Losing Control and Liking It: How to Set Your Teen (and Yourself) Free (Paperback)

~ Tim Sanford (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Parents of teens—especially Christian ones—know only too well that many sons and daughters abandon the “straight and narrow” when they hit adulthood. The pressure on these parents to make their kids turn out right is enormous. Sometimes this pressure can lead parents to think they have to control their kids. Losing Control and Liking It offers parents relief of a burden they were never meant to carry and will help build family relationships based on validation and nurturing instead of control.

From the Back Cover

Discover the joys of cage-free parenting

It’s been drummed into your head: You have to make your kids turn out right. If you don’t, what will people think? Worse, what disasters await if your child takes the wrong path?

You try to control the outcome. You turn your home into a fortress, multiply the rules, or jump in to “fix” things the moment your teenager makes a poor choice. You wear yourself out with worry—and alienate your child to boot.

The truth is that you can’t make your kids turn out right. It’s not even your job. In fact, your real role as a parent is much more rewarding, pleasant, and doable. Let experienced counselor and parent Tim Sanford show you how to give up your fears about your teenager’s future—and the control you never really had. You’ll discover the truth about how God parents His children, and it will set you free.

You can turn your home from a battleground to a birthplace of freedom for you and your teen. You’re about to lose control—and we think you’ll like it.

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. (December 8, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1589974816
• ISBN-13: 978-1589974814
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #282,893 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Top notch book about parenting teens with less stress, January 11, 2009

By	Christina Lockstein "http://christysbookblog.... (Oconto Falls, WI USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

Losing Control and Liking It by Tim Sanford is one of the best parenting books I've ever read. I'm always looking for ways to improve my parenting, especially of my two teens, and Sanford has an original and terrific view of raising teens. As the mother of two teenagers, I know that I am often tempted to crack down on them and put more controls in their lives, but that seems to backfire in my face. More often I have a bit of a laissez faire attitude, and that seems to keep everyone happy, except for some other parents who have been less than kind in their comments about my parenting. Sanford affirms that it's vital to allow teens a certain amount of freedom as they age because otherwise they will rebel and act out if the control is too tight. At the same time, it's important to keep some rules in their lives so they feel safe and loved. Sanford takes this delicate balance and maps it out for parents in an easy to live with way. He wants parenting to be less stressful and more fulfilling for both parents and their kids. He suggests setting a maximum of five rules for the house with clear consequences. Parents should offer more advice and suggestions to teens than rules and attempts to control. I loved this book. Sanford has an easy-going writing style and lots of anecdotes to back up his views. Most importantly, he lets parents know that it's not our job to make our kids turn out "right." That's their decision to make, not ours to force.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars MUST have book on parenting for all parents of teenagers..., September 26, 2009

By	L. Robertson (Redmond, WA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Amazon Verified Purchase

As the parents of four goal-oriented, strong, spirited young adults, one who is now 23, one who, most sadly, died this summer at the age of 20, one who is 19, and one who is almost 18, this is the best book we have ever found on parenting through the times when teenagers are pushing limits as they figure out who they are and what they believe...for themselves. For those readers who follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, you will find great encouragement to trust the One who truly loves your young adult far more than you do, which will free you up to simply love your child and nurture a great relationship with them, rather than trying to control their behavior.

We have found so much of what Tim Sanford teaches to be true, and yet we find ourselves going back to this book again and again for reminders and encouragement when we are tempted to "clamp down" out of fear, when really we should be trusting not only our God, but the process that will occur naturally as all that we have taught and modeled over the year comes together with the God's current work in the life of our incredibly insightful, thoughtful, opinionated 17 year old.

5.0 out of 5 stars Great, September 28, 2009

By	Sunshine - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

All parents need to read this book. As always, I can't say I agree with every word, but it is definitely eye opening, helpful, and hard to follow sometimes as a parent.