Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships (Hardcover)

by Greg Baer (Author) "Relationships fail all around us every day-between spouses, lovers, siblings, friends, and co-workers, among others..." (more)
Key Phrases: feeling unconditionally, mutually loving relationship, loving requests, Real Love, Protecting Behaviors, Imitation Love (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
The most remarkable aspect of this self-help book is the author's avowal that he's been there, too, while he stretches a rudimentary concept into a full-blown book. Baer's message is simple. People toiling away in lukewarm relationships are lacking "real love"-the ability to care unconditionally about the happiness of another person. "When we're unhappy, our misery is not the fault of our partner. Blaming that person is therefore foolish, wasteful and destructive, because no matter how much we demand or insist, he or she cannot make us happy." Ophthalmologist Baer (The Truth About Relationships) is not the first champion of the "you-get-out-of-it-what-you-put-into-it" school, and his suggestion that individuals are responsible for their own happiness is hardly novel. What distinguishes his map to the romantic holy grail from the others in its genre is Baer's admission of his own fallibility. He's been down and out, and there's something reassuring about his willingness to admit to failures as well as triumphs. As a result, the overall effect of this book is soothing, but readers shouldn't expect the truths found here to be anything new.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
This self-help book is written by an ophthalmologist who uses his personal experience of recovery from divorce and drug addiction to chart a course for others to learn how to find real love in heterosexual marriage. By "real love," Baer means love that is given unconditionally, and he describes many situations that may look like love but are only "imitation" in that it has conditions or strings attached. He also characterizes the many behaviors that people use either to get love or to protect themselves from lack of real love. Unfortunately, his reasoning often seems circular and simplistic, and there are areas where his judgment can be challenged: his discussion of anorexia is not supported by current psychological theory, and his brief discussion of abusive situations could be dangerously misconstrued to lead a victim to stay in a violent relationship. Finally, there are no notes or bibliography. Although the author is popular on the lecture circuit and radio, there is enough questionable material here to withhold a recommendation. Many better books on relationships are available.
Margaret Cardwell, Christian Brothers Univ., Memphis, TN
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Gotham Books (January 27, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1592400000
• ISBN-13: 978-1592400003
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 6.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.5 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #258,514 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Allowing in the light, April 26, 2003

By A Customer

This book ends up better than it starts out and it starts out well. I have seen it change the lives of people I know and I am buying them and giving them away as fast as I can afford to. The principles explained are easy to understand, but more difficult to apply. However the rewards of application are worth every effort. Telling the truth about ourselves as Dr. Baer teachers allows the light to come into our hearts freeing us from darkness and self deceit.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The obvious truth -- that is rarely addressed, February 20, 2003

By A Customer

Have you ever wondered why an intelligent and motivated person like yourself finds it so difficult to change your life? I did and in reading this book and its predecessor "The Truth About Relationships", I found what the self-help books I've read have left out--that changing your life is more than affirmations, deep breathing exercises, and even self-discipline and commitment. This book shared with me what really makes people happy and how to find the happiness that creates the lasting changes and true happiness that you always wanted but never seemed to grasp. Don't assume that you know what "Real Love" is--you may not have really experienced it. But don't despair--you really can change. Do yourself a favor and buy, beg, or borrow (but don't steal) this book! It just might teach you a thing or two!!

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!!! Must-Read for Achieving Happiness!!!, February 28, 2004

By	sukilalala (NYC) - See all my reviews

My mentor/life coach recommended this book, and I could not put this book down once I started reading. Dr. Baer explains in plain language, with no b.s., what we are doing wrong and what has to be done to give and receive REAL LOVE so we could be truly happy. With the work I have been doing with my life coach (you can find her on amazon.com - catherine diane - and learn more about her if you are interested in having an amazing, VERY EFFECTIVE, very loving life coach yourself), I am truly getting the benefits out of this book. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!