Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide (Paperback)

~ Beverly Cobain Beverly (Author), (Author)
Key Phrases: survivor mother, suicidal mind, suicidal person, The Fatal, Staying Alive, Every Seventeen Minutes (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Honest, gentle advice for those who have survived an unspeakable loss—the suicide of a loved one.

Transforming suffering into strength, misconceptions into understanding, and shame into dignity, Beverly Cobain and Jean Larch break through the dangerous silence and stigma surrounding suicide to bring readers this much-needed book. Cobain’s achingly honest account of dealing with the suicide of a loved one, along with personal stories from others who experienced this profound loss, provide powerful insight into the confusion, fear, and guilt family members experience. A chapter about “the suicidal mind” helps families not only comprehend the depth of their loved one’s pain prior to suicide, but also understand why such desperation is so difficult to recognize—even in the closest relationships. By sharing survivor stories as well as the latest thinking and statistics about suicide, Cobain and Larch break through myths, misinformation, and misunderstandings. The result is a book of extraordinary compassion and steadfast guidance for anyone awash in the aftermath of unfathomable loss.

"This frank book about suicide is a giant step toward bringing another form of mental illness out of the closet."
— Mindy Greiling, Minnesota State Representative and National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) National Board of Directors

"This book is a masterpiece for the survivors of suicide and those who care about them."
— David Satcher, M.D., Ph.D., 16th U.S. Surgeon General and Interim President of Morehouse School of Medicine

About the Author

Beverly Cobain is a registered nurse, with certification in Psychiatric/Mental Health nursing. She is a survivor of three family suicides, including that of Kurt Cobain, the lead singer of the band Nirvana, who killed himself in 1994. Kurt's death led Bev to write the acclaimed book, When Nothing Matters Anymore..A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens, (Free Spirit Publishing, Minneapolis, MN, 1998), and to become a national speaker on the topics of depression and suicide. Bev resides in Costa Rica with her German Shepherd, Tosh.

Jean Larch, SWT, for the past two decades, has followed her passion at Macomb County Crisis Center as a Crisis Intervention Specialist, working closely with suicidal individuals and family members who have survived the loss of a loved one due to suicide. She has developed an acclaimed workshop on the subject of the suicidal mind, which continues to benefit both survivors and professionals. She trains mental health professionals on various aspects of suicide. She lives with her husband Mark in Michigan.

Product Details

• Paperback: 150 pages
• Publisher: Hazelden; 1 edition (February 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1592853293
• ISBN-13: 978-1592853298
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #216,415 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book!, February 27, 2006

By	J. Rogers (Michigan) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I read this book over the weekend and I thought it was wonderful! It is everything that someone would need to know if they had experienced losing someone to suicide or even knew someone who had lost someone to suicide. It is simple to understand yet so full of information. So many books I have read on suicide are full of information but use language that is too psychological for anyone not in the field to truly understand. I will definitely be recommending this book to any future clients of mine who need it. My favorite part of the book though was the way that the authors describe survivor grief. I have never read it described so perfectly. Anyone who was reading this book after experiencing a suicide would finally be able to realize that the way they are feeling is normal. And anyone who didn't understand how someone was feeling would be able to understand what his or her friend/family member is going through. And I loved all of the survivor stories the authors used throughout the book, especially at the end (so inspirational!). Seriously, this is a great book and I would highly recommend it.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars must have for survivors , September 19, 2006

By	Kimberly Ruocco - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I am so thankful that I found this book! My Husband, a vibrant, successful, hansome United States Marine took his own life a year and a half ago. How could someone who had so much to live for do such a thing? How could he leave us? What was he thinking? Why didn't I see it coming? In a desperate search for answers I read, talked, and listened. When I read Dying To Be Free, Many Of my questions were answered and I began my path of healing. This simple concise book helped me understand how my husband got to the point where suicide seemed like the ONLY option. The authors do an excellent job of tying together their own experiences with many other survivors and family members to find commonalities which help us to understand what went wrong.
I highly reccomend this book to anyone who is struggling with the "why" of suicide.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Addresses a gamut of emotions, February 8, 2006

By	Reader Views "www.readerviews.com" (Austin, Texas) - See all my reviews

Reviewed by Danielle Feliciano for Reader Views (2/06)

In "Dying to Be Free," the authors have provided the reader with a simple guide to understanding not only the loved one they have lost, but also to understanding themselves. The book addresses the mind of the suicidal person, and attempts to explain what my have driven him or her to suicide. It addresses the gamut of emotions that survivors feel, as well as various ways to aid in the healing process. It goes on to pinpoint some common warning signs of suicide, as well as help with what to do if you suspect someone of being suicidal. It also very briefly talks about what to do if you yourself begin to have suicidal thoughts.

This book is well organized and easy to read. Interspersed amongst the text are quotes from suicide survivors. These quotes give the book an appealing touch of reality, and will probably "speak" more to readers than simple author narrative. The last chapter shares stories of survivors who still feel connections to the loved ones they have lost to suicide. This offers great hope to other survivors that there is life beyond suicide, and that their loved ones are still with them in their own way. Reading these storied could be very comforting to someone who has suffered such a loss.

The writing was very simplistic and a bit choppy. It seemed as though the authors wanted to touch upon too many topics in too short of a book. This book addressed many issues that are important to survivors of suicide, but did not always expand upon those issues. "Dying To Be Free" would be a good starting point in the healing process, but should not be the sole resource a person relies on when trying to move past the suicide of a loved one.