Field Notes on the Compassionate Life: A Search for the Soul of Kindness (Hardcover)

~ Marc Ian Barasch (Author) "When I was in my twenties, my Buddhist teacher tricked me into taking a vow of universal compassion..." (more)
Key Phrases: cognitive empathy, mirror neurons, Good Eye, Dalai Lama, New York (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Writing in a friendly, upbeat voice, Barasch (Healing Dreams) is never pious as he ponders the meaning of compassion, its healing properties and the wisdom of the compassionate, from St. Francis and the Dalai Lama to caring individuals in Barasch's own life. Touching on psychology, social science and evolutionary biology, Barasch, former editor-in-chief of New Age Journal, explores his theme in a lively autobiographical style, with firsthand reportage, such as living temporarily as a homeless person. The compassionate life is not only liberating, it genuinely feels good, he says. But how do we overcome our innately self-serving tendencies? Barasch finds among bonobo chimpanzees a model for caring group behavior that he believes undermines Darwin's evolutionary idea of the survival of the fittest. He reports on new research that shows how love and caring may actually drive the bodily system, and he converses with an extraordinarily altruistic kidney donor and a father who has forgiven the killer of his daughter. He also observes an Israeli-Palestinian peace initiative, and reconciliations in Rwanda. Melding accessible reportage with spiritual quest, Barasch's stirring account is thought-provoking and inspiring. (Mar. 28)Forecast: With a flurry of blurbs from the likes of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Arianna Huffington, a 10-city author publicity/speaking tour and other media promotion, this unusual spiritual self-help book could rise above the pack.
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Review

<div>Washington Post: Barasch shares with the best science writers an ability to make you feel the excitement of discovery...[His book] will interest anyone who struggles to be kinder in a not-so-kind world.

Marc Barasch stands out as a bard of the human heart, spinning a gripping, thought-provoking, and entertaining tale as he explores the meandering paths of compassion. Here is an essential guidebook for anyone who cares deeply about the human condition, and about how we can help each other find our way through with love and guts.
--Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

Publishers Weekly (starred review): Writing in a friendly, upbeat voice, Barasch is never pious as he ponders the meaning of compassion, its healing properties and the wisdom of the compassionate, from St. Francis and the Dalai Lama to caring individuals in Barasch's own life. Touching on psychology, social science and evolutionary biology, he explores his subject with lively firsthand reportage. The compassionate life is not only liberating, it genuinely feels good, he says. But how do we overcome our innately self-serving tendencies? Barasch finds among bonobo chimpanzees a model for caring group behavior that he believes undermines Darwin's evolutionary idea of the survival of the fittest. He reports on new research that shows how love and caring may actually drive the bodily system, and he converses with an extraordinarily altruistic kidney donor and a father who has forgiven the killer of his daughter. He also observes an Israeli-Palestinian peace initiative, and reconciliations in Rwanda. Melding accessible reportage with spiritual quest, Barasch's stirring account is thought-provoking and inspiring. Forecast: With a flurry of blurbs from the likes of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Arianna Huffington, this unusual spiritual self-help book could rise above the pack.



...A powerful argument for a world of generosity and love. Barasch develops sophisticated social theory that challenges the paralyzing cynicism that is the common sense of our age. It should also be required reading at every college and in every workplace.
Rabbi Michael Lerner, editor, Tikkun.

Searching for heart in a world celebrating the brain, Marc Ian Barasch offers a refreshing look at what allows people to share feelings and what drives them to help those in need. The book is wide-ranging, erudite, and full of surprising insights into the behavior of the most empathic primate. --Frans de Waal, author of Our Inner Ape (Riverhead, 2005).

Marc Ian Barasch's Fieldnotes on the Compassionate Life is an excellent and penetrating book. His argument for compassion is balanced yet persuasive, and long overdue. This book ought to be a compulsory read for all.
par-- Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate



"In our post-nine-eleven world, compassion is no longer optional. Our future largely depends on it - and not just compassion toward one another, but also toward the earth and all its creatures. Describing how compassion unfolds in ordinary lives and transforms them is Barasch's great gift. Elegant, erudite, and profoundly gentle: this book is a shimmering jewel."
-- Larry Dossey, MD, author of Healing Words

"If I had to pick one skill that was most important for a negotiator --meaning everyone everyday -- it would be the ability to put yourself in the other side's shoes. In this extraordinary book -- part keenly observed field notes, part magical story-telling-- Marc Barasch helps us understand why and how this might be so, leading us deep into the mysteries of human and non-human compassion. !"
--William Ury, co-author Getting to Yes
</div> --The Washington Post

Awards: Readers Digest Editors Choice Booksense List Nautlilus Book Award BeliefNet --Readers Digest Editors Choice

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 352 pages
• Publisher: Rodale Books; 1st edition (March 10, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1579547117
• ISBN-13: 978-1579547110
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #361,104 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

47 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Well-written Excursion into the Realm of Compassion..., March 22, 2005

By	Dr. Jonathan Dolhenty (Port Orford, OR United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)

I will admit at the outset that this is not the sort of book I would normally be attracted to as I roamed the shelves of books at a bookstore. It would probably be shelved in the "self-help" section and I don't usually spend any time there. Categorizing Barasch's work as a self-help book, which some reviewers and bookstores have apparently done, is, I think, a mistake, and may result in some potential readers from being exposed to it. Like me, for instance. I probably wouldn't have become aware of "Field Notes on the Compassionate Life" had a publishers' representative not sent it to me for reading and review. I'm glad he did. It is an interesting work and especially well-written; the author has a literary style reminiscent of Henry David Thoreau and Joseph Wood Krutch.

Rather than place the "self-help" label on Barasch's book, I would consider the work a "personal journey" into the meaning and practice of "compassion," that somewhat elusive concept which so often befuddles us and is so often ignored because it smacks of "do-goodism" and "touchy-feely" pop-psychology. Fortunately, Barasch doesn't descend into that muddy swamp; instead, he conducts his search for the "soul of kindness" in a most empirical way by actually doing some field work on the subject (hence, the "Field Notes" in the title), somewhat like a cultural anthropologist going about trying to find out how some specific characteristic of a tribe functions and what its "meaning" is to the members of the group.

If there is anything the world needs (and has always needed, for that matter) it is love, empathy, compassion, and kindliness. Or, maybe, we can sum all of those characteristics up in that good old word "charity" in its full and traditional meaning. Whatever the case, Barasch proceeds to investigate the subject, drawing not only on the experience of his personal encounters with actual human beings, but integrating that experience with data from neuropsychology, biology, quantum physics, history, and the social sciences, with help from theological and philosophical traditions, and even the results from some current research in the field of medical science. Some commonly accepted "truths" are challenged by Barasch. For instance, Barasch finds among bonobo chimpanzees a model for caring group behavior that he believes undermines Darwin's evolutionary idea of the survival of the fittest. Could it be that the great driving force of our evolution was really "survival of the kindest"? And what does this mean about us today and what could this mean about our future?

Regarding what I have just said in the above paragraph, does the word "comprehensive" come to mind? It should, because this is indeed a comprehensive journey into the theory and practice of human benevolence. Barasch is conducting a search into the heart of the meaning of "compassion," using resources from virtually every area of the human experience. What can we learn from people who are exceptionally empathetic in their relation to others? Is there a way to help people become kinder toward other people? How do we and should we treat people who have done us harm? Can we actually transform ourselves and our society in general so that incidents of compassionate and benevolent behavior are increased? How can this be done?

You'll meet many interesting people along this journey the author writes about, including the homeless, the disadvantaged, and the dispossessed. (Barasch actually becomes one of the "homeless" for a period of time, in order to experience the condition.) But you'll also meet people such as an "altruistic" kidney donor, a circumstance which raises a question about far compassionate outreach should be extended. And you'll meet a father who has an extraordinary relationship with the killer of his daughter, and who has forgiven him for the deed. There is a particularly telling chapter which examines the current Middle Eastern crisis and an educational program which is devoted to resolving the differences -- with understanding and compassion -- between the Palestinian and Israeli children who are the major victims in that horrendous conflict.

Now, I know that some readers (particularly those who are aficionados of Ayn Rand's "virtue of selfishness") may be disturbed by Barasch's use of certain terms such as "altruism" and "sacrifice." I want to make them aware they should be careful before pouncing on Barasch's use of those terms and simply dismissing the author as another "irrational and immoral" promulgator of "self-sacrifice." He is not. Read the book carefully and you'll see how he himself wrestles with the issues of altruism and sacrifice. There are extremists on both sides of this question. There are those who are so self-absorbed (genuinely "selfish" in the traditional sense) that everyone wants to avoid them and it is a wonder they can live in normal human society at all. Then there are those who are so "other-absorbed" (genuinely "altruistic" in the Randian sense) that a normal human being would want to avoid them altogether because their "self-obsession" for "others" is so bothersome and so often "suspect." There is a middle (read "moderate") road here which Barasch walks during his journey, avoiding either extreme.

In conclusion, I think "Field Notes on the Compassionate Life" is worth a read by anyone who is interested in human nature, benevolence, compassion, personal happiness, and the future of humanity. The world is in a sad state of affairs. We have tried hate, war, discrimination, capital punishment, and all sorts of other antihuman policies to make what we thought would be a better world. These have failed. For how many centuries does humankind have to knock its head against the same wall of malice toward others until it comes to its senses? Maybe we ought to try a little compassion, a little kindliness, a little benevolence toward our fellow human beings and see if that works. It would certainly be easier on the head, not to mention on the wall.

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Compassion or Contention?, May 2, 2005

By	M. L Lamendola (Merriam, KS USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This book is a "must read." On the downside, the author is a bit wordy at times. But at other times, his writing simply sparkles. This book provides useful information, compelling case histories, and thought-inspiring statements.

What's most valuable about this book is its message. Just prior to writing this review, I exchanged e-mails with a business-person who provided several accounts of customers and suppliers who are petty, rude, and selfish. Such behavior seems to be "normal," these days. We need look only to accounts of road rage and powerful government bureaucrats to support the contention that people are, well, contentious.

But, is this the way humans are headed? Or is there something else developing for us? And what about you, personally? How can you create greater levels of kindness in the world around you? Barasch provides solid insights into this, backed by extensive information that includes clinical research.

This isn't another of those "follow this simple formula" books written just to provide additional income for a motivational speaker. Far from it (Barasch isn't a motivational speaker, for one thing). Though highly credentialed to write a book that leads you to contemplate your world view, Barasch doesn't claim to have the magic answers. Instead, he takes various aspects of compassion (devoting a chapter to each) and supplies some amazing case histories that provide lessons for all of us.

A particularly moving case history involves the father of a murdered 43-year old woman--and her killer. You might expect a parent to completely hate the murderer of his child. And, that was this father's first reaction. But hatred is a hot coal that burns those who hold it. This father, instead, extended love to the murderer. The results of that serve as a living legacy to the murdered daughter. She had devoted her life to helping others, and now--through the man who murdered her--this woman's father is working minor miracles in the lives of many prisoners.

Another example is a camp for teenagers. But, not just any teenagers--this is a camp that brings Israeli and Palestinian teens together. You can imagine the difficulties there--kids from two cultures that each demonize and hate the other to the point where people strap bombs on their bodies to blow up "the enemy." Yet, the people who run the camp program were able to make some surprising breakthroughs. This story alone justifies the book, but there's more.

A constant theme throughout the book is we have the power to choose to love--or to hate. We aren't trapped into one or the other, unless we let ourselves be trapped. But many of us are trapped, and we're trapped in a room constructed of something negative, such as pettiness or hatred. We're trapped because we simply cannot find the door. Fortunately, Barasch has some great ideas to help us not only see that door, but to throw it wide open.

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books I have read in a long, long time, April 14, 2005

By	anonymous - See all my reviews

Barasch's style is casual and yet compelling, drawing the reader into his quest to understand and practice compassion. I find it altogether easy to relate to his questions, his search, and his desire to live compassionately. He is not a guru sharing rarified wisdom, but a fellow traveler whose experiences, obstacles, questions, and frustrations mirror my own. At the same time, he clearly asserts that compassionate living is attainable not only for the mystic few but for any willing to pursue it with an open heart. Hence the book is empowering, encouraging, exciting, and illuminating. I can't recommend it highly enough.