as his teenage son. The usefulness of the information conveyed here on how conflicts take root, spread and can be resolved more than compensates for the pedestrian writing.
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Product Description

What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? And what if individually and collectively we systematically misunderstand that cause, and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve? Through an intriguing story of parents struggling with their troubled children and with their own personal problems, The Anatomy of Peace shows how to get past the preconceived ideas and self-justifying reactions that keep us from seeing the world clearly and dealing with it effectively. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other’s ethnic cousins. As the story unfolds, we discover how they came together, how they help warring parents and children to come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down. The choice between peace and war lies within us. As one of the characters says, "A solution to the inner war solves the outer war as well." This moving book offers more than just hope—it shows how we can prevent the conflicts that cause so much pain in our lives and in the world.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 231 pages
• Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. (July 28, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1576753344
• ISBN-13: 978-1576753347
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (96 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #69,638 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Marriage Lifeline, September 15, 2006

By	freeezn (Alaska) - See all my reviews

My husband and I were days away from divorce. We were each given a copy of this book the night before our court appearance by a dear friend. He could see how much pain both of us were in and wanted desperately to help us. He had already attended The Arbinger Institutes training and had read all of their books; most recently, this book. He knew how powerful its message is to the right heart.
There was a lot that transpired during the 18 hours preceding the court hearing. A lot of this book was read. Hearts were softened & changed and two prideful, selfish individuals became new people. I don't use this lightly when I say it helped facilitate a miracle in our lives. We have a long ways to go, but at least we will be traveling it together and we now have hope for ourselves, and for our marriage and "The Anatomy of Peace" has much to do with it.

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book!, July 9, 2006

By	Brad Lowe "Brad" - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I stayed up until 3:00 in the A.M. the day that I received the book and finished it that same day. It's the prequel to Leadership & Self Deception, and it continues to develop many of the same principles. In this book, however, they step away from the business atmosphere, and focus on changing yourself to effect change in relationships in the home, and between nations. I am confident that if everyone in the world read and understood the principles in this set of books, it would literally solve most all of the world's problems; problems at homes and with families, problems in the workplace, and problems between societies and governments. At the very least this book will change your perspective and change your life. It's due out in August, and I recommend it to everyone. [...]

33 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of those rare "EVERYONE NEEDS A COPY" books, September 6, 2006

By	Joanna Daneman (Middletown, DE USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (COMMUNITY FORUM 04)

I read this while taking a train to a meeting, and when I got back on the train, I re-read the entire book all over. I was absolutely blown away. The authors of the book, the Arbinger Institute, have discovered the secret to world peace--and to domestic tranquility in your marriage and family as well.

Coming as I do from a turbulent family, I recognized the push-pull issues that make people enemies who should love each other. And I recognized when in my life I decided to have peace in my heart and when I chose to be at war in my heart instead--and what the results were. Here is a system of engaging with everyone you meet in order to have peaceful relations.

The book starts with a story about a family taking their paroled drug-dealing son to a desert retreat and rehabilitation program run by an improbable pair of an Israeli and and Arab. The parents drop off the children and then spend a couple of days with the program therapists before leaving the kids behind. Suprise; the book is NOT about the desert survival experience of the kids; we only learn of this obliquely throughout the book. Instead, the parents learn how to deal with each other and their world with a peaceful heart. The system of teaching involves some parables, stories, charts and a pyramid starting at the top with "correction" but supported below with teaching, listening, and otherwise dealing lovingly with your fellow man.

The philosophy of Martin Buber is some of the basis for these important teachings. Buber stated that people either dealt with each other as I-YOU or as I-IT. When people deal with others as "it", we get everything from the person who is yapping on a cell phone while they carelessly careen through a parking lot to wholesale slaughter of people for being the wrong religion or race. From Buber's teaching, we learn how peace in our hearts is when we deal with I-YOU and when we turn our hearts to war, we've turned them to I-IT.

This is a most important book and I recommend that everyone get a copy of it and read it. And read it again. Your life will NOT be the same. It will be better.