Loving Homosexuals as Jesus Would: A Fresh Christian Approach (Paperback)

by Chad W. Thompson (Author)
Key Phrases: homosexual strugglers, overcoming homosexuality, reparative therapy, Lenny Carluzzi, Mars Hill, Joe Dallas (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist
Gays who claim to have changed their sexual orientation get no respect, according to Thompson, who makes this point only at the conclusion of this excellent book of counsel and personal testimony, and then only to urge that they come out about their wish to change just as they came out about being gay. Before then, he parcels out his own story of turning away from homosexuality as he urges Christians to love gays by fighting antigay discrimination, bigotry, and violence, and, most important, by opening the church and their arms to them. He means the latter literally, for he is convinced that lack of nonerotic same-sex physical affection is a major factor in developing homosexuality, and that practice with it--hugging--is crucial to short-circuit and prevent homoeroticism. As the book proceeds, Thompson tells ever more of his own story, and with it much about psychologist Joseph Nicolosi's controversial reparative therapy for homosexuality. Doing so, he clarifies and strengthens his overall message of love without strings even as he defends reparative therapy. Ray Olson
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Description
Chances are you know someone who is gay--a coworker, family member, or friend. And chances are, as a Christian, you're not exactly sure how to relate to this person. While the church has been pretty good at "hating the sin," it hasn't really known how to "love the sinner" without fear of condoning a homosexual lifestyle. Chad Thompson, a man who has struggled with homosexual feelings, argues that "homosexuality needs to be solved through relationships." Drawing from the life and words of Jesus, Thompson gives readers permission to love and befriend homosexuals before they change--and radically, even if they never change--their sexual orientation. This candid book includes an appendix of additional resources. It will be a valuable tool for pastors, teachers, counselors, and any Christian who knows someone who is gay.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Brazos Press (November 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1587431211
• ISBN-13: 978-1587431210
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #237,018 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting Point of View That I Didn't Know, April 15, 2005

By	Www.SubjectiveArt.Com (Miami, FL USA) - See all my reviews

This book taught me things I did not know at all.

I did not know or had never heard of ex-gay until I read this book. The author calls a person who wants to be heterosexual, a "struggler." I like that name. The book, however, is written realistically. It states that the change from gay to ex-gay is harder if the struggler has already engaged in actual sexual activities instead of mere thoughts.

I did not know that pre-gay had a hard time being accepted by LGBT public. I also did not know that "homosexual gene" was an unconfirmed statement. I did not know that it was possible for a gay to become a ex-gay. I did not know that there are a group of people who believe that most homosexual feelings are strongly related to the relationships with caretakers while growing up.

I appreciate the way the author expect those who do not want to change the way they are and accept them the way they are instead of trying to convince them to become ex-gay.

Though I know of the teaching of Christ, I do not call myself a Christian. With that being said, the book was still informative to me. If I were to be a Christian I would have been able to relate to the religious content of the book, but I did my best to understand it. The focus of this book is not to convince something. The focus of this book is unconditional love and useful support in case someone wants to come out of homosexual feelings and also information to those who do not want to change so they can understand what ex-gay is all about.

I am heterosexual, but I enjoyed this book, leaning things I did not know. Though the author is very religious, I did not feel the pushiness I often feel from other books by religious authors. I recommend this book to anyone with any sexual orientation, any religious background, and any vocation.

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars What nonsense, April 13, 2009

By	C. Nanavati (boston, ma) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The entire concept of an ex-gay is repulsive, must less the rest of this book.

40 of 61 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Hug Away Your Homosexuality???, November 15, 2005

By	J. Huck "Jayhuck" - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

[...] This book is absolutely NOT about science. The book completely ignores or dismisses a number of studies that have been done by Christian and secular therapists, most of them straight, who have shown that most homosexuals are happy, and that many are very capable, in spite of society's inability, still, to fully accept them, to form lasting and loving relationships. This book also doesn't mention the number of studies done very recently that show that the children of homosexuals grow up no better OR worse than those of heterosexual couples - although I think it's important to mention these things. This book IS about a sect of Christianity that truly believes it is immoral, not to be gay mind you, but for homosexuals to seek romantic love with each other. This idea of immorality is the mindset that Doctors Nicolosi and Socarides (a co-founder of NARTH who has a gay son) start with when they perform their research, and this is the mindset of almost all who are involved with the Ex-Gay movement.

In this book Chad uses a list of numbers and percentages in an effort to show that most gay men have problems in their relationships with their fathers. One problem here, if you look close enough, is that he offers no comparable numbers for straight men. The most glaring error with this conclusion however, is that nowhere in this list of numbers are we told exactly WHEN the gay men developed these poor relationships with their fathers. This is important, because most therapists agree that sexual orientation is set in the very early years of life, some say by the age of 3. HOWEVER, most gay men don't develop poor relationships with their fathers until much later in life - in their teens or even later. These kinds of things happen frequently in Chad's book though. He appears so eager to spread his message of change, that the search for Truth gets lost in the process.

The only real disturbing thing about Chad's message/book, is that he maintains change is open to *anyone* who wants it. This statement however flies in the face of all available evidence from mainstream psychologists AND NARTH. The success rate for Reparative Therapy varies anywhere from 20% - 70%, depending on who you talk to. Some recent evidence suggests that the success rate is well below 40%. This means that a vast majority of individuals who seek this type of therapy, and who I assume really want to change, are NOT able to. This has also led to the Ex-Ex Gay movement, which is interesting in its own right. The advocates of Reparative Therapy see these failures and put the blame on the patient, saying that they just didn't try hard enough - which seems really sad to me.

Most psychologists worth their salt would admit that they don't fully understand sexuality yet. Scientists are pretty sure, as Chad says, that it is formed by a combination of genes and environmental factors: this applies to hetero- as well as homo-sexual orientations. The difference between all mainstream doctors and therapists and those who belong to NARTH, is that NARTH claims it DOES know the reason for homosexuality - or rather REASONS - and Chad's book gives us a laundry list of those things that NARTH's proponents claim cause homosexuality - none of which are backed up by peer studies. I will never go so far as to claim that Chad hasn't changed - I believe at the very least that he believes he has changed - the mind is a very powerful thing when we want something badly enough. Another aspect of sexual orientation that is not discussed in this book, is that orientations seem to be more fluid than they are static - some people lead straight lives for awhile then realize they are really gay, or at least they are more attracted to men than women. This happens in reverse as well. Some men begin dating other men, and find out later in life that they are really more attracted to the opposite sex. All of this can and does happen without prayer or the intervention of a few Christian therapists and evangelists with a political/moral agenda to push - not that Chad has a political agenda - I think his message is well-intentioned and free of politics - BUT, the people who frequently sponsor Chad and the rest of the Ex-Gay movement, DO have a political agenda, and they are serious and determined to undermine gay people and their search for equal rights.

Chad's overview of the APA's 1973 decision to remove homosexuality from the list of psychological diseases is far too simplistic, and doesn't take into account a number of things going on at the time like the very anti-gay atmosphere that existed in the group, or the fact that it took the group a full year of discussing the issue before it was pulled from the DSM.

I would like to write more but I only hope that people will appreciate and respect Chad's message, but not take everything he has to say as "gospel".