Love Must Be Tough (Paperback)

by James Dobson (Author) "MORE THAN 100,000 LETTERS AND HUNDREDS OF TELEPHONE calls pour through our Focus on the Family offices each month, representing the full range of human..." (more)
Key Phrases: loving toughness, trapped partner, unfaithful partner, Wife's Perspective Husband's Perspective, Marriage Encounter, Keith Ruff (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
At the core of most marital conflicts lies an overlooked but vicious culprit: disrespect. According to Dr. James Dobson, this symptom is the most serious indicator of potential family breakup. In his groundbreaking classic that popularized the “tough love” principle, Dr. Dobson offers practical help for the spouse who wants to hold the marriage together. He shows how to rekindle romantic interest and draw the offending partner back home. For new generations faced with ever-increasing threats to stable and loving bonds, Love Must Be Tough offers realistic hope.

From the Publisher
8 1-hour cassettes --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Multnomah Books (January 10, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1590523555
• ISBN-13: 978-1590523551
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 6.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (47 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #112,251 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

66 of 69 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Dobson was tough love before "tough love" was cliche., March 16, 2001

By	John H. Henderson (Rockledge, FL USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Love Must Be Tough (Hardcover)

This must be one of Dobson's most well-known books and for good reason. First of all, it is NOT a book on child discipline - "tough love" is used so much in relation to child rearing that one might be led to think that, but Dobson was probably teaching on this topic long before the phrase became part of popular culture. (Dobson does have excellent books on child rearing, too, though!)

This is a book on relationships, and how one must always maintain their dignity and confidence regardless of what the relationship throws his way, and how appeasement may force a relationship apart because lack of self-respect causes a lack of respect for you among others.

Although the bulk of the book talks primarily of divorce, separation, affairs and other marital problems, the principles apply to ALL relationships, and I, a never-married single adult, benefited greatly from it. There is, in fact, one chapter, "Loving Toughness for Singles" which discusses applying the principles of the book to dating relationships.

The principles of this book need to be understood by everyone who desires to have healthy relationships. And it would be better to understand them sooner than later, and have to apply the principles in an attempt to repair a broken relationship.

51 of 53 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book, but you must have the fortitude to follow!, May 24, 2005

By	B. Coulombe "jarbarian" (Foothill Ranch, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Dr. Dobson is 100% correct in his methods. It IS guidance by the Lord. Showing TOUGH LOVE is the only way to help someone you love. Be it your spouse, a child or a relative. The methods in this book are not tricks. They delve into the psychology of what happens when someone feels "caged" in a relationship. It's based on the well known fact "the harder you try and hold on to someone, the harder they fight to get away."

And this book is not just for Marriage issues. Dr. Dobson lists 16 things you need to know when you enter into a relationship that can keep you from blowing it. Had I known then what I know now, I would be upset at myself. I blew 14 of the 16 things and it's no wonder she ran away calling me "clingy" and "soft." I was and Dr. Dobson showed me exactly why.

This book is NO GUARANTEE that you will win your spouse or significant other back. But, like anything else, if you don't do something you will more assuredly lose them anyway. Pray hard and read this book if you want to keep them. Learn to give them space.

While I may have blown my chances with my ex (and I think I have) at least I am sure I will never repeat the same mistakes again.

Single or Married, you need this book!

44 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars How to love when it's not fun, July 16, 1998

By	James Denton "Chip" (Boise, Idaho) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Love Must Be Tough (Hardcover)

Dr. Dobson deals with another everyday issue that many of us don't know how to deal with. How to say no to the ones we love.

I read this book when I was dealing with an unfaithful wife. Everything I had said hold on to her and "force" her to come back. Dr. Dobson recommended giving freedom since in the end no one can force another into staying in a relationship. He also deals with rebellious children which is basically the same thing as a wayward spouse. Sometimes NO is the answer. Yes you have the freedom to act that way but NO I will not tolerate you acting that way toward me. Yes you have the freedom to leave, but, NO I will not be here when you get back. Yes you have the freedom to commit adultery, but, NO I will not stay married to you if you choose that route. Yes you have the freedom to stay out all night, but, NO you cannot live here and continue to practice that behavior.

A lot of the advice Dobson gives is common sense, that some of us can't see! ! when we are in the middle of those emotional situations that require us to think logically.

I highly recommend this book.