Urban Tribes: Are Friends the New Family? (Paperback)

~ (Author) "What ever happened to getting married?" I asked a carful of friends..." (more)
Key Phrases: urban tribes, marriage delay, clustering coefficient, San Francisco, New York, Burning Man (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Journalist Watters parlays his 2001 New York Times Magazine think piece and subsequent Good Morning America appearance into a debut book, a sociological examination of the pleasures of a segment of his generation-the "yet to be marrieds" ages 25 to 39. They're the ones who live in bohemian garrets yet feel affluent because their baby boomer parents will probably leave them their money. They host great New Year's Eve parties and travel en masse to the New Orleans Jazz Festival. They're the "Burning Man" generation, drawn like lemmings to the annual desert art festival. Demographers call them "never-marrieds" and say they're one of the fastest-growing groups in America. Most tellingly, in Watters's view, the habit of establishing "urban tribes"-rotating networks of friends and acquaintances-covers all functions formerly served by the traditional family, thus eliminating the need for marriage and intimacy. It's often a white, upper-middle-class, post-college phenomenon (Watters attends a Philadelphia Cinco de Mayo celebration to which, he notes, no Hispanics have been invited), but, finds Watters, "groups that formed later, during the swirl of adult city life, could sometime[s] match the remarkable diversity of those communities." He refutes claims by sociologists that modern youth has lost the civic-mindedness of previous generations by describing urban tribes' "different style[s] of giving back." He also delves into the eternal conundrum of why men don't like to commit, consulting average Joes and psychologists alike, and questions the "stigma of single life." Sure, these issues have been raised before, but Watters's breezy writing and sunny optimism are refreshing, and his evocation of the good times of San Francisco's dot-com boom years has period charm to burn.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"An anthropological and yet warmly personal look at the generation that delayedd marriage." -- Seattle Times

"Fascinating and humorous, Urban Tribes is an insightful and important exploratiion of modern city society." -- Book Sense

"Watters is a definer of our culture." -- Philadelphia City Paper

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Bloomsbury USA (October 7, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1582344418
• ISBN-13: 978-1582344416
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #755,838 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars don't believe the hype, February 18, 2004

By	Shannon B Davis "Nepenthe" (Arlington, MA United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Urban Tribes: A Generation Redefines Friendship, Family, and Commitment (Hardcover)

By the time the reader realizes that Urban Tribes doesn't even merit the genre "pop-sociology", he/she is sucked into the narrative of Ethan Watters' personal quest for meaning. The first several chapters explore human social behaviour in a form that many young adults are familiar with. With self-congratulatory tones, we read about how our post-college lifestyles have been beneficial not just to ourselves, but to the world. I, for one, wasn't concerned about whether or not my lifestyle had meaning and had never sought to prove its worth. This author, however, was clearly very concerned about the merit of his choices and uses the first half of the book to demonstrate that the Urban Tribe lifestyle is both steeped in human sociology and a novel way to deal with the vagaries of singlehood in the early twenty-first century. Even this section, while peppered with statistics, consists mainly of anecdotal evidence.

The second half of the book descends into personal narrative. Although I did find it quite amusing, Ethan's exploration of male/female relationships as they pertained mostly to himself and his friends did not as I saw it further the message of the earlier part of the book. I laughed as Ethan attempted to navigate various pop-psychology theories about mating, particularly when he tried to convince his friends that evolutionary psychology should dictate the rules of the game. Then there is his analysis of the latest dating advice books, such as The Rules. I hadn't realized that anyone had taken them seriously, but there was an astonishing amount of articles pressuring women to marry. It is all very entertaining.

At the end, as Ethan describes his happy marriage and the transition from tribe-life to married-life, I felt dissatisfied. If this was to be a book about the Urban Tribe, it should not have become a book about marriage. If this was a book about marriage, why muddy it with the concept of Urban Tribes? In the beginning, he takes great care to describe how the "never-marrieds" of his generation are much more than single people, and how they are forging a new type of life for the coming century. However, his ending reveals that he too believes that marriage is the eventual goal for all people. I don't have a problem with marriage, but I think he lost his way on his own argument.

In summary, this book contains a great introduction to the Urban Tribes concept, followed by a very funny personal narrative about dating, and ends with an analysis of marriage in our times. I cannot say it was a good book, but if I had read each of its parts individually, I would have said I enjoyed them all.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars kind of insulting, March 7, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Urban Tribes: A Generation Redefines Friendship, Family, and Commitment (Hardcover)

I felt duped. This book is not about "urban tribes" so much as the author, a newly married father writing about his playboy days and the friends he used for emotional support. As a character, he seems superficially charming and not enough flawed. His attempts at self-deprecation amuse but are too shallow to fully engage. As a memoir, the book lacks honesty and universality. As social science, it lacks science. Too bad - the subject deserves some depth.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars I couldn't even finish it..., July 19, 2006

By	S.R.W. Phillips "StevieRae5" (Lexington, Kentucky USA) - See all my reviews

I bought this book because it seemed like something right up my alley. I absolutely love anything related to sociology, anthropology, etc. However, although this had its moments, Watters simply could not hold my attention. It seemed less like a coherent piece of literature and more like ramblings from his inner monologue put down on a page. It didn't help that he repeatedly committed my pet peeve by referring to the popular TV series (and one of my personal favorites) "Sex and the City" by the incorrect title "Sex IN the City." If an author can't even be bothered to do a simple internet search to make sure they don't make mistakes like this, I am left to wonder what broader mistakes they may be making.

I always, always make myself finish books, but, late last night, with 40 pages left, I began to wonder why I was wasting my time with this and literally threw it across the room and picked up a new, much more interesting book. I skipped ahead and noticed that Watters eventually gets married. Congrats. If you're looking for a real study of the "marriage delay," look elsewhere. This is far from scholarly and miles from interesting.