Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
You have met the enemy...., October 18, 2000
Which lies? Chandler explains that "These are the lies to the soul...[which] we send down inside ourselves that convince us that we don't have any power." His book is dedicated "to uncovering a racket -- the racket of conning ourselves into believing deep down inside we are helpless. The racket that talks us into believing in our defects instead of our energy." Chandler believes (and I agree) that honesty really is the best policy, especially with ourselves. The opposite is also true. Most of our wounds are self-inflicted. One way or another, the 17 lies he examines are forms of self-deception which can so easily enable us (key word "enable') to justify to ourselves almost anything. Ernest Hemingway once suggested that all great writers have "a built-in, shock-proof crap detector." (His own was often in need of repair.) Without such a device, we are vulnerable to lies told by others. Worse yet, we believe the lies we tell ourselves.Chandler explains, "The widespread popularity of self-deceiving might be due to its effectiveness. It gets the job done. It takes us out of the game. It sits us down at the end of the bench so we don't have to play. It even puts a cool towel around our necks, a towel in which we can hide our faces if we become ashamed that the world is passing us by." Even those who compete can always find a reason to justify lack of effort, selfishness, insubordination, etc. The material in this book is organized within two parts: "Lying to the Soul" which introduces the 17 lies, a chapter devoted to each; then "Finding Your Deepest Power" in which Chandler discusses the true source of power, the idea of owning one's life, the concept of self-control, and the process of locating one's "soul purpose." Frankly, I have by now become weary of (if not hostile to) books and articles on many of these same subjects. (You know what I mean: "Give yourself a big hug and then go buy yourself South America! You deserve it because you're wonderful!") For that reason I was somewhat skeptical as I began to read Chandler's book. Almost immediately I realized that Chandler really does have some very important insights to share, most of them obtained after years of lying to himself. As I approached the final chapter, I was eager to be told how to stop the deception..."all this lying." I was ready for THE ANSWER. Well, Chandler refuses to provide one. Only after I re-read the book did I fully understand what he means (in the final chapter) when he suggests, "The best way to stop the lying is to stop it your own way. Once you know [italics] the truth that you are powerful beyond measure, you will intuitively and immediately find your own way. The truth itself sets you free....Once you've found your own way to be straight with yourself, you will use it forever. It won't go away, because it's yours. You own it. When the time comes, don't forget to be happy. You are an owner of the human spirit." How easy it is to read comments such as these; how difficult it was for Chandler to gain the personal experience he needed to recognize the truth in them. In the strongest terms I can now summon, I urge you to read and then re-read this book. It will not transform your life from lies to truth, from self-deception to self-revelation. Only you can do that but Chandler will help you to complete that difficult process.
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34 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Good or not? Depends on what you expect, January 3, 2005
If you expect this book as the sequel to the author's highly acclaimed "100 ways to motivate yourself" (I rated that a five star), you would very likely be disappointed.
To give you an idea of what the book's about and to save your time on checking the content page available here on Amazon, below please find the 17 lies/chapters for your quick reference:-
L1. It's who you know
L2. There's something wrong with me
L3. I'm too old for that
L4. I cant because I'm afraid
L5. I'd love to do that, but I dont have the time
L6. There's nothing I can do
L7. I worry because I care
L8. I'm sadder now but wiser
L9. The longer I have a habit, the harder it is to break
L10. People really upset me
L11. Winning the lottery would solve everything
L12. They're too beautiful for this world
L13. You hurt my self esteem
L14. It's a shame we didnt capture that on video
L15. That's just the way I am
L16. What (alcohol and drugs) doesnt kill me make me stronger
L17. I am helpless
If those lies happen to be your problems, you may find it helpful, though I deem the quoted examples in each chapter few and timid, which is the very reason I dont like this book much. Also, there are just too many blank pages.
In short, much better alternatives are available in a bookstore, like the author's own "100 ways to motivate yourself".
p.s. No matter what, I do like the following quotes in the book.
Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it. People come to be builders, for instance, by building, and harp players by playing the harp. In the same way, by doing just acts we come to be just. By doing self-controlled acts, we come to be self-controlled, and by doing brave acts we become brave.
- Artistole pg 25
The word enthusiasm comes from the Greek en theos, which means "the God within." If that's what enthusiasm means, you can figure out what the opposite of enthusiasm is. pg 98
The real truth is that the wiser you are, the happier you get. Because wisdom does that. If one is becoming sadder, it's not because one is becoming wiser, it is because one is quitting. One is giving up. She left me for another, so i quit. pg 100
There are many ways to victimize people. One way is to convince them that they are victims.
- Karen Huang pg 135
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20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
If A Wise Man Were Across The Table......, May 30, 2000
Having read and admired Steve Chandler's first two books, I was prepared for a lot of rehashing of the same material - which was okay as the first two were truly inspiring works. However, there's no recycling here. "17 Lies That Are Holding You Back & the Truth That Will Set You Free" is truly a book of practical thoughts to help you quit fooling yourself with self-inflicted falshoods and face life with a new attitude. Mr. Chandler does not allow for excuses (too old, not enough education, etc.) and he writes with an easy-to-read style that is without pretense. This is a guy who hit bottom, fought his way back, and plainly tells you how he managed to do it - and how you can too. This wasn't meant to be a deep psychological tome -- It was meant to be practical. For example, most "self-help" books are full of exercises that tell you that "you must stop right now and take this test," or "write this 100 word essay," before you can go on. You will find none of this in "17 Lies." Imagine sitting across a table with a man who has hit rock bottom in his life, and between sips of coffee he tells you his story and how he climbed back, and you batter him with questions which are answered without psychobabble and in a humble, enlightening way. If you listen carefully, you'll here truth that is simple, makes sense, and hear many things to make your own life better, whatever your lot in life. Imagine that litle scene and make it happen by spending a night or two with Steve Chandler's "17 Lies That Are Holding You Back & the Truth That Will Set You Free."
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